So, I hate autumn. know this isn’t going to be a very popular post. Because almost everyone loves Autumn. Apart from me. Look, I did a Twitter poll to prove it:
What’s your favourite season and why?
— Corinne ?? (@skinnedcartree) 7 September 2016
I’m sad, lads. Really sad. Because I’m here clinging to the end of the summer like my life depends on it, all around me is joy and excitement about the season I hate the most. Depressing Autumn.
I hate Autumn
There, I said it. I don’t like Autumn.
In fact, I kind of hate it.
Most people see beautiful colours, being wrapped up warm in a scarf with a chai latte.
Not me. I see dead trees, rain and driving to work in the dark.
Man, that’s depressing. Especially as a girl that likes to exercise outdoors. You might think winter is the worst for that, I find winter is cold and bitter – but not as wet. Plus there’s something really peaceful about running on a winter morning when the air is fresh and crisp.
I really hate the word ‘autumnal’, too.
You can blame Zoella for this one. But I’d never heard anyone use that word before she did. Then afterwards, it was like everyone was saying it. AUTUMNAL. Can’t we just say ‘autummy’? I like that word better. Even if it’s not in the dictionary.
I also love long summer days. I was painfully reminded of autumn when I woke up for work. It was still dark and I was confused. Surely I had more sleep time? Nope. 6 am. Get up. Next up is when the clocks change and it’s dark at like 5 pm. That’s the worst.
Let there be light.
The next terrible thing to happen is all those massive spiders start chilling like a villain in your house. They’re very big in 2016. Bigger each year. They shouldn’t even be called spiders anymore. Spiders 2.0. Animals. MONSTERS. Demons?
So there’s that to look forward to. I’ve got my hoover ready. One time last year, there I was worried was too big for the hoover. My housemate texted me saying ‘Are you nearly home, it’s an emergency.
Then I got home and there was this big Spider 2.0 Animal Edition on our bathroom ceiling. She was more frightened than me.
She videotaped me doing it as evidence in case we died and I swear you can hear its screams as it gets sucked down the hoover pipe.
So that’s another reason I hate autumn. Spiders.
The last reason I hate autumn is berry lipstick. Everyone wears berry lipstick and when I try, look like a right dickhead in it. I just can’t pull that off. I’ll stick to my standard lippy, k thanks. I’m just not autumnal like you.
I do like Halloween and Bonfire night, though. I think this is how the seasons should go:
- Halloween on 15th September
- Bonfire night on 16th September
- Skip to December 1st for the Christmas Build up
- Have New Years
- Have 1 week of awesome snow
- Skip back to Spring.
What would your perfect year look like in season?