Dear Sophie, Why Were You Such A Bully?

I’m writing this post for a few reasons. One is that I’ve seen an increase in younger people reading my blog. And I remember what…

by 
sophie

I’m writing this post for a few reasons.

One is that I’ve seen an increase in younger people reading my blog. And I remember what it was like to be in my teens and how uncertain you feel in yourself.

I know how it feels to stay in unhealthy friendships because you’re scared, or look up to people who are a terrible influence because they seem popular, confident and unreachable.

Another reason is when I write posts like this, about things I’ve struggled through or lessons I’ve learnt the hard way, I get people of all ages, from all different backgrounds, saying how they went through something similar when growing up.

It’s nice to know you’re not the only one. Especially when at the time you felt isolated, confused and unable to really describe or pinpoint what was going on.

So this is the story of how I let one girl, who I’ve not spoken to in around 14 years, get so far into my head that I almost have a complete mental breakdown. It’s not as fun as the Netto song bullying story. But this story needs to be told.

And how after months of emotional manipulation, I found the courage to break free.

This post is long. But it needs to be. 

sophiepic

The Background

When I was around 14 years old, I found myself in a strange friendship group.

I had a few different groups of friends at school and seemed to float between friendship groups not really ever having a particular best friend. Then, when I was in year 9, I had somehow became part of a group.

We met up at break time, dinner time and walked home together. We started to go into the town centre on a Saturday to shop, spent time together over the summer holidays and would sometimes go to each others houses.

There were 5 of us all together, and the group dynamics were very different to anything I had every found myself in before.

You see, there was a clear leader of the group. We’re going to call her Sophie in this post, though that’s not her real name.

Sophie was a strong character. She had big brown hair, was tall, clever and confident. To me, she had that aura about her that I wish I had. I looked up to her it admiration.

She was in the top sets at school, she wanted to be a lawyer, she didn’t hold back on anything.

But you know what? Sophie, was a massive, manipulative bitch.

There are many times in my life where I want to go back and talk to my younger self and tell myself to not waste time on certain people, or to stand up to myself more and this is one of the ones that stands out the most.

I don’t know why Sophie was the way she was, but she loved to control us, she loved to manipulate, she loved to upset us.

What Sophie Did.

There are a few things that she would do, say, or even make us do. And because the rest of us were 4 unconfident girls with very different, but very real personal struggles, we let her get inside our heads and manipulate our thoughts.

Here are just a few of the key things that stand out:

The Circle Of Doom.

Every so often, at a time Sophie felt appropriate, she would make the 5 of us stand in a circle.

We then had to go around the circle and say one thing about each other that annoyed us.

Yeah, that’s right. I was forced to stand in front of four people who were supposed to be my friends, tell them things I hated about each of them and then listen to them say things they hated about me.

Sophie said this would make us stronger as everything would be out in the open. It meant we could stop doing annoying things and like each other better.

The things that Sophie hated about us were always very similar. Things like:

  • Corinne, you’re up my arse.
  • Corinne, you try and copy me.
  • Corinne, you want to be just like me and it’s annoying.
  • Corinne, you always follow me around.

What she portrayed as some sort of therapy session turned out to be a way for her to make us feel bad about ourselves, highlight our floors and feed her ego.

Four Against One.

Another thing Sophie would do was target one of us at a time and turn us all against one member of the group.

She would do this by bullying them openly and talking about them to us behind their back.

One of the occasions that stands out the most is what happened with Hazel.

Hazel went on holiday and brought us back those clown dolls that have porcelain faces and their bodies are like bean bags. She gave us one each, but Sophie’s was a slightly different colour to the rest of ours.

Shortly after this, Sophie’s Mum and dog got sick. She told us that it was because of the clown doll that Hazel gave her. It was different to everyone else’s because it was cursed. She told me in confidence that she cut the doll up and tore out its insides to make the curse go away.

I know 14-year-olds are a little nuts, but this was CRAZY.

My turn to get bullied.

Following on from the doll story, another time we were at another of the girls house. Hazel said something about someone being bad on the inside, I muttered so only the two of us could hear ‘like Hazels clown doll’.

Well, Sophie FLIPPED.

Hazel wasn’t there. She then took this opportunity to tell the rest of the group about cutting up the doll and then told me I was a bad friend for not keeping it a secret.

Sophie never just said what she wanted to say and then left it, she would go on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

At one point, she pointed to the door and said ‘GET OUT’.

It wasn’t even her house!

I started crying in front of them all and she kept asking why I was crying. What was wrong? Why was I so sad?

My Mum is better than yours.

Sophie loved her Mum. She thought her Mum was better than everyone else’s.

To emphasise this, she would say things about our parents to us.

My Mum used to save the family allowance that we got, which was about £20 a week. She would let me have this to buy clothes with. When I was 14, she would give me the money every couple of weeks and on Saturday, when we went into town, I would buy some new clothes with it.

Thinking back now, my Mum must have really trusted me to do this! But I guess she saw what I came back with so knew I was spending it on clothes I actually wore and not just rubbish. I guess it sounds like a lot, but I never got anything else, apart from on birthdays, Christmas and school uniform – so it was a way of me being responsible and knowing if I wanted a new coat from Topshop that was £50, I would have to save up for it.

Anyway, because of this, Sophie would insult my Mum by saying that she didn’t love me and would just give me money to shut me up rather than give me time and attention. Of course, I knew this wasn’t true, I’ve always felt loved by my parents, but it hurt to think that she thought that and was making the others think the same.

The Escape Plan

In year 10, me and one of the other girls, Samantha became close. We were in a lot of the same classes together and after a while, we started to talk.

It was a massive relief that we both felt the same. Over time, we had both gone from adoring Sophie to disliking her after realising she wasn’t actually this amazing, confident, smart girl. She was just a bully.

We started to pull away from her and the other remaining girl (Hazel had seen sense and left our group a few months before).

We did this in a bit of a cowardly way, you could say, but we were young and didn’t know how else to escape it.

Samantha and I were both doing GSCE textiles, so we started working during breaks and lunch. They would go to the shop, get lunch and come and sit with us. The teacher started locking the door, but you could get in by going through another classroom that had another door leading into the our class. They didn’t know. The first time it happened, we hid under the tables until they went away.

Samantha had two younger sisters who she picked up from school. Because the group of us would walk slow and the long way around, Samantha and I started walking home on our own saying we had to go pick up her sisters. We would rush out of school really quickly to avoid Sophie and her only remaining friend.

I don’t even remember what happened in the end, but after a while, we stopped talking to them all together and I became good friends with Samantha years later, even when we left school and I went to university and she started a family. I even met up with Hazel a few times after school.

Sophie often pops up in my ‘people you may know’ section on Facebook and luckily she hasn’t tried to add me as a friend.

I wouldn’t accept her anyway.

People like that don’t deserve to know me.

They don’t deserve to know you either.

Don’t let anyone treat you like shit.

If you’re being treated like shit, being manipulated or controlled by anyone, just cut that person out of your life.

Sophie brought me so much misery. She made me cry in front of her, she made me anxious and worry because I was so scared she was going to say something bad to me or hate me. I even stopped eating and lost two stone because I thought if I was thin, fragile and helpless, she wouldn’t be horrible to me because she would be able to see how weak I was already. I thought she might be nice to me out of pity. And that was better than going on at me until I cried.

This lead me to YEARS of problems with food, self-esteem, confidence and weight. Triggered by this one bully who isn’t even in my life anymore.

If you’re in a similar situation right now, it’s probably going to feel like you can’t get out because you won’t have any friends at all, or you might be scared of what they’ll say to you. Whether you’re able to remove yourself from the people or not, just remember the situation won’t be permanent and in 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, this person or this people probably won’t even be in your life anymore.

What feels like a massive deal right now, won’t matter in weeks, months or years.

beautifulday

We all have magic inside of us and we have the power to choose who we give that magic to. We need to give it to people who uplift us, inspire us and love us.

Not to people who use it to make us feel terrible about ourselves.

People like that don’t deserve to know me.

They don’t deserve to know you either

71 comments

  1. It’s a sad thing to say that bully’s are in all stages of life as well. I thought it would stop after I left school but adults can be so horrible! Proud of you for getting your story out there. I’ve wanted to do similar and I have it planned hopefully I’ll get the confidence to finish the post!
    I don’t think it matters how you got away from here. It was still brave of you I don’t think you should call it cowardly. The fact that you finally admitted it was a problem and got yourself away is the best you could’ve done!
    She kinda reminds me of Alison in PLL so I’m glad you got out of that horrible “friendship”.

    I also really love that last quote! It really is a beautiful day when they’re gone!
    😀
    xox

    Rai | utterardour.blogspot.com

    1. Yeah, adults can be horrible too! I’ve not suffered much adult bullying though, thankfully! Hope you write your post.

    2. What a great story so inspiring for you to tell it to help your younger readers.
      I got bullied for 4 years at high school and when your in that situation you don’t think your ever going to make it out but you do and experiences like this only make you stronger.
      So thank you so much for sharing your story :-).

      Andrea
      beautywithandrea36.blogspot.co.uk

  2. This is such an incredible & inspiring post! Love the quote at the end. I’m sure this will help lots of people going through similar situations xx

    bethmay75.blogspot.co.uk

  3. Hi Corinne! You were right to say that on writing our experiences like bullying will send a message to everyone that they are not the only one having the same situation. This is also a reason why I blog.

    With regards with bullying you were brave when you stay away from Sophie. I guess all of us knows one bully. We just have to be BRAVE.

  4. This post is brilliant. School can be horrible at the best of times let alone having to endure such a ‘friendship’. My school years definitely involved dodging those toxic, ‘Sophie’ characters. ‘Don’t let anyone treat you like shit’ should be plastered on every person’s pencil case at school and beyond.

    Love the message of this especially because it comes from a personal place!

    – Holly xx

    http://iblogthefashion.blogspot.co.uk

    1. You’re right, it should be plastered on peoples pencil cases! They really should touch on the subject more at school in PSE, if they even teach that still!

  5. I loved how personal and honest this was, so thank you for writing it! There are definitely times where I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that what I was going through was temporary. Hopefully this post reaches someone in a similar situation and gives them a fresh outlook on it

  6. So sad to read this, but also you’re totally right and brave to share. I was bullied so much at school, but I moved to college away from the bullies and ended up with some great friends. Then on to uni and adult life. I have to admit I’ve been the subject of a manipulative person in my 20s. Nothing too serious just made to feel sorry or guilty for a person who did not deserve it, but I came to my senses and realised I didn’t want to go back to being the 14/15 year old girl that hated life because I couldn’t be myself.
    I think this post will help so many!

    Rach // illustratedteacup.com

    1. Sorry you suffered some manipulative behaviour during your adult hood too, but I’m really glad you came to your senses. Life lesson learnt 🙂

  7. This is such an excellent blog post and SO important for lots of people, particularly young girls, to read. I think pretty much everyone has a story similar to this (I know I do – I was a bit of a doormat at school and definitely let some people treat me with a lot less respect than I deserved) and if more people were willing to be open about the stories, it might help other people to stand up to their Sophies. No matter how old you get, that are always some people who want to feel superior to others and it’s always worth losing that ‘friendship’ in favour of an easier life!

    Thank you for sharing this, maybe one day I’ll be able to write something similar.

    Hannah Simpson Writes

    1. Yeah, there are people like that of all ages, it’s sad that some people try to make themselves feel better by making others feel small and worthless.

  8. I think this is a really positive post, you’re showing people that the bully doesn’t have to control you, you can find ways to leave them and that there are usually other people who feel the same way! Keep up the amazing posts!
    Meg|www.missmegx.blogspot.co.uk

  9. This is definitely very relatable. I’m sure this shit happens way too often, and I’m definitely certain it happened to me! Why even were people like this? What did they gain? It’s a mystery. Great post.

    1. I’m not sure, but I really hope people like this look back and feel some sort of shame for how they were and learn from it. It would be awful if they go through life thinking it’s acceptable behaviour!

  10. Love this post! I had exactly the same kind of “friend” as Sophie when I was a teen and it got so bad that I didn’t believe there were actually people who wanted to be friends with me for me, not because they wanted something from me. I’m happy for you that you got out of this situation and made a good friend in the process. I also love how personal and honest this post was and I know it’s going to help a lot of people.

    1. So sorry that someone made you feel like that, being in situations like that can really mess with your mind for future friendships.

  11. She sounded horrible! I think lot of people go through some form of bullying during school and as you say, losing the ‘friends’ at the time might seem a big deal but when you look back years later you’re glad that you ended the friendship when you did.

    You always have such interesting posts 🙂

    Ami x

  12. I found myself in a similar situation at that age, but instead of picking on my whole friendship group, this individual decided to come into our close knit group and slowly and manipulatively push me out until I had no one, not even those who I thought were my friends. The best thing I ever did was leave, and now through social media I can see karma has worked its magic and everything has caught up to her. Its so sad to know this happens so often, but thank you for turning this into such a positive post that will hopefully raise some awareness! Tavi xx

    Getupmakeupdressup.blogspot.co.uk

    1. It’s kind of satisfying to know that karma works it’s magic! I’m a big believe in if you put negative energy out in the world, it will one day come back and hit you!

  13. I do not like people that bully especially in front of me it does not matter if they do it to someone I know or someone I do not know I will step in and put a stop to it. Is one of those thing I cannot tolerate and watch it happen in front of me and not stand up to put a stop to it. I believe if you stop a bully in their tracks others will think twice because they will know no one is going to tolerate it. I call those bully insecure pathetic jealous people that have to feel better by knocking others.

  14. I had a story very similar to this except it went on for nearly all of high school and I was pretty much the one they chose to pick on. Honestly though finally binning them was the best thing I ever did, it took years for me to move on from and even now I’m still working on my self confidence as a result. My school described it as “girlish bitching” and refused to help me and I so wish when I was younger there was literally anyone there to tell me that it wasn’t normal and I didn’t have to put up with it.
    The main girl actually ran into me once on a night out and tried hugging me and saying how she missed me. My response was incredibly rude but it felt awesome not to be dragged back in.

  15. My experience was slightly different, but girls like this impacted my life greatly, for years afterwards, and sometimes I feel I’m still battling with some of the mess they left behind. Probably without even noticing. I think I will never not be at least slightly bitter towards them, but life moves on, I guess. Nonetheless, I wish there would have been more posts like this ten years ago, so I’m really glad to have seen this pop up in my TL. Great, great post! I hope some of your young readers can read this and find the strength to move on from people like this. It is possible and there is way too many awesome people out there to linger in these situations.

  16. wow, well done for posting. I had totally the opposite, I was the excluded one, the loner, who was not part of any group or gang. I used to wish I was, used to look with envy at the groups of 4 or 5 girls who were BFF’s all the way through school, who did cool stuff stuff together after school and at weekend. I guess being part of a BFF group just looked cool, but seeing now how toxic they can be, I’m kinda glad was the loner. Big hugs

  17. Been there when I was younger and I’m currently trying to get rid of one right now, it’s been 6 months maybe longer and I still ignore her texts, friends are supposed to uplift each other, not bring you down. Great post!

    Pauline x

  18. Good on you for writing this. Those toxic friendships are horrible and so destructive, especially when you’re a teenager because your friends are so important to you. I had a close friend in secondary school who, with hindsight, was an absolute nightmare but it’s so hard to see it at the time. I definitely would not want to be 15 again!

    Liz x
    Distract Me Now Please

  19. Oh my, you have literally described my life, like seriously! I was in EXACTLY the same situation. I really like how you’ve posted about this for your younger readers. Petty social exclusion sucks especially during school years where you’re forced to endure it, but come later life when you can just cut people out – is the.best.feeling.EVER

    http://www.stylesunrise.co.uk

    x

  20. I had a similar experience at school. People who were meant to be my friends bullied me, laughed at me and made me feel like I was only there to be picked on. When I tried to leave they’d make a point of finding me and doing it again. But silly me thought they were my friends because I was young and naive. Luckily at college I had the sense to stay away from them and haven’t spoken to them since but it still gets to me sometimes. These people are horrible people and not worth anyone’s time. Sometimes it’s good to get it out in the open and I feel it makes you a stronger person at the end but no one should be bullied.

    Xx

  21. This is a really inspiring post! Certain people can be dreadful, especially in school. I love the cloud simile, I think it sums it up really well!

    Jemima x
    anotherrantingreader.blogspot.co.uk

  22. Well done for writing this- if one young person who is feeling this way (and I bet there are THOUSANDS!) read this,it would help!
    I think the way you got out the ‘friendship’ was ok-that’s what I’d have done!x

  23. Omg she sounds like such a horrible person! To make you stand there in front of all your friends and say something you hated about each other is out of order, no one should ever be put in that situation especially when its regarding your own friends. She sounds so jealous and so insecure. Im so glad you got away from it! xx

  24. Gosh I used to know someone so much like this I can’t believe there are so many people out there like this. It’s sad because there must be a deep seated reason that they feel the need to do things like that but that’s definitely no excuse to treat people like this! Well done for sharing your story, I’m sure it’ll help a lot of people particularly if you are getting younger readers.
    Amy xx
    Call Me Amy

  25. A well written post, unfortunately there are bullies at all stages of our lives. Generally they are people who feel rubbish and insecure about their own existence and take it out on someone else. When you are being bullied it is very difficult to see a way out and rising above it takes a huge amount of strength Lucy x

  26. OMG, what a horrid girl she was! I’m so sorry that you went through that, Corinne, unbelievable but good on you for realizing what a negative person she was. 🙁

  27. I’m guessing that “Sophie” was deeply unhappy, so took it out on others to make herself feel better. No excuse for it though and I’m glad that you realized and found some nicer friends

  28. I think everyone had a ‘Sophie’ – I even had one when I was 21 studying for my MA but jumped ship a lot sooner learning from my school days and ended up with absolutely no friends. But I’d rather have been in that situation than continue miserably being a sheep to her. Such a well written piece by the way, this had me hooked! x

    Viva Epernay

  29. This was a really good read, thank you. It must have been hard to write, it brought back some memories about female relationships I’d forgot about. Teenage years are so hard, people try to make themselves feel better in any way they can, for some people that means being controlling. Good to see you got out of the other side.

  30. You’re brave for sharing your story. Even though a good deal of time has passed since it happened, it still can’t be easy to bring up such unhappy memories. It’s a good thing you had Samantha and you were both able to pull away from Sophie.

  31. I wonder how would Sophie react when she read this. haha. I have been bullied for years too when I was a preteen. Probably cuz I’m shy and quiet and an easy target. Well, guess who’s laughing now, they were expelled in high school.

  32. Such an amazing post! Thank you so much for sharing! It truly is amazing how “friends” can be so controlling! They must be unhappy with their own lives, if they’re bullying everyone around them!

  33. This is an amazing post Corinne, I got bullied terribly by some bitchy girls who were supposed to be my friends at school. It really affects you, and I felt the effects for years and years afterwards. This has inspired me to think about my own story as I really wish I’d had someone older to tell me it will be OK at the time!

    xxx

  34. Do you know how many people will relate to this? So many. School has such a weird dynamic and the bullies are always seem to be top dog until you realise later in life, they are just nasty people. My heart goes out to you that you had such a toxic person putting u down 🙁 well done for writing this, it is brave because you relived it for us and came out stronger xx

  35. Yes, “some people are like clouds, when they disappear, it’s a beautiful day”. I think the start of a new year brings the need to get rid of old baggage. Today I was working on a list of things/people to let go of, especially the guilt associated with these people.

  36. There’s always one.

    While these experiences are a nightmare when we look back on them, and hopefully no one else will need to endure such douche-baggery, I think they’re so important to learn from. Sure, you didn’t know how to be assertive enough to say, ‘look mate, just stop yeah? You’re being a bit of an arse and we won’t be friends much longer if you act like a total bellend’ but hopefully now you can see a pattern of behaviour which means you’ll never let anyone demean you or shatter self-worth again.

    Or something. I dunno, I’ve always been one to be quite open with how I feel – if I don’t like how someone acts they’ve always been at the receiving end of a block button or the palm of my hand, but I totally understand how others may fear the social isolation that might arise from telling someone they’re acting like a psycho.

    Hope you manage to avoid dreaded Sophie for as long as you can. She sounds demented.

  37. Thanks for sharing this. It’s such a shame that so many people, mainly girls it seems, have these awful relationships in school, and it’s incredible the long lasting impact it can have on your self esteem. I guess because it’s the first time you’ve encountered behaviour like this, so you just don’t see it at first, and then you’re unsure how to tackle it. As you get older it’s easier to recognise bullying behaviour and just step away from that person, without letting it have the same emotional impact. I’m in my thirties now, and would say I only truly got over my school relationship issues in the last few years.

  38. This is a fantastic post and so important. I had my own Sophie, I guess most of us do. That little witch did so much damage to me and others at the young age of 12 that it took me years to sort out my self esteem. When I was young, there was no such concept as bullying or awareness. It was “kids will be kids” or “gee, kids can be mean”. But you were expected to suck it up or tough it out. The bullied kids were considered tattle tales or babies by the adults, and it was common belief that a little bullying would just toughen you up for Life. Considering I still think of this girl nearly four decades later and get angry about what I had to endure, I’m so glad there are posts like this and people like you fighting for awareness.

  39. I would love to go back and tell my younger self that everything her so called friends are doing to her really doesn’t matter and one day she will grow up, get away from them and all will be ok. Things that happened in secondary school really fucked me up too. I tried to forgive these people once, but when we met up as adults, everything they had done to me was just one huge joke. They weren’t sorry at all and that really sucked.

    Some people are just bitches, and Sophie sounds like one of them!

    Sarah 🙂

  40. Very well written post! I had a similar situation in school with bullies and I did try avoid school back then. I did tell teachers and my parents and it made life so much easier.

    Melissa |

  41. Love this post so much <3 And I feel like I've met a few 'Sophie's in my time, but luckily not been around them long enough to let it truly affect me. What a cunt! xx

  42. This is horrible, but really great to share. I hope there are some younger readers here who can use this information to help themselves now. I wouldn’t say my situation in school was anywhere near as bad as yours, but I do think that a lot of my self-confidence and speaking out issues are down to one girl. She was a high maintenance friend (but my best friend of course), and every little thing you said or did was scrutinised, and if she didn’t like it she wouldn’t talk to you. Took me a while to realise that I shouldn’t and didn’t have to deal with that kind of person!

  43. this resonated with me on so many levels, I was bullied so badly as a teen that I didn’t know how to make friends in adulthood, I’m 30 now and have only really learned how to open up, and make friends again, but right in my 20’s I just didn’t think I would make friends because it was so in my head that no one would like me, so posts like these are so important.

  44. Great post, and I think you’re so inspiring and brave for sharing your own story. If more people spoke up about their own experiences with bullying, be it being bullied or being the bully, perhaps the younger generation coming up now would be able to see why it’s not okay to accept that behaviour, or behave that way. xo

  45. I’m really proud of you for sharing this post – I think we all have some sort of Sophie who years on still manages to manifest into our minds and make us think terribly about ourselves. For me, I was a target as my Mum was in a wheelchair – they had some wonderful names/slurs. Thankfully, I’ve grown into a bigger and better person than most of them combined – and you are better than Sophie. You are an accomplished, beautiful young woman.

    She’s nothing now.

  46. This is such a great post! I never got why people felt the need to be bullies. It made growing up so horrible. Honestly, I didn’t even confront my bullies until 11th grade and I felt so much better after that.
    XO Diana |

  47. Circle of doom are you shitting me! I thought that stuff was purely confined to hollywood! So glad you managed to extract yourself and it’s a shame the consequences you suffered! Good on you for highlighting your plight. xxx

  48. I was in a similar situation myself and it’s crazy to think at that time in our lives, we think we’re the only ones going through something like, when in reality SO many people are going through the same thing. Looking back I wish I had stood up for myself, but it’s made me who I am today!

  49. Wow, such an inspiring and brave post!! Thank you for sharing your hard story and I’m really glad you managed to break free of what sounds like an awful girl! Well done for being so strong Corinne xx

    Amy • Blog | Bloglovin’ | Instagram

  50. Well done for sharing your story, I was also bullied at school and still bare the scars despite a whole manner of treatment. It’s crazy how some girls can act and also what we let them do to us. I’m glad you managed to get away from it and her and can help others by sharing your story.

  51. I honestly can’t believe you were made to stand in a circle and openly tell each other what you hated about each other. That Sophia girl sounds like someone you make horror movies from.. one thing getting worse than the other. Thank god you found Samantha! I was, too, bullied but it was never so bad. It was just the occasional snotty comment about the way i looked but eventually these bullies became friends when they realised what they said didn’t affect me. Sorry for rambling on!x

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  54. Wow this post brought up so many memories that I thought I had buried. I left school 10 years ago now and I am shocked how the stuff that went on still affects me.

    Love your posts, I sometimes feel we could be the same person, you are however a lot more intelligent!

  55. The things that went on with my school still, and will continue to effect me forever. I’ve found an amazing group of friends that I’m comfortable with and feel incredibly happy around. No one should have to go through this x

    Rebecca | staticnova.blogspot.co.uk

  56. Wow this post was so honest and emotional, good on you for being able to talk about it so openly and learn from it and glad you realised what ‘Sophie’ was like and got out whilst you could. The things she did to you and your friends is so hideous and at such a young age too. I was lucky that my friendship group wasn’t like that and we’ve remained friends up til now too, although in sixth form I had a toxic friend seperate from them, I used to appreciate how outspoken she was and knew she would always be straight up and honest with me about things, but that soon changed to just being down right insulting and tearing me down, which even though I was warned by others that she wasn’t a good person, especially as she told me one of my best friends had said things about me and told this friend that I’d said things about her which resulted in us not properly speaking for about a year until I eventually confronted the good friend and we both realised the toxic friend had purposefully made shit up and caused a rift to split up our friendship, it took me a while to see it for myself but the same as you, I got the hell out of that friendship as soon as I saw it for myself. She ended up latching onto someone else and when they saw the light they got out of it too, she never changed. Luckily now I’m not a pushover and I know I can defend myself and fight back if someone tries to be horrible and I definitely think if I could go back in time I would tell my younger self to stick up for myself more. But I agree, definitely don’t let anyone treat you like shit, life is too short so spend it with those who care about you and make you happy 🙂 Thanks for sharing this Corinne!

  57. I went through something very similar when I was around that age. I think buffy may have had an impact on the crazy stuff we had to go through. It’s awful to read what others go through, bet this was hard to write xx

    Tamz | http://www.throughneweyesx.com

  58. This is a brilliant post. It’s great that you’re using your blog to put out a strong, positive message to young girls who may not know if they should or shouldn’t leave a friendship group.

    It’s a difficult situation to be in, but you’ve put it into perspective, and it’s a great read!

  59. Pingback: To Bully or Be Bullied – Forever Kimberley
  60. Well written! To be honest & personal is what I LOVE in a blog post. That is what I try to make my blog all about true life storied that others can relate to and gain encouragement from!

    Thank you for sharing this, I have been in these type of situations more than once & it is just recently that I learned how to cut those toxic people out of my life 🙂

    I love your blog! Keep these post up please

    Nikki O. |

  61. Such a powerfully honest post. It’s incredible what we put up with when we’re younger. Thanks for sharing.

  62. Well done about speaking out about this. Bullying can have such a huge impact on a person for so many years which is so sad. The more we speak out about it then the weaker the bullies become. I was bullied as an adult at work and I still feel sick when I think about it. xx

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