‘N-E-T-T-O, that’s where all the scrubbers go! NETTO!’ Remember the Netto song anyone?
For those of you that don’t know, Netto is a discount supermarket chain. Basically, everything there was SUPER CHEAP. And if it came out at school that your parents shopped at Netto, you were picked on for the rest of your life. I have no idea if this was just a Doncaster thing, or if it was across the country, but there was nothing worse at my high school than being dubbed a Netto Shopper. Using a Netto bag was social suicide in highschool terms and you would get the Netto song chanted at you for weeks!
Oh wow, that seems so strange now. If you shopped in a supermarket that sold things cheaper than the likes of Tesco, Morrisons, Sainsbury’s or Asda, you were deemed a poor scruffy person and quite frankly, you would have the totally utter piss taking out of you.
You know what?
MY PARENTS SHOPPED AT NETTO.
There. I said it.
Not all the time, but my Dad loved their own brand lemonade and you could get some branded stuff for cheaper than the other supermarkets. They also went to Kwiksave, Sainsbury’s and sometimes Asda to shop around.
Oh, I was such a brat about the Netto thing. At school, it was common to hear people accuse others of being a dirty Netto shopper or to hear soandso saying they saw soandso’s Mum with a Netto bag.
I don’t think it helped that their bags were either bright yellow or bright blue, you can spot a Netto bag from a mile off.
When we went shopping, I used to refuse to go inside Netto and sit in the car. I’d tell my parents how much I hated Netto, hoping they would shop somewhere else for the sake of my reputation. I would say it had a dog for the logo because it’s dog shit dog shit Netto.
They didn’t stop shopping at Netto though. Because they’re clearly really selfish.
Obviously, I never told any of my friends this. I’d laugh along to others joking about Netto shoppers and hope my secret would never be revealed.
The day my life ended.
One day, I had a couple of friends over. My parents had gone out and we were watching TV. For some reason, they were in the kitchen and they both came running in with a bottle of lemonade, laughing and pointing at the little Netto logo on it.
I died. My life was over.
They told EVERYONE.
This was because they weren’t actually my real friends, they were a right pair of dickheads. I found out not long after that they were apparently using me because my parents let me have friends at our house and in my room, but their parents didn’t. But that’s another story. Just a couple of the many people that made me feel really wonderful about myself, just like Sophie. What a set of cowbags.
Anyway, so yes, they told everyone that my parents shopped at Netto and my life was over.
I was so terrified of going to school the next day, apparently the popular kids knew and one came outside my house and shouted NETTO SHOPPER really loud. So loud that they said my Dad looked out of the curtains to see what was going on.
But thankfully nobody said anything to my face. It was all gossip done behind my back. I’m not sure if that’s worse or not.
Now, it’s 15 years later and shops like Aldi and Lidl are so popular and I wonder if people in school get picked on nowadays for the same thing.
Kids are really stupid, aren’t they?
Kids at my school would also get laughed at and picked on for numerous other things. Like if they wore unbranded tracksuit bottoms, or those two stripped or four striped version of Adidas poppers and generally, if you didn’t own a pair of £120 Rockports.
All these things meant that you weren’t cool.
Was there any thing at your school that would get you picked on?
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