I’m the type of person that worries obsessively about what people think about me.
Oh, I know that sounds a bit cliche. I’m pretty sure almost everyone thinks they worries obsessively about what people think about them. Just like how almost everyone thinks they’re over-sensitive, or random, or fat or awkward or not confident or scatty. Even if they aren’t.
So lately I’ve been worried about how much I worry about what others think about me.
And it’s exhausting.
I have nightmares about it and I struggle to focus on work because my mind goes to that dark place and it makes it impossible to get things done.
I’m re-reading Dale Carnegie’s How To Stop Worrying and Start Living and trying to take a stand to get over myself.
I’m tired of being unable to get myself to be productive and to enjoy my life because I always find myself overthinking even the most insignificant event and punishing myself over it.
Here’s some things I like to do and remind myself of to keep the worry at bay.
1. Remember people are just.. people.
The thought of someone disliking me or saying bad things about me behind my back makes me sick to my stomach.
To say it makes me feel sad is just not enough. It makes me feel like that wilted rose emoji on MSN messenger. Back when emojis were called smilies and you put them in brackets. (w) 
But, yanno. They’re just humans. And humans are going to bitch, whether you’ve done something wrong or not.
If someone wants to be negative and horrible, then let them be negative and horrible. Because while they’re busy drowning in hate, you’re out there being the best human you can. High five.
2. The Dr Pepper theory.
What’s the worst that could happen?
If you’re worried that someone is talking about you, ask yourself what is the worst thing that can happen?
It’s not going to hurt you, it’s not going to make you ill or make you die.
So they might influence a few other people to think bad things about you. And their thoughts also cannot hurt you.
That’s what negative people do. They want to collect other humans and make them think the same as them, so they can all sit in a big group being negative about other people. Because focusing on one persons flaws distracts from their own. It makes them feel safe, included and like people are on their side.
We’re probably all done it. I know I have. And I try my best to stand by morals and let things go, rather than being that type of person.
The only think I can say is let them.
3. Believe in karma.
While at school, we’re taught about karma during Religious Studies. If you’re good, you’ll be re-born better off than you’re current life. If you’re bad, you’ll be a spider or a slug or something else shit.
I don’t think you have to wait as long.
If you’re an honest, trust worthy, helpful positive person, then good things will come to you. Because people pick up on that stuff and people like those type of people.
If someone is negative, gossips and backstabs, then eventually things will come around to them. Because people pick up on stuff like that. It might not be instant. But one day someone will call them out on it, or someone of influence will see their negativity, or they’ll gain a reputation for being a plain old meanie.
Just decide what type of person you want to be and focus on what you can control.
4. Avoid nasty people.
If you’re able to cut the people who are causing you this stress out of your life, then do it. Stay away from them and never look back.
If it’s a work colleague or family member, it’s not that simple. The best thing to do is stay professional. Be polite when you need to talk to them but keep your distance.
I’m not a fan of keeping your friends close and your enemies closer, because it feels too much like you’re having to be nice to someone that is basically a massive dick.
Your aim is to give them as little reason to talk about you as possible.
5. Be your best self.
We’re emotive creatures that sometimes react without thinking. And we all make mistakes. But that doesn’t make us horrible.
Aim to be the best version of yourself you can be and let they way you see yourself be determined on how much you stick to your values and morals, rather than what other people think.
6. Evaluate your day.
Being going to bed, I like to go through my day and see if there’s anything I would do different.
Is there anything I reacted to badly, is there anything horrible I said that didn’t need to be said, was there anything I should have done that I didn’t..
I’m not going to lie, it can hurt your heart a little to think about things you’ve done that now cause you guilt.
Did you snap at someone? Did you lose your tempter and talk about someone behind their back? Did you not treat someone how you would like to be treated? Did you lie?
It gives me a real sense of things I can do to grow and in turn, be my best self and concern myself less with others feelings towards me.
I’m hoping that telling myself these things will help me realise that
1. People will talk about me, regardless of how nice I am.
2. I just need to be the best me I can.
Do you have any tips to help you stop worrying about what others think?
Very inspiring and true post!! Thanks for sharing. I’ve never cared about the bad things people say about me. Live and let live <3
http://www.thestylishbipolar.com
Very inspirational. It’s an everyday struggle to focus on the opinions that actually count.
Ah I really needed a post like this! I’m the same as you and I worry way too much. If I suspect someone doesn’t like me I often find I can’t even talk around them because I’m so afraid of somehow making them dislike me more. But really it’s their problem and not mine! Thanks so much for this post! 🙂 xx
Haha, I have that feeling too, like I don’t want to give them more ammo!
Great post! Really needed this tight now x
Great read. I think not caring about what other people think is one of the best things you can do for yourself – you stop stressing and you can start to just live and enjoy life.
http://skylish.co.uk
This is such a great and inspirational post! Putting all these thing into practice can be tough, but once you get over the first hurdle and just surround yourself by positive things you think about it less 🙂 Althugh Corinne, I definitely can’t see why anyone would talk ill of you, you’re so lovely 🙂 xx
I can be a dick. Trust me.
This is such a lovely post and I loved the mention of MSN ‘smilies’ haha! In the past few years I really have learnt not to care. As you’ve said, people are always going to talk and the best way is to just cut them out (if you can). It’s up to them how they want to be, but just focus on being your happiest self 🙂
http://www.stylesunrise.co.uk
x
You’ve learnt that lesson young. I’m jealous!
Omg! I needed this post so much. I’m such an anxious person, I even think I have social anxiety. I can’t get things done cuz I overthnk a lot. I have to do something tomorrow but I’m so scared. This post makes me have courage and thanks for mentioning the book. I will read it.
Oh no, if you think you have some form of anxiety then you should go to the doctor for sure!
I really do not put to much focus what others think I continue being me and accepting that we cannot please everybody.
I love the name “The Dr Pepper Theory”.
Lizzie Dripping
Haha. I thought it was clever 🙂
Interesting post, I worry about the same often when really I didn’t need too. I go to God in prayer when I feel worriedand often times it helps more than if I hadn’t. Thanks for sharing!
Rachel xo
Garay Treasures
It’s great that you know what makes me feel better!
I love this! I too struggle with this issue. It is hard to let go and just stop caring!
Melanie @ meandmr.com
such a lovely, inspiring post! great tips 😀 xoxo
You really are an inspiration :). Thank you for this post, worrying what other people think of me has been getting me really down lately and this helped a lot.
Thanks, I’m glad it helped you.
Can’t argue with these. I hope for your sake that these tips help you, I know how much it can drive you mad caring what people think, I used to be the same but then suddenly woke up one day and realised I didn’t give a shit anymore haha!
Sharon x
You’re my hero
I 100% agree.. when i was much younger, people’s opinion and perception of me totally made me insecure but as I grew more mature, I think I’ve learned how to just listen to opinions that actually matter and filter out those that are just plain negative.
have a great week!
Animated Confessions
I’m glad you’ve learnt that lesson! It’s a hard one to get I think!
Such a lovely post! I am always worried about what people think of me! I’m going to try some of your tips!
Not everyone will like you is something that your parents don’t teach you but they should. It might be easier to get over if you understood this from an early age. I think as you get older you care less. You have given some good tips Lucyx
Yeah, I think parents are more likely to give that message nowadays though!
Aw this is the best advise! Thanks for sharing this lovely post! I have a big problem with the people think.. unfortunately..
xx
cvetybaby.com
This was such a great read Corinne. The amount of times I’ve let someone influence my day on account of worrying about what they think! I decided to do what you’re doing just cut them out because people who respect you won’t view the bad in you! & karma does often get back to them 🙂
Serene xoxo
http://www.imserenel.wordpress.com
Great post Corinne, these all sound like really practical tips. Now I just need to put them into practice 🙂
You and me both!
Great idea for a post Corinne. That’s a great idea to evaluate your day. I believe in karma and I also think much more nowadays of so what? If I’ve done or said something I shouldn’t then I shouldn’t dwell on it, there is nothing that can be changed, just change the way I respond in the future. 🙂 x
Dwelling can really make the heart heavy!
really nice post!!
http://www.fashi0n-m0de.blogspot.it
Thank you for this post!
No problem 🙂
LOVE THIS POST! I absolutely agree with the “be your best self.” There’s absolutely nothing more relaxing than being the best you can be.
Connie | Sponsored by Coffee | Bloglovin’
I’ve never really given much thought to what others think. It might be an Aquarius thing. It’s not something that we can control so I’d rather focus on myself.
I do try not to waste too much time thinking about things I can’t control!
its often so hard though isn’t it? I like to think I don’t care but a lot of the time I still really do.
Yeah, I wonder if it’s a case of fake it until you make it though?
Super post!! Honestly, I don’t really care what people say about me, because they will never say it to my face and they don’t make my life what it is, I am who I am. Growing up I tried caring and it made me miserable, so as a teenager, I just gave it up and was happier. And it just got stronger as I got older. We only have one life and it’s much better to have spent learning to be yourself and not think of what others think and be happy than to be locked in chains that keep you from doing the things you enjoy because of fear of what might be said by others that have contribute nothing to one’s life. It’s about freedom in yourself and not letting yourself be chained up by others!! xx
You’re right, it has come easier with age but I still have a way to go, for sure.
Ah you’ve got nothing to worry about Corinne, you’re fan-bloody-tastic! 🙂
I don’t really give a shit what people think of me, it’s just so much easier! You’re right about trying to be a good person, but we’re only human and can’t be perfect all the time!
As long as you look after those who love and care for you then life is pretty easy! 🙂
xxx
It can be hard to not care about what people think. It’s one of the things that keep me awake at night for sure!
everyone in the world needs to read this
check out my newest post
xx
Tyana
cityofglitter.com
I loved this post! Exactly what I needed to hear. I posted something similar the other day on my blog, feck people!
this is my problem too ….im always cautious about what others think about me …
I think it’s a given with anxiety that I am constantly thinking that people are talking about me or have an opinion about me. With my current situation, I don’t smile often because.. well, I don’t have a good reason really. I know I gravitate towards positive people, but somehow I can’t emulate them as easily. Definitely something I need to work on.
Thank you for this. I am very particular about what others think about me. :))
Let’s follow each other
xoxo,
http://www.ricadayag.blogspot.com/
This post is so helpful and lovely! Nice work 🙂 I will definitely follow up on these tips.
Jess
http://springbaby06.blogspot.com
xx
This is all very good advice – I hope I can do a good job of taking it!
I SO needed to read this. I’ve been having the worst time at work over people being nasty, and you are so right. I just have to keep practicing these tips, and HOPEFULLY over time, I’ll be able to not pay too much attention over things like these. Thanks for sharing these!
If you are a normal person with feelings, I think you are sensitive to what others think of you. The older I get, the less I care. When I was in my 20s it was a real worry. But I think it’s just part of life to worry or wonder what others are thinking.
Thank you for this post…massively cheered me up and made me feel better as I’ve just had a mini breakdown this morning from a family member whos just decided to waltz round my house and start telling me what i was doing wrong and how much better they’d be doing than me when they have a baby. X
Amy x x
https://beautybox410.blogspot.co.uk
Thank you. If I do not respond to all, it is I thought it was love. Really a good person becouse in the mind is seen, maybe had not been determined by the wolds. Say when you turn off, the mind is pain. I I do not go and do not I taste a lot of pain to say go on.
mistake. sorry
Brilliant post Corinne. I think what you are doing is the best way forward. Nobody needs people like that in their lice. Good for you for standing up firm to them. Bullies never like s confident person, so shown the confidence and keep your head high.
What a great post and one I probably need reminding of every day. I worry about what people think of me and it stops me doing things. You are right. Well said lovely x