Like how we all think we’re socially awkward. Or weird. Or random.
I hate when people refer to themselves as random the most. You’re not random, you’re just a dick.
I don’t know if it’s because of my age and the age of my friends. I mean, I am at that age where it is time to get your shit together and I’m getting a bit panicked that all my friends have husbands and kids and I can’t even get a boy to put up with me for more than three dates. Or is this not adulting thing is just the new cliche?
You see it everywhere.
‘I don’t want to adult today’.
‘Adulting is hard’.
I feel like everyone around me is like NOOOOOOOO to being a responsible person. Everyone is refusing to acknowledge their true age. That they are legally an adult with responsibilities, with bills to pay and such.
Oh, me too. I’m one of the worst ones for it.
I’ll be the firs to say stuff like ‘I can’t get a cat because I can’t even feed myself lolololol’. Or Tweet that I’m having sweet potato fries for breakfast because SCREW BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT.
I actually had sweet potato fries at 10am this morning because I was too lazy to make myself dinner last night. See. I don’t just say these things, I live the values, too.
There are times at work when I stop and think, oh no – I’m currently in charge of this really big supermarket and all the customers and all the people working here. I have to make all the decisions and sort out all the problems if something goes wrong.
I swing between phases of:
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL who decided I was up for this task? SUCKAS.
I actually have no idea what I’m doing. I just hope nobody dies.
But I think I know why I’m constantly putting down my life and how I function.
It’s because I’m embarrassed how my life has turned out. How it has turned out different to…. to most peoples? To my brothers, my cousins, my families, my school friends.
When you’re younger, you think of growing up. You imagine a good job where you are liked. You imagine a husband and children. You imagine buying a house with a big garden.
You look at adults and they seem kind of boring. Do you remember that? How boring adults seemed? Visiting a family friend and having to sit and listen to them mumble on was the worst.
But now I’m an adult and my friends are funny as fuck. Hell, I’m as funny as fuck! So I don’t know what happened with the adults back then, this generation is either nuts, or our perception of things change as we grow.
So, back to the point.
I think I’m just a bit ashamed of not having all these things. A relationship, kids, a house. I feel far behind. My brothers are all married and have 4 children each.
So what I do is I take the mess out of my life because it makes me feel better.
You know like when you have a massive spot and you tell people you have a massive spot so they know you know and you know they know that they know and then it doesn’t feel like it’s the elephant in the room.
That’s what I’m doing. But with my loser life.
My name is Corinne. I had sweet potato fries and tomato soup for breakfast. I’m 30 years old and last night I played Xbox and drank a bottle of wine and now I’m hungover.
I have no responsibilities apart from paying my bills, rent and getting to work on time. Other than that, I do what I want.
It’s a bit pants that I feel proper shit about living my life how I want it. I mean, it’s not like I’ve chosen to be single and childless – it just kind of never worked out for me. But does that mean I should be embarrassed of it?
I don’t know.
But I think that’s why I walk around declaring myself as a rubbish adult, never wanting to grow up and being an irresponsible mess.
Because people probably think it, anyway. So I might as well say it.