Many parents in the UK are concerned about the amount of time their young children spend on digital devices. Did you know that over 25% of kids aged three and four own a smartphone, and half of those under 13 are on social media?
I don’t talk much about my own four-year-old on the internet, because I’m big on children having privacy and not having their lives public for all to see.. But I will say that 18 months ago, we went screen-free. And it changed his behavoir and ability to be present completely. He’s much calmer now, he can play by himself for extended periods of time, and we can even go out for meals where he’ll happily sit with a sticker book. Trying to find a healthy balance and moderating screen time was not an option for us, as my child would get instantly addicted after exposure. I’m not saying all children are unable to moderate their screen time, and my only experience is with this one child, but if you’re worried your child might be using screens too much, it might be time to go screen-free in your household.
Because of the stark change in my child’s behaviour, I wanted to use my platform to encourage others to go screen-free.
I’m going to share some of the adverse effects of screen time and offer some tips on how I went screen-free with my own son.
Negative Effects of Excessive Screen Time
Impact on Mental Health and Emotional Wellbeing
High children’s screen time can affect their mental health in many ways. In the UK, young people under seven who use screens a lot face higher risks of attention and hyperactivity problems.
More hours on gadgets like mobile phones and video games are linked to lower feelings of social acceptance in older children. Loneliness also rises, with some feeling left out or less confident about themselves after prolonged periods of screen usage or scrolling through social media.
A recent study discovered a clear connection between high digital media use and depression among school-aged children.
Many experts have observed that using devices as a means to calm children can delay their development of emotional regulation skills. Kids miss out on real-time human interaction, which is vital for healthy brain development during the early years.
The World Health Organisation points out the strong association between excessive screen time and depressive symptoms. “Prolonged use of electronic devices leads to negative effects on young people’s wellbeing,” fits what parents and health professionals see today.
Less physical activity also means kids spend more hours inside, which often makes them feel disconnected from family members and friends outside the digital world.
Disrupted Sleep Patterns and Fatigue
Many younger children in the UK stay up late using smartphones, tablets, or television. Screens give off blue light that tricks the brain into thinking it is still daytime. This makes falling asleep harder and can mess up natural sleep patterns.
Children who do not get enough rest often feel tired at school and struggle to focus, which negatively impacts their cognitive development and academic performance.
The NHS recommends that older children have no more than two hours of screen time per day to help prevent sleep issues. The World Health Organisation warns that children under two years old should spend no time on screens, as early exposure increases the risk of sleep disturbances and fatigue.
Busy parents sometimes let kids use electronic media right before bed as a quick fix, but this leads to even more disrupted rest. Less outdoor play and lower physical activity also make bedtime routines challenging for primary school-age groups; they may end up tired all day from a lack of quality sleep.
Delayed Cognitive and Language Development
Excessive screen use is associated with a steady decline in speech and language development among preschool children. In recent years, experts like Sandy Chapell, a leading speech and language therapist, have seen an increase in referrals for delayed language skills.
Children often pick up words from screens but struggle to express their basic needs during real-time, face-to-face interactions with others.
Spending too much time on mobile devices or watching television takes away from important social interaction and play that build the developing brain. Without enough chance to talk with parents or friends in the outside world, kids miss out on key moments needed for healthy cognitive growth and strong communication skills.
This negative impact has become clear as more parents of children under five seek help for these concerns across the UK.
Physical Health Concerns
Increased Sedentary Behaviour and Obesity Risk
Sitting in front of a screen for hours means less time spent on physical activity. Children today often swap outdoor play and physical activities for computer use, television, and other screen-based activities.
Researchers from the Oxford Internet Institute link this change to increased sedentary behaviour in young children. Health Professionals for Safer Screens suggest no screen time at all for those aged 0 to 2 years.
For ages 2 to 5, they recommend just 30 minutes per day. They warn that even small increases can have detrimental effects on health.
More time online or watching TV leads to a higher risk of obesity in early childhood. A lack of movement makes it difficult to burn off the energy from food, allowing weight to pile on quickly. Disrupted sleep patterns caused by excessive screen media can also increase the risk of obesity over time; tired children tend to move less during the day, exacerbating the issue.
Parents are encouraged to establish clear boundaries around screen use and set a good example by modelling positive habits themselves. Yes, that means putting your phone down while around your children! We’re all guilty of it.
Social skills development slows down when social activities are reduced due to excessive screen use, rather than engaging in outdoor play with friends or family members.
Strain on Eyesight and Vision Problems
Children who use screens may start having trouble focusing or experience blurry images, which can lead to vision problems. Excessive screen time also increases the risk of digital eye strain, which can cause discomfort and headaches.
Parents should watch for signs that their child is struggling with their eyes. These signs include rubbing eyes frequently or squinting while using devices. Screen time limits can help reduce these issues.
Social and Behavioural Challenges
Reduced Face-to-Face Social Interaction
Excessive screen time reduces face-to-face social interaction, which is crucial for learning emotional cues and developing communication skills.
Many children now rely on screens for entertainment. As a result, they have fewer chances to engage with others in real life. Studies show a decline in speech and language development among preschool kids who spend too much time on screens.
High screen use before the age of seven can lead to attention and hyperactivity issues later on. These problems impact social skills and emotional regulation, making it challenging for children to connect with their peers.
Impaired Social Skills and Emotional Regulation
Reduced face-to-face social interaction leads to problems with social skills and emotional regulation in children. Children under seven years old are especially affected, facing attention and hyperactivity issues later on.
More screen time often means lower feelings of social acceptance for older kids. They may feel lonelier and have lower self-esteem due to fewer genuine connections in real life. Experts have also noted that excessive screen use can impact speech and language development, making it more challenging for children to express their thoughts and emotions effectively.
Strong social skills are essential for healthy relationships as individuals grow up; lacking these skills now can lead to long-term challenges in life.
How I cut out screentime with my own child
Screen time never sat right for me. I often felt guilty for letting my child watch TV, even if it was only for a short time. We struggled to turn it off, and it would lead to meltdowns and pestering. My child would also zone out and not respond to anything going on around him if he were watching TV.
I had read lots of articles about how kids’ TV is addictive. The colours, quick frame rate and music are all designed to keep your child watching. It’s a dopamine hit for the brain. So I decided to take a week off and see what happens.
After a few days, my son stopped asking for the TV to be on, and his meltdowns stopped. He was more present, and it allowed for more interaction and conversation at home. It wasn’t an easy transition, but seeing the stark difference in him made it easy to follow through with.
The first few days are the hardest
The first few days were the hardest as TV was very much part of our routine. To prepare for this, I just needed to keep us both busy and limit the time we spent sitting in the living room. We were out of the house most of the time and doing activities at home.
This also meant that I had to lower my expectations of what I could get done around the house, or even just sitting down with a cup of coffee. I just made sure I was ready to focus on my son and keep him entertained for the first few days.
Replace shows with books
Most TV shows have books – I went to The Works with my son and we picked some Bing and Bluey books for him. Sticker books were also a good call and a way to keep him entertained. My son loves reading now and will even read on his own.
Being present as a parent
Most of the time, my son is easy to parent if I am present and ready to focus on him whenever he needs me. Many of my frustrations stem from my desire to do other things, such as household chores, respond to emails, or take a break.
I just had to suck it up and be ready to give my child the attention he needed and treat anything else as a bonus. I found this to be the easiest way to switch my mindset, so I could remain regulated and ready to respond to his needs.
No getting frustrated, no making him wait, and no blaming him for being difficult when he needs to be entertained.
It’s a process, a change in mindset, and I don’t always get it right. But it becomes a habit over time.
Getting him involved with housework
I would plop my son in front of the TV so I could clean. I could clean the kitchen and do a load of laundry in 30 minutes. Now I had a little kiddo following me around all the time, so it took longer. But I managed to find tasks he could do with me.
Just small things to make him feel like he’s helping. As I mentioned, it takes longer this way, but the interactions and possibilities for communication are excellent. He was only just three at the time, so the tasks weren’t anything too complicated. He could take washing in and out of the machine. Pass me clothes or pegs to hang out. I’d give him a spray bottle of water, and he’d wipe down the cupboards. He has a toy mop and a vacuum and copies me.
Hey, it was kind of fun. It feels good to do little things like this with your child.
18 months later..
It’s been 18 months since I stopped using screens, and I’m so glad I made this decision. It was the right one for my child. I have tried to reintroduce TV in moderation, but he reverts straight back to his old behaviours. I’m not sure how long we’ll be screen-free for. It’s easy now as there’s less noise around, such as being influenced by his friends. He doesn’t know if his friends have iPads or what shows they watch. I’m sure I’ll have to deal with this at some point.
All I know is that I want to be screen-free for as long as possible, or at least until we can have conversations about moderation, and he is able to watch TV for a short while without experiencing meltdowns. I also want to keep him off devices such as tablets and phones for as long as possible.
My child doesn’t have meltdowns, can go on long car journeys, and happily watches out of the window and chats away about what he can see. Things are easier now as he will sit and play with his trains and puzzles while I get the housework done. He will sit and read books or play by himself. It’s just our routine now.
For me, it felt like I was using screens to regulate his emotions, and I didn’t see that as a good long-term plan. I wanted to help him regulate his emotions by sitting with them and talking about them, not distracting him and ignoring them. Emotional intelligence is vital, and I want to help my child develop it. I want him to be able to recognise his emotions and behaviours, I want him to be okay with talking about his feelings and understand how he reacts to the world. I believe screens would not help me achieve that.
Like I said, this is what works for my child. Your child may be able to moderate their behaviour.
However, if you are reading this post, I expect you are struggling with screen time yourself.
Give it a week without screens and see how it affects your child. The results for us were amazing.
I absolutely LOVE this post and feel the same as you. We watch minimal TV – we save TV time for the Gruffalo while I’m making dinner but usually, he comes and helps me instead. Because it’s not a big part of his childhood, he’s so unbothered about it. We also told our toddler that ipads only work on airplanes – which we’ve needed for longer haul flights but very rarely actually used.
His behavious is always better with zero screens and while it takes more effort to play, organise things and be more present, it’s paying dividends with his behaviour, attitude and speech!
I am dreading the days his friends all have ipads, iphones etc. I’d happily be screen free for as long as possible!
Rosie
I need to cut down on screen time, but when you’re freelancing, it’s pretty hard to do just that! But I have cut down on screen time before bed, which has helped my sleep x
Lucy
This is a great reminder to be more present. I like the idea of swapping out TV with books. Thanks for sharing!
I have read about and watched studies of families that greatly limit, or completely stop screen time. All instances showed huge improvements in behaviour, mental health and overall happiness/well-being. I think we rely on screens and social media so much (even those of us without children) and it’s not the key to a content existence. Great post!
This is so interesting! We don’t really limit screen time, but equally it’s not something we have on all the time. I love a day when you can tell the telly hasn’t been on and the house is just a carpet of toys! When we do long journeys in the van the girls get to go on the tablet, it makes the journey so much easier for us, but you can always tell when they’ve been on it too long, behaviour wise. It’s definitely something we’re conscious of.
Claire.X