How to tell if your mattress is too firm

It’s important to have a comfortable mattress because your mattress plays a critical role in sleep quality, and sleep is crucial to your health. Adults need between seven and 9 hours of sleep per night, and children need even more.

But here’s the thing—mattress firmness is a Goldilocks situation. Too firm and you’ll wake up with aching pressure points. Too soft and you’ll feel like you’re trapped in quicksand with back pain to match.

This article explores the main signs your mattress is too firm AND too soft to help you figure out whether to stick or twist.

Let’s jump in!

Updated December 2025

Understanding Mattress Firmness

Before we dive into the warning signs, it’s worth understanding what “firmness” actually means. Mattress firmness typically ranges from 1 (very soft) to 10 (very firm), with most people finding their sweet spot somewhere between 5 and 7 (medium to medium-firm).

Your ideal firmness depends on three main factors:

1. Your body weight – Heavier sleepers need more support to prevent excessive sinkage, whilst lighter sleepers need more cushioning to avoid pressure points
2. Your sleeping position – Side sleepers generally need softer surfaces, back sleepers need medium support, and stomach sleepers need firmer mattresses
3. Any pain or medical conditions – Back pain, hip pain, or joint issues may require specific firmness levels

The Break-In Period

If you have a new mattress, it’s important to note that all mattresses have a break-in period where they soften—which can take up to sixty days. Memory foam mattresses especially need time to adjust to your body and room temperature. But if your mattress is more than a few months old, this is unlikely to be your problem.

Signs Your Mattress Is Too Firm

1. You Get Discomfort Where Your Body Presses Into the Mattress

The most common symptom of a mattress that’s too firm is discomfort where your body presses into the mattress. If you sleep on your side, this will usually be on your hip, whilst back sleepers usually feel it on their upper back.

You might find the discomfort more pronounced the following night when laying in the same position causes pain or discomfort. If so, your mattress is probably too firm and causing inflammation in your muscles and joints.

2. You Wake Up With a Backache or Aching Muscles and Joints

Suppose you wake up with a backache or aching muscles that can’t be linked to injury or strenuous activity the previous day. In that case, these are good signs that your mattress is too firm, especially if it happens more than twice weekly.

Because aches and pains are often caused by strenuous activity—such as bending down to pick up something heavy—you need to link your pain to your mattress. The best way to do this is to try a softer mattress and see if it solves your problem.

3. The Mattress Doesn’t Contour to Your Body

When you lie down on a too-firm mattress, you’ll notice it doesn’t contour to your body’s natural curves. Instead of the mattress gently hugging your shoulders, hips, and lower back, you’ll feel like you’re lying on top of the mattress rather than in it.

A properly firm mattress should still have some give to accommodate your body shape whilst maintaining support. If there’s no contouring at all, it’s too firm.

4. You Toss and Turn

Tossing and turning is perfectly normal to get comfortable, but it’s crucial to recognise when it becomes patterned behaviour in response to discomfort.

Most people should only toss and turn two to three times before falling asleep or up to five times on a terrible night. If you toss and turn more than five times every night and it stops you from sleeping, this is a problem.

Either your mattress is too firm or soft—if you have a firm or medium-firm mattress, it is probably the former and vice versa.

5. Your Mattress Firmness and Body Weight Don’t Match Up

We always recommend buying a mattress based on your body weight because it helps ensure comfort across all sleeping positions. The rule is simple—the heavier you are, the firmer the mattress should be so you don’t sink into the bed.

Here’s what we recommend:

• Medium soft: Side sleepers under 130lbs (9.3 stone)
• Medium: Back and side sleepers between 130lbs and 180lbs (9.3-12.9 stone)
• Medium-firm: Back and side sleepers from 160-230lbs (11.4-16.4 stone), front sleepers up to 200lbs (14.3 stone)
• Firm: Back and side sleepers over 230lbs (16.4 stone)

For example, if you are under 160lbs (11.4 stone) and have a firm mattress, it is too firm. You should go for a medium mattress if you are a side sleeper or a medium-firm mattress if you are a back sleeper.

6. You Get a Better Night’s Sleep on Softer Mattresses

This is a BIG ONE—if you sleep better on softer mattresses, there’s no better sign to banish your firm mattress and get a softer mattress.

Perhaps you stayed at a hotel or a friend’s house, and the mattress felt significantly nicer than yours because it was soft and squishy. In that case, upgrading to a softer mattress will transform your sleep for the better.

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Signs Your Bed Is Too Soft

Now let’s talk about the opposite problem—a mattress that’s too soft. This is increasingly common, especially with the popularity of plush memory foam and pillow-top mattresses that feel lovely in the showroom but turn into back pain factories after a few months.

1. You Wake Up With Lower Back Pain Every Morning

The most common symptom of a bed that’s too soft is a stiff and sore lower back. This usually happens first thing in the morning, after you’ve been in bed for a prolonged period of time.

When a mattress is too soft, your hips and lower back sink too deeply, creating a “U” shape (sometimes called the “banana position”) rather than maintaining your spine’s natural “S” curve. This misalignment puts strain on your lower back muscles throughout the night.

The key indicator? The pain usually improves as you move around during the day. If your back feels worst when you wake up but loosens up after an hour or two, your mattress is likely the culprit.

2. You Experience a “Sinking” or “Stuck” Feeling

Do you feel like you’re sinking into your mattress rather than resting on top of it? This is one of the clearest signs your bed is too soft.

Quality mattresses are designed with three layers or more—usually consisting of a top comfort layer, a middle transitional layer, and a bottom support layer. The comfort and transitional layers are designed to provide contouring comfort for the curves of your body.

If you’re “bottoming out”—meaning you can feel the hard support layer underneath—your mattress has lost its structural integrity. You shouldn’t be able to feel the base layer when lying down. If you can, the top layers have compressed too much, and the mattress is effectively too soft.

3. It’s Physically Difficult to Get In and Out of Bed

When you get in and out of your bed, how difficult is it to do so? If you find that you feel “stuck” in your bed and have a hard time pulling yourself up and off the mattress, this could be a sign your bed is too soft.

Whilst certain highly conformable materials like memory foam can contribute to the issue, feeling “stuck” in a hybrid mattress, or one that features latex or latex-alternative foam, is a good indicator that firmness is lacking.

Getting out of bed shouldn’t require a strategy session. If you need to roll to the edge and use momentum to escape your mattress, it’s too soft.

4. Visible Sagging or Body Impressions

When you’re out of bed and inspecting the condition of your mattress, is there visible sagging in the centre? Do you see body impressions on either side?

This can happen over time with normal wear, and rotating your mattress regularly can help prevent it. That said, dents any deeper than about a half-inch can signal the mattress has lost sufficient support.

Sagging is particularly common in older mattresses or lower-quality foam mattresses. Once sagging develops, the mattress is too soft in those areas and cannot provide proper spinal support.

5. You’re Tossing and Turning All Night

Just like with a too-firm mattress, excessive tossing and turning can indicate your bed is too soft. But the reason is different.

With a too-soft mattress, you’re constantly readjusting because your muscles aren’t able to fully relax. Your body is working overtime trying to maintain proper alignment, which prevents you from settling into deep sleep.

Not everyone stays in the same sleeping position throughout the night. But excess sinkage from a too-soft mattress can make it harder to roll over into a new position (especially without waking up). A firmer surface may help with easier mobility whilst sleeping.

6. Neck or Shoulder Pain (Especially for Stomach Sleepers)

Stomach sleepers need to be especially careful with the firmness of their mattress. That’s because sleeping on your stomach already puts extra strain on your neck, jaw, and upper back due to the unnatural twisting required in that position.

If you sleep on your stomach and are certain you have the right type of pillow for your sleep position—but continue to experience neck and shoulder pain—that could be a sign your hips are sinking too far into the mattress. This creates an arch in your back that strains your upper body.

7. You’re a Heavier Sleeper

Heavier sleepers (those weighing about 230 pounds or 16.4 stone or more) generally need more support than a very plush mattress can provide. Though medium-firm models are ideal for most people, larger bodies might get more optimal sleep with a firmer mattress.

The added firmness and structural reinforcement can prevent “bottoming out,” when mattress materials are compressed by surface weight to the point that you’re essentially sleeping on the hard base layer.

8. Poor Edge Support

Edge support is a reinforced perimeter on a mattress that helps minimise motion transfer whilst preventing you from sinking in when sitting on the edge. Not all mattresses have it, though.

No edge support, combined with a sagging centre or general lack of firmness, can make it tricky to get in and out of bed without feeling like you’re sinking in.

If you feel like you’re going to roll off when you sit on the edge of the bed, or if the edge compresses significantly, your mattress is likely too soft overall.

9. You Wake Up Feeling Exhausted Despite Sleeping 7-8 Hours

Quality sleep is essential for you to be alert and productive during the day. When you find yourself draggy and unfocused during daytime, it’s time to check your mattress.

If your mattress becomes too soft, you may struggle to get the quality sleep needed to remain alert and productive. As a result, you’ll wake up exhausted and tired all day. This happens because your body never fully relaxes—it’s constantly micro-adjusting to try to maintain proper spinal alignment.

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How to Fix a Mattress That’s Too Firm

If you’ve determined your mattress is too firm, here are some solutions:

Add a Soft Mattress Topper

The quickest fix is adding a mattress topper. Look for:

• Memory foam toppers for contouring and pressure relief
• Latex toppers for a softer feel with some bounce
• Feather/down toppers for a plush, hotel-like feel
• 2-4 inches thickness for noticeable difference

Give It Time

If your mattress is brand new (less than 60 days old), give it time to break in. You can speed this up by:

• Sleeping on it regularly
• Walking on it for several minutes each day
• Applying gentle pressure to help compress the materials

Use Softer Bedding

Layer soft sheets, a quilted mattress pad, and a plush duvet to add cushioning.

Check Your Foundation

A hard, solid foundation can make your mattress feel firmer. Consider switching to sprung slats or a foundation with more give.

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How to Fix a Mattress That’s Too Soft

If you’ve determined your bed is too soft, here are your options:

Add a Firm Mattress Topper

Contrary to popular belief, you CAN add firmness with the right topper. Look for:

• High-density memory foam toppers (3-4 inches thick)
• Latex toppers (particularly Dunlop latex for firmness)
• High-density polyfoam toppers for budget-friendly support

The key is thickness and density. A thin topper won’t overcome the soft mattress underneath. You need at least 3-4 inches of high-density material to create a new, firmer surface layer.

Place Plywood Under the Mattress

One of the simplest DIY solutions is to place a sheet of plywood (at least ¾ inch thick) between your mattress and the foundation. This creates a solid, supportive base that prevents the mattress from sagging further.

Check and Upgrade Your Foundation

Your bed frame, box spring, or slats might be the problem, not the mattress itself. Inspect for:

• Broken or bent slats
• Worn-out box springs
• Slats spaced too far apart (should be no more than 8 inches apart)

A sagging foundation will make even a firm mattress feel too soft. Consider upgrading to a solid platform base or adding a bunkie board.

Rotate Your Mattress Regularly

Most modern mattresses aren’t flippable, but almost all beds require regular rotation to maintain their shape over time. Rotate your mattress 180° every 3-6 months to distribute weight more consistently across the sleep surface.

If you have a two-sided mattress, flip it to the other side. The unused side could be much firmer than the side that has become too soft.

Lower Your Room Temperature

For memory foam mattresses specifically, room temperature plays a significant role in firmness. Memory foam softens in response to heat and hardens in cooler temperatures.

Try turning down your thermostat at night to see if that keeps your mattress firmer. Aim for around 15-19°C (60-67°F) for optimal sleep temperature.

Remove the Box Spring

If all else fails, eliminate the box spring altogether and place the mattress directly on the floor or on a solid platform. This is especially effective for foam mattresses that need more support underneath.

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When to Replace Your Mattress

Not having proper support whilst sleeping isn’t really something you want to brush off. Over time, sleeping on a too-soft or too-firm surface can lead to a number of problems—from chronic back pain and long-term posture issues to trouble falling asleep and reduced REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, to name just a few.

It’s time to replace your mattress if:

• It’s more than 7-10 years old
• There’s visible sagging deeper than half an inch
• You consistently wake up in pain that improves during the day
• DIY fixes (toppers, plywood, rotation) haven’t helped after a month
• You sleep better on other beds (hotels, friends’ houses)
• There are permanent body impressions
• You and your partner are rolling towards the middle

A mattress topper is an effective, quick solution to a slightly too-firm or too-soft mattress. However, if you start experiencing consistent pain when you wake up, it might be time for a new mattress.

There’s a big difference between a sleep surface that’s too soft and a mattress that’s simply too old. Mattresses tend to get softer over time, so a bed that’s older than 7 or 8 years is probably due for replacement.

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The Bottom Line

Your mattress should support your body in neutral alignment whilst providing enough cushioning to relieve pressure points. Too firm and you’ll get pressure point pain. Too soft and you’ll get back pain from poor spinal alignment.

The good news? Whether your mattress is too firm or too soft, there are solutions that don’t require immediately buying a new one. Mattress toppers, foundation adjustments, and proper rotation can all help extend the life of your current bed.

But if your mattress is old, visibly sagging, or causing persistent pain despite your best efforts to fix it, investing in a new mattress is the most practical solution. Your sleep—and your back—are worth it.