I’m 30 in a few months and it’s killing me. I cannot believe my age. I do not feel like an adult. I mean, 30 isn’t even a new adult. It’s rather deep into adult. I’m like, a professional adult. Or something. But I don’t feel like one at all. Let’s take yesterday, for example. I drank way too much the night before, slept in my clothes and makeup, didn’t get out of bed until 5pm after spending all day being busy trying not to die. I thought I’d get over that kind of behaviour years ago. Nope.
So here are some of the thoughts I’m having about heading into my 30’s.
- Wait, what? How did this happen? I’m too young for this!
- I’m never having kids, am I?
- Is it still acceptable for me to drink during the week? LOLOLOL Like I’ll ever stop that.
- Are my hangovers going to get worse?
- Should I save up for a mortgage or go back to Florida for a few weeks?
- When I was a kid, 30 year olds looked SO OLD. Is that what kids see when they look at me? Ew.
- How much longer can I pull off long hair?
- It’s cool that I still watch Pokemon, right?
- And play Minecraft. On a shared server. With 12 year old American boys.
- Seeing as I can no longer con a man into loving me using my fresh as a daisy young looks, I guess I best work on this shit personality of mine.
- I’m going to die alone.
- I should lower my standards when it comes to men.
- No wait, I can get some cats and lots of Spiced Rum! Screw you, sucky men!
- At least I get attention on social media. I don’t need no man.
- I hope I don’t turn into one of those people that watches soaps ever night. EW EASTENDERS!
- But I’d happily get back into Hollyoaks.
- If I don’t have kids, it’s probably something I’ll regret as I’m turning 40.
- I wonder if I should adopt in a few years.
- LOL who am I kidding, nobody is going hand over a small human for me to try and grow.
- I just remembered about the time I killed 2 cactus. I should forget about kids. And pets.
- Is it weird like I still spend most evenings in my room on my computer. Just like when I was a teenager?
- I should make more effort with ironing. Or something like that.
- Is it okay that I still find poo jokes funny? POO EMOJI FTW.
- I wonder if people think it’s creepy I’ve been single for so long. I mean, I am creepy. But I just hope people don’t know that I am. It’s kinda embarrassing that the more men get to know me the less they like me lolz.
- I’m fuming that I still have teen acne and I’ll be getting the wrinkles soon.
- At what point am I classed as a mature blogger?
- Ohhhh shit.
- I have no idea how to celebrate. Do I even want to celebrate?
- When I was younger, I thought I’d totally have my life together when I’m thirty. Jesus, I’m a right mess.
- Will the transformation hurt?
How do you feel about getting older?
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