I felt the need to write a blog post about this whole ‘Molly Mae night feeds’ saga. I don’t know much about Molly-Mae, apart from she said everyone has the same 24 hours in the day so can be as successful as her and she is the creative director of an unethical company, PrettyLittleThing. So yeah, my initial impressions of her are not great.
I do know that Molly-Mae has millions of followers on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram and TikTok, where many young women look up to and admire her. Molly Mae not feeding her baby at night has to be one of the awful things I’ve heard, so let’s talk about it.
Molly-Mae’s Influence
What Molly-Mae says and does have a massive amount of influence on those followers. So when she says things that are incorrect and have the potential to harm babies, I think it’s VERY important to speak out about the Molly Mae night feeding saga. It’s less about her and more about the bigger picture and the scale of her influence.
It appears that Molly-Mae has been given incorrect information that has been detrimental to her breastfeeding journey and is also dangerous for her baby girl.
I don’t, for one second, think that Molly-Mae will care (or even read) what I have to say about her. This isn’t about reaching HER and shaming HER. The press has had a field day with headlines like ‘Molly-Mae SLAMMED’ or ‘shamed’. This is because mum shaming is a hot topic and will get more clicks, but really, these people have been trying to offer correct information and debunk myths. It’s not about shaming anyone, it’s about correcting the dangerous things she has been saying about how she feeds after her daughter. All I hope is to encourage a handful of women to do their own research on the feeding habits of babies and don’t listen to those online. Heck, don’t even listen to me. Find information that is backed up by professionals and research. Listen to that!
I also would like to state that this isn’t a conversation about breastfeeding vs formula. I don’t care how you feed your baby, all I care about is that you FEED your baby and you have the correct information to make an informed choice that’s best for you when it comes to feeding.
Molly-Mae refuses to feed her baby at night
So there are two things that Molly-Mae said in a recent YouTube video that unsettled me. The first is:
“She’s going from 11pm to 7am with no milk but she is waking up all through the night and I settle her. She is waking up like ‘oh I want some milk’ and I’m like ‘you’re not having milk now.’ Around this time is when they stop feeding in the night and with her we are trying to encourage that.”
This is SO dangerous and can result in weight loss, not to mention discomfort for the poor hungry baby. It is normal for babies to wake frequently during the night and waking during the night reduces SIDs risk. Milk is the main form of nutrition for a baby for the first 12 months, so these feeds are important. This baby is 10 weeks old. You shouldn’t even consider dropping night feeds of a formula-fed baby until AT LEAST 6 months (18 months for breastfed). And even then, you should only drop them if they are showing signs they are ready. Some babies may sleep through the night at this age – this is okay if it is natural, but if they are waking for milk, you should give them milk.
I am sure she is not intentionally harming her child by withholding night feeds but it is dangerous, and dangerous to speak on her very public platform that around 10 weeks, babies don’t need milk during the night. Molly Mae sleep training her 10-week-old is ridiculous! That poor baby just needs to be comforted on demand and fed on demand.
You can read more information here about night feeds, by Charlotte Stirling-Reed
Stopped breastfeeding because she got her period
The second thing Molly Mae said is that she stopped breastfeeding at 6 weeks because she got her period, and her baby was having long feeds and wanting frequent feeds which she believed indicated a reduction in her supply.
You can still breastfeed if you have your period. It’s common for women to not have a period until they are breastfeeding less frequently, but it can come back at any time.
Also, what she was describing was cluster feeding – around 6 weeks there is a growth spurt. It’s common for babies to cluster feed at this time. This is when it seems like they are feeding all the time, or are on and off the breast a lot and fussing. They do this to increase milk supply. This isn’t an indication of low milk supply, but an indication that your baby needs more milk than they did before, so they are behaving exactly how they should trigger a mother’s hormones to produce more milk.
Molly-Mae said her baby would fall to sleep attached to her breast, this is completely normal as being close to mum is comforting for a young baby. Babies feel safest when in the arms of their primary caregiver. It’s also a way of maintaining a good milk supply thanks to the strong suckling reflux. Her friend told her this wasn’t normal – but it is.
If Molly-Mae wanted to stop breastfeeding, that is fine. But she is saying she stopped breastfeeding for a reason she didn’t need to. This is problematic because her followers may go on to have babies, then believe they have a milk supply issue and stop breastfeeding when their baby is cluster feeding.
Here is some information on cluster feeding from La Leche League UK, a breastfeeding charity.
Is Molly-Mae A Victim of Misinformation?
Molly-Mae has been the victim of misinformation and unrealsitic sleep/feeding goals. By sharing her experience as she has on her platform, she is potentially damaging the breastfeeding journey of other mothers by spreading this false information to others. This is Molly-Mae’s first baby and she is still learning – I hope she speaks out about this and corrects these harmful myths before other mothers fall for the false information that is fed into mothers by the sleep training and formula industry.
Molly-Mae needs to do better. Not only is she starving her own child, but she is also potentially encouraging others to do the same and end their breastfeeding journey early. I understand she can’t know what she doesn’t know – but after the backlash she has received over the past few days, she should now know better and educate her followers by directing them to up-to-date, evidence-based and accurate information to allow people an informed choice around feeding their babies.
Molly-Mae’s Response to the Backlash
Molly-Mae has posted a new YouTube video, but sadly she does not address any of the information that she has been spreading about dropping night feeds and breastfeeding.
Instead, she said referred to those trying to educate her as ‘the mum police’. Most of the comments on her YouTube channel were friendly and tried to offer the correct advice. You can go and read them yourself if you wish.
She said this has shown her what she can and cannot say about her baby online. I do agree that if she cannot fact-check what she is saying, then she should just keep her baby off the internet. But you cannot criticise people for being outraged at her saying she doesn’t feed her 10-week-old baby when she is hungry at night and saying that you can’t breastfeed if you have your period back.
It’s disappointing though, as she doesn’t seem to understand the influence she has. Molly-Mae could have used this as a moment to share information that is backed by research. She could educate millions of young women about night feeds and breastfeeding.
Somebody with that many followers DOES have a responsibility to use that scale for good. It’s a shame Molly-Mae has decided not to do so.
Molly Mae not feeding baby at night seems to be acceptable for some fans though, who stand by her no matter what.
It’s horrible that Molly-Mae isn’t feeding her 10-week-old baby at night! Her daughter is waking up hungry during the night and all she does is soothe her back to sleep?! That’s terrible especially when she has such a large following and is spreading misinformation!
I hope she has started to feed her now!
I can’t imagine refusing to feed a ten week old baby! I’m assuming she’s been misinformed herself but could be so dangerous passing that misinformation on!
Amy x
callmeamy.co.uk
Yes, she has been misinformed or misinterpreted something. I know their circadian rhythm kicks in around that age and they are better able to respond to day and night, so I do wonder if that’s where she’s got it from.
Considering her following and influence over a great number of impressionable parents, the situation is really quite sad. Sad for the baby being neglected, sad if she does actually feel like what she’s said is true and sad for other mums believing incorrect information. I really hope she takes this opportunity to do better and both educate herself and others about feeding. I can’t imagine not giving such a young baby comfort during the night. I can’t remember when we (naturally) dropped night feeds with Evie, although it doesn’t feel like it was that long ago & she’s gone 18 months now. Props to you for this!
Claire.X
http://www.clairemac.co.uk
It would be amazing if she did a followup video with the correct information. Know better, do better. But for now, she is silent. Despite all the backlash.
This whole movement has just blown my mind everyday! I am so shocked that with all of her resources, she could be so clueless when it comes to stuff like her period. I got my period after 8 weeks but was exclusively breastfeeding. I spoke to my NCT breastfeeding specialist and she said “yep these things can happen, go with it”.
My fear is that Molly Mae’s following and influencing is MASSIVE and it’s a worry that this misinformation could be taken as gospel and new parents could be not feeding their babies!
Rosie
We share the same worries, which is why I had to post about it!
I’m no mother but if your baby needs feeding, he/she needs feeding, regardless of the time of day! To withdraw milk from your baby between a certain time at night is not good. Molly-Mae is a very influential person for a lot of people (not me), so to spread misinformation like this is incredibly dangerous. I think she has definitely been misinformed and I’m surprised no health experts have pulled her up on it x
Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk
I guess we will never know if health experts have pulled her up unless she tells us. It really is just instincts to feed your child when they wake for milk!
Frankly, I don’t care about Molly-Mae or her social sphere, but when I read about this I was really disappointed that somebody with such a high influence would share should dangerous information, but also act out on that information. If a baby is hungry, feed them. My boy is just over 6 months and even though for the most part he happily sleeps through, if he does wake up for a feed then he’ll get one. It’s so important that people don’t take everything that high-profile influencers say as fact and do their own research, but unfortunately in this day and age we’re all so impressionable to the things other people say online, it’s so likely that this harmful information will reach people who don’t feel the need to look deeper into it.
I feel the same – I don’t follow her at all and I have no interest in her or Love Island etc. She has so many followers and of course some of them will take what she said as truth.
I’m just commenting on the period comment she made as I had to stop breastfeeding due to my period. I have endometriosis and I know she does too, I had to stop as I needed to take strong pain relief due to horrendous pain and I couldn’t breastfeed when taking the medication. As not safe for baby. Therefore unable to continue after this as it’s not just a day of pain, again a little research will show you this. Fortunately you must be luckily to not suffer unbearable pain like that to not think there could be more to this comment. So this is also spreading some false information as everyone has a different journey. I don’t however agree with the not feeding through the night at 10 weeks, I’m sure she was misinformed herself though. I personally don’t like how this article has been written, new mums go through so much and have so much pressure to do the right thing. No one has bad intentions and I’m sure she’s only going on advice she has been given. This just seems like mum shaming. I get raising awareness with correct information but there is a way to write this without a shaming tone.
She specifically said that she stopped feeding due to her period coming back and her milk drying up. She didn’t say anything about being in pain or medication so I highly doubt that was the reason – she gave the reason, you can go and watch the video yourself. I don’t believe I am spreading misinformation as I didn’t say anything about endometriosis, and neither did Molly Mae.
Stopping breastfeeding is fine whether it is due to someone being in pain or maybe they just don’t want to do it anymore. It’s the fact that she is saying that periods returning means there isn’t enough milk. This is misinformation.
I did say in this article that Molly Mae is a victim of misinformation herself – but she is a public figure and she has a responsibility to ensure any information she gives out is correct. She has received hundreds of comments on her YouTube video about the misinformation she is spreading and she has not even acknowledged it. If she was to speak out, educate and correct herself and use it as a learning opportunity for herself and to raise awareness by giving right information, then I would have respect for her. But the longer she leaves it, the worse she looks.
This is an emotive subject, I understand. But we’ve got to be able to talk about this without being accused of being mum shamed, though I do think depriving a 10-week-old baby of milk when they are waking for it (her words!) does warrant a bit of shame, don’t you?
It’s really important other women don’t stop breastfeeding because they think what she said is true, or they think that 10-weeks is when a baby should have stopped nightfeeds. People should make their feeding choices based on up to date, accurate information from trusted sources and that information is not difficult to find.
I just can’t believe any mother, misinformed or not, would refuse to feed their baby when they are waking up crying for milk. Baffling.