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Bringing up boys these days

There’s been a lot in social media lately about the lessons we should be teaching boys and young men. Specifically following accounts of murder, rape…


teaching boys not to rape

There’s been a lot in social media lately about the lessons we should be teaching boys and young men. Specifically following accounts of murder, rape and physical or emotional abuse.

There’s lots of outrage when we see someone comment on the news story of a girl that was murdered that ‘she shouldn’t have been out past dark’.

If she was raped that ‘she shouldn’t have been wearing a red dress’.

You get the picture – the blame lies with the person who was committing the crime. Not the person that found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time. Women shouldn’t have to be afraid to walk home in the dark or worried that their dress might get their arse squeezed in a club or more. But we are. That’s really crap. Rather than teaching women how not to get raped and murdered, we should be teaching men not to rape or murder.

It’s time to change that by teaching boys and young men how they should treat others.

teaching boys not to rape

I believe that some people are just awful and their upbringing may not change their actions. But what about the grey areas where a boy thought he a girl liked him and had sex with her when she was so drunk she could barely speak? These are the types of stories we can change by educating boys on men on concent, laws around age, how alcohol makes things tricky to judge and how any form of sexual assault is wrong. Even if it is a cheeky tap on the bum as a girl walks past in the club.

Every parent has heard the horror stories of teenage boys who have lost their way, died tragically because of immature mistakes or gotten into drugs before they even reached adulthood. As parents, whether you live in the United States or another country, your top concern is your son and how to raise him in the way he should go. With the various things out there that can happen to your child, some of them being beyond your control, raising a son is scary. With that in mind, read on below for a few of the top tips to help you along the way to raising your son safely, and to be the responsible, successful adult you know he can be.

Always Look for the Warning Signs

While you might feel that you have the best kid in the world and that he would never touch drugs of any kind, every other parent feels that way as well. It doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t look for the warning signs, just to be on the safe side. If you are in California and have a child who you think is abusing drugs, please contact a facility like Windward Way for help, before it’s too late. Being vigilant and looking for the warning signs could very well save your son’s life.

Always Be His Biggest Fan

Dads, it can be hard to remember because it was a while ago, but being a teenage boy isn’t an easy thing to be. Making sure that you stay his biggest fan and don’t put him down is vital to his development. Never talk down to your son or call him stupid for not doing things the way you want him too. Remember, he has pressure coming from all sides, his school, his family, and his friends. Being a teenage boy is rough and knowing that you are always on his side, no matter what, will go a long way towards turning your teenage boy into a man you can be proud of.

Always Talk, Always Listen

While it is aggravating that your son’s vocab seems to be limited to the words, “yeah” and “what,” that doesn’t mean that you should stop communicating with him. If your son decides he wants to talk, make sure that you drop what you’re doing and talk to him. That means don’t just talk but listen to what he has to say if you want to develop a healthy relationship. Your son doesn’t want to hear you harp on him and never get a word in edgewise himself. Instead, sit, talk, and listen. Those are three words to live by when trying to raise a responsible teenage boy in today’s modern world.

Whether it’s looking for warning signs of drugs, alcohol, abuse or communicating effectively, the way to raise your teenage son to be a responsible adult is by being a responsible parent. This also means setting guidelines and boundaries that there are consequences for breaking. Choosing your battles is one thing, letting your son run wild is another. These tips should help you to ensure that your teenage boy becomes the responsible adult you know he is meant to become.


  1. I don’t have any kids yet but this is a great post. I hope many mothers, as well as boys, give this a read because the world has become a dark and dangerous place for women. Young men really do need to be given a talk about issues regarding consent and be held liable for their actions. I am African and I have personally encountered many young boys in households being held at a different standard than their female siblings and as a result, some of them don’t even respect women and think they are merely objects for their pleasure. These young men end up lacking responsibility and things really need to change.

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