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Still awkward at 32

When I was a child, I was always amazed at the ability of adults to talk to anyone about anything. I was so shy. I…



When I was a child, I was always amazed at the ability of adults to talk to anyone about anything.

I was so shy. I used to grip on to my mums coat pocket for dear life, afraid of anyone that spoke to me. I wanted to be invisible so I wouldn’t have to think of how to respond.

I thought it was because I was a child and that all children were like this. I thought when I grew up, I’d be like the rest of the adults and be able to talk to anyone.

When I was a teen, things didn’t change. I was still the same but because I was a bit older, people started to talk to me like an adult and I didn’t know how to respond so it felt like I had taken a massive step backwards in regards to my social skills.

I told myself to wait. When I was a bit older, things would change. I got a job – I was the same. I went to university, I was the same. I graduated university and was the same.

I turned 30. Guess what?

I was the same.

I have to admit that I am slightly better in social situations than I was when I was younger, but only slightly. The feeling is still the same. That awkwardness I feel, cringing at myself when I hear my voice out loud and it’s all monotone because I’m in my awkward mode. I may step out of my comfort zone a bit more, but the uncomfortableness still feels the same each time.

I thought I would naturally evolve into someone fluent in the art of conversation. But I didn’t. I often see people who are just great at making conversation. I can only have conversations with strangers if there is a purpose to it. I can meet with a stranger at work and go through the agenda points for our meeting, but if we were to have a cup of coffee before the meeting I’d be feeling like that 4 year old girl gripping onto her Mums pocket, wishing to climb inside and hide.

It’s silly because I know all the typical questions for small talk, I just can’t do it.

Can anyone else relate because it’s kind of bumming me out?


  1. Hello Corinne, it will be because you are an introverted person or with some difficulty to start a conversation, the best thing is to let things flow. Do not be afraid to converse with people, it is a matter of letting go but always maintaining prudence, also being shy or rather It would be like when I was a little girl, but at 40 I can develop better.

  2. Don’t feel bummed out! You are definitely not alone! I relate to this sooooo much! It’s genuinely really hard to talk to people without feeling awkward!

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