You don’t have to be friends with dicks

I wrote a post a couple years ago about a friend I used to have. Titled Dear Sophie, why were you such a bully?

That post did great and a lot of people said they took something positive from it. As it’s been over two years since I wrote that post and it’s now well and truly in my archives, thought it was time to keep the message alive.

One thing that astonishes me about this blog is that some people actually care what I have to say and my followers have often shared the important stuff. So amongst the sponsored posts and reviews of restaurants, I like to try and use my influence for something a little less materialistic.

In short:

You don’t have to be friends with awful people.

Although this post is probably aimed at my younger readers out there – it could be relevant to those a bit older.

It really is one of those things we look back on when we’re older and wish we knew better. That bit of wisdom we wish to pass on to those young that don’t know any better.

Most of us have fallen in with the wrong crowd at some point. We’ve been friends with people that have been nasty to us, that have been nasty about others. But why?

Social status.

There are times in our lives where we think it’s really important to be popular. School for example, or maybe in certain workplace situations.

In school, most of us want to be one of the cool kids. The thing is, not all of us are cool. In my school, the cooler kids were those that skipped class, smoked outside the school gates and had a bad attitude to teachers.

They were basically wankers.

We yearn to be accepted and liked by those people. Why though?

Our need to be accepted into their group means that we might just accept it when they make a joke at our expense or say something nasty to us. We might accept how they treat others badly.

If you find yourself in a situation like this when you’re trying to impress others to get in with them, don’t bother.

Why do you want to be friends with people like that? Also, remember your time at school is short. When you’ve finished school, you’ll probably never see most of these people again. Get your head down and focus on your work.

When I was at school when we turned 16 and started studying for A levels, a lot of the ‘cool kids’ left school and everyone else came together. It was a different atmosphere, similar to university. Everyone is more accepting of everyone – there are fewer groups of friends and most people get on with everyone.

As we get older, we are a bit less judgemental of the stupid things we would laugh at people at before. Like not wearing the right brand of shoes or shopping at Netto.

What about when you’re older.

This is where things get a bit more complicated. Workplace politics can be a minefield and if you’re unlucky enough to work with dicks, you mind find yourself trying to be accepted by them because it will make your life easier.

If you’re spending 5 days a week with these people, you want to at least get on with them, right?

Ask yourself the following:

• Do you change your behaviour around them?
• Do you accept things they say that you usually wouldn’t?
• Do they make jokes at your expense?

If you find yourself answering yes to any of these, you need to rethink who you associate with.

Whether at school, at work, in your friendship group – people shouldn’t make you feel like this and it’s important to surround yourself by people that make you better yourself. People that inspire you and make you want to be a better you.

Drop those that don’t have a positive impact on you and drag you down. I know that’s easier for me to say than it is for you to do – but you have to remember you have one life and our time here is short. It’s important to make the best of the time we have, this means spending it with people who make our lives fuller – not people who are petty, judgemental and not willing to grow.

Have you ever had to cut people out of your life?

Related posts:

• Drifting away from friends