blog tips,  lifestyle

Shit Bloggers Say

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This post has been written to make you laugh. Sensitive people may be offended, so please click away now if you are easily offended. Because I love you and don’t want to make you sad. Don’t hate me please.

Since I was recently called a bully on Twitter when some girl left a nasty comment one of my blog posts about how ‘95% bloggers have a typical cliche thing going on’, I thought I’d live up to my name of being a massive bitch by finally publishing this post that’s been in my drafts for months.

Hope you are amused. Even if only slightly.

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Shit Bloggers Say

You don’t need to spend loads of money on an expensive camera! A phone camera will do!

But most bloggers who say this do actually own a DSLR. I only know, personally, of one blogger that uses her phone to take photos and takes some damn good ones, too.

I have to admit that I’m a bugger for this one. I spent £350 on a DSLR after only 4 months blogging. I used it on auto mode for about 8 months before I bothered to learn how to use it.

How you spend your money is up to you and if you have £350 to spend on a camera and it makes you happy, then buy it. I always say that we work hard to buy things we want. Don’t, however, buy one on credit or buy one if you’re not going to commit to spending a few hours getting to know the settings and how it works.

I don’t care about stats. I blog because I love it.

I hear this one a lot. Fair enough if you do, but there is often a lot of passive aggressiveness in comments like this suggesting that you’re not blogging for the right reasons if you care about stats.

I love stats. Sometimes I don’t love stats. I’ve wrote posts on both why I care about pageviews and why I don’t care about pageviews.

Blog for whatever reason you want, Brah. Remind me to never say Brah again. It reminds me a bit of bra. Yay boobs. 

I hate it when people ask for a follow for follow!

Sadly, a lot of us have been guilty of this in the past. My first 6 months of blogger were very much follow-for-follow. I saw other people do it and thought that was what people do! ‘I love your blog, would you like do to follow each other on GFC, let me know if you follow and I’ll follow you right back!’.

I had so many comments like that. I see the same thing happening in the YouTube community now. I had one vlog that had about 20 comments saying they had subbed to me and invited them to sub back. I did not. Because I’m all old and wise now.

I only write when I feel inspired. I don’t want my blog to sound forced!

How many times have you sat down and banged your head on the desk trying to think of a topic? We’ve all had writer’s block and tried to overcome it. There’s no shame in forcing a blog post out.

Sometimes you SHOULD force one out. Like when you’ve agreed to work with a brand. Or you’ve not blogged for a bit and want to get back in the game.

Sometimes all it takes is to sit down and force out a few sentences until you get in the groove.

I ALWAYS wear dresses!

LOL THIS IS ME. But I spend about 30% of my time in workout clothes and the 60% of my time in PJs. My life is a lie. Don’t care.

It’s so important to remove your makeup every night!

I get drunk often and do not do this.

I don’t care how many followers I have

This is another common thing bloggers say. But then all the tweets like ‘OMG, only 4 away from 500! Follow me’

I did this when I got to 10k then someone unfollowed me. I know who you are. Bastard.

It’s so annoying when people brag about their blogger mail.

But then snap chat is full of blogger mail unboxing. I have no idea how to do this without sounding braggy. I like watching blogger mail videos. But then why is it also annoying? Solve this for me please.

Maybe I’m jealous. Don’t care.

It’s important to be professional on Social Media!

Then there’s people like me that say stuff like this. Then every time Hermes put my package in my dirty bin, or my Virgin Media Internet cuts out again, I’m straight on the tweeter bitching them out.

HI.

We should laugh at ourselves more. It’s fun. And we can all be hypocrites sometimes.

Goodbye.

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1. noun: a female blogger that writes about her own experiences, observations and opinions. 2. verb: to act like a complete idiot or to do something stupid. e.g: She did a Corinne.

31 Comments

  • Sarah

    I 110% LOVE this post! It’s so frigin true, I can’t stop laughing! You hit the nail right on the head! The age old, ‘I don’t care about the numbers’, damn I KNOW I say this, a lot, and most of the time I don’t care, but who wouldn’t give a little happy dance when they hit the next follower milestone? Thats CARING just a little bit!

    And the camera thing – yup. OK I didn’t spend the money, I was gifted one, BUT some people seem to think just because you BUY the fancy DLSR then people should drool all over your pictures….which in some cases are still sub-standard – IF you’re going to put so much bloody money into a camera AND brag about it all over the internet, bloody learn how to use it – it’s frustrating for those who possible could do with that camera or know how to use it but can’t upgrade and you’re fannying around with it as nothing more than a look at me accessory!

    Rant over. Bye.

    Sarah 🙂
    Saloca in Wonderland

  • Anca

    Awww, I love it!! :))
    I don’t think a phone camera is enough, but I would share pictures taken with the camera because I don’t take the DSLR everywhere. I care about stats and I blog as a hobby, how crazy is that. I also love the one with “don’t want my blog to feel forced”, I don’t get it.

  • Aimee

    Haha, yep, this post definitely made me laugh! I think we all take ourselves too seriously, bloggers or not, and life is better, much better, if you can laugh at yourself!

  • Amy

    I’m another one that doesn’t have a camera and uses her phone for pictures. It means I can just point and shoot and continue being lazy! I also don’t always take make-up off. Like this morning I woke up and realised I hadn’t last night. Ah well, life’s too short to worry about it! x

  • Mica

    THis made me laugh! 🙂 I think it’s important not to take ourselves too seriously. While there are people who blog as a business and take things more seriously and want to make a living out of it, in the end, I’m only in blogging to have fun. I like reading blogs and did so for a while before starting my own.

    I love blogger mail/unboxing videos too! Naturally curious I think haha!

  • Shireen L. Platt

    Hahaha! Oh gosh, Corinne, I swear you need to write a book as I would totally buy it! Thank you for the good laugh and no kidding, eh? These really are what some bloggers say! I did the follow for follow thing for like a week when I first started but quickly stopped as it never felt right and I felt so embarrassed by it. That said, I don’t get follow for follow comments anymore these days. There are a couple here and there but way less than earlier in the year.

  • Denise

    This post made me laugh, it really is what bloggers say (myself included) of course we care how many followers we have as I know when I get a notification on bloglovin/Instagram/Twitter I’m so happy, when I see that someone has unfollowed me I think what was it that they didn’t like plus that they are an asshole

  • Kaitlynn Marie

    Haha this is great! I love the people that say you don’t need a dslr but they never use their phone. I just recently found my expensive (it was like $500/$600 when I first got it) but the battery is dead and I can’t find the charger. Go figure lol. You also know another blogger that takes phone pics and they aren’t the best, I’ll be honest. I try, but I’m working with a phone camera so….

  • Erin

    Haha I love it all, I think my most hated though is “LOVE your blog, Let me know if you follow me and i’ll follow right back” like if you loved my blog you would have followed already. I am not dumb lol

    Erin || MakeErinOver

  • Tania Michele

    I use a £110 camera, I love seeing my stats and I always love and good bit of blogger mail. I like seeing other people’s stats too, and what people get in the mail – and if you can take good pics on an iPhone or DSLR, I’m no wiser either way!! 🙂 Tania Michele xx

  • Emily

    I’ve been making do with my phone camera for almost a year and have been thinking about jumping on the DSLR train. Honestly, though, I’m loath to take away from my dress-buying budget for long enough to buy a camera!

    And after almost a year of blogging, I’m starting to feel like a bad blogger for not working harder to grow my readership. I’ve done a bit more of it lately and it really is a rush to hit milestones. But I think the reason I’ve started to care is that I’m embarrassed to engage with ‘real’ bloggers if I don’t have many followers. The people who follow and immediately unfollow really grind my gears.

    Anyway, this post was good for some laughs!

  • Katie

    Soooo true! Hahaha. I agree with forcing a post out. Like I always say it’s better to keep writing, even write something terrible and just leave it in your drafts. You can always go back and make it ‘good’ at a later date.

  • Maya

    I love this post and your writing in general. I’m guilty of buying a DSLR and both me and my boyfriend have been using it on auto for most of its life with us. We’re planning on doing a photography course soon so we’re no longer petrified of all the settings.
    And yes I do(n’t) care about followers – such a lie 🙂 Unfollow me and I’m found crying in the corner going “Why?”

    Maya | londondamsel.co.uk

  • Michael Noker

    Agh, the sub4sub thing drives me up the freaking wall. I’ve somehow managed to convince myself that getting to a certain level of success means that those comments will dry up eventually. Right? I mean they have to. Nobody’s running around telling Jenna Marbles, “hey bro cool vid i make vids too check it out if you sub i’ll sub back.” So clearly the hallmark of my Made It moment will involve those comments drying up.

    And I’ll go for a month or so and not get any. And I feel happy!

    And then boom. Like four roll in at once. And immediately I remember that I’m still the same awkward dude in his bedroom with a camera.

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