lifestyle

If your post your life publicly, you deserve to get hate.

getting hate online

I’ve mentioned in previous posts about how hate and nastiness is quite a big part of being online. Being anonymous and hiding behind a screen seems to make people grow balls and say things they usually wouldn’t stay to someone’s face.

I’m lucky in that I’ve only experienced a few bits here and there. I’m fat and have hairy arms, apparently. I’m also a bully and I’m not allowed to take gym selfies.

I’m not here to talk about my personal experiences, though, I’m here to talk about one argument that is often thrown back at those who are the victim of internet hate and trolls:

If your post your life publicly, you deserve to get hate.

I HATE THIS ARGUMENT SO MUCH.

Posting parts of your life on the internet doesn’t mean other people have the right to be assholes to you.

Since when does sending a Tweet, writing a blog post or posting a photo on Instagram give people the right to pick apart the way you look, how you stand, how you dress, how you style your hair, how you parent your children, how you live your life?

getting hate online

YouTubers get it so bad. In almost every video I watch, if I scroll through the comments I see negativity. From a simple (and acceptable) ‘I disagree’ to a very heated ‘get cancer and die’. Parents get accused of child abuse, vegans get accused of ramming veganism down people’s throats, meat eaters get accused of being selfish for endorsing animal cruelty when they have a responsibility to set an example. You’re too fat, too thin, your boobs are showing and you’re a slag. You talk about periods and mental health too much, you don’t talk about enough about real life issues and make out you live a perfect life that’s damaging to others. You’re gross. You look like you gained weight, are you sure this diet is working? Those lines on your forehead are awful, you look like you’ve had too much botox. You look anorexic, eat a burger. Your parents should have aborted you.

I don’t understand why these people can’t just stop watching the videos of people they hate, or stop reading their blogs. Unf0llow them on Instagram. Mute them on Twitter. THESE ARE ALL ALTERNATIVE OPTIONS THAT HURT NOBODY’S FEELINGS.

It’s almost as if they love hating so much they keep on watching these people so they can hate them more and say awful things to them.

But why? Why would you want to have so much anger and hate inside you? Surely it’s much more fun to follow the lives of people that inspire you and make you want to better yourself? To follow those that make you laugh and teach you new things?

I don’t get it. I honestly do not.

After writing this post, I read this post by Amber: Stop the Internet, I want to get off. She says it much better than me. So it’s worth checking out.

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1. noun: a female blogger that writes about her own experiences, observations and opinions. 2. verb: to act like a complete idiot or to do something stupid. e.g: She did a Corinne.

18 Comments

  • Holly Shannon

    Well said. I’ve seen loads of tweets and blog posts and videos I don’t necessarily agree with. Sometimes you have to wonder what saying something will actually achieve. Am I trying to change their mind? Am I just telling them their opinion makes me angry? Most of the time, there’s no need to say anything at all. Just move on to something else! x

  • Tania Michele

    Very well put! I can never understand hate comments online! I’m all for sharing an opinion if it’s constructive or the form of ‘i’m not a fan but _____ would be’ << that's all fine! I could never leave such horrible things to a stranger online, especially as I've been on the receiving end of it a few times! 🙂 Tania Michele xx

  • Emma

    Online hate is something I find so hard to comprehend. There are so many people sharing their lives online there is content for everyone so why waste your time on something you don’t like and even more time commenting on it?

    Emma Inks

  • Anca

    Aww, I can’t agree more. There are things I don’t agree with and I might get really annoyed about stuff on blogs, but I keep my thoughts for myself, unless is something that can actually add value to the conversation.
    I understand people have strong feelings about all sort of things, but being nasty to a stranger will not make them see your side of the story. Some of the things said online are really hurtful, it’s a shame, as most people wouldn’t say those words face to face.

  • Susanna | Ordinality

    Preaching to the choir!

    It’s a bit like “well, you’re an actor so you deserve your every move to be criticised”. People need to be taught that if you ain’t got nothing to say, say nothing at all! No likey, no… Well, readey. (That didn’t really rhyme like I wanted it to!)

  • Eleanor Austin

    I couldn’t agree more. I feel like people are more comfortable with saying horrible things than they are with being nice. It’s so easy to comment on everything nowadays, the internet is both a blessing and a curse!

  • Alice

    You’ve said exactly what I usually think when I see hate comments, especially on YouTube. If you don’t like a video, don’t watch it. It’s literally that simple. People amaze me sometimes.

    alicered.co.uk

  • chloe

    I hear people say this all the time! It seriously gets on my nerves. This post is so spot on! To me its fine for people to disagree with how you do things in your life but if it is someone who doesn’t even know you its not their place to judge or advise on your life when it isn’t asked for. As for hate I think its disgusting when people think saying nasty things is okay because ‘you put your whole life online, its to be expected’ it’s quite sad actually, its unnerving that people think because you’re saying terrible things to a computer that its not a real person?! It is also rather comical how the trolls/haters, whatever you want to call them even try to justify what they are doing! why can’t people lift others up & not kick them down? -xo

    chloedanielle.co.uk

  • Lacy

    I couldn’t agree with this post more! I always find myself scrolling through your blog when I need a good pint of honesty. Nobody has the right to pick apart someone else’s life as you put it so perfectly. Great post!

  • Alissa

    I have my fair share of this and some turned out really ugly cos they know me in real life and made fun of my blog, cos I was a nobody at school. I learned to filter what I read though and thankfully, they stopped. Mean girls everywhere, ugh.

  • Fashion and Frappes

    Absolutely bizarre. The kind of things people think its ok to say online! I completely agree about that argument – when you actually ask for a reasoning for this argument usually there is no justification. Its basically the same victim blaming argument that has been used against women for centuries – you were too drunk, too prudish, too slutty blah blah blah. Its completely nonsense.

  • Aimee

    Great post. I see so much hate on Youtube, blogs etc. I’m lucky to not have experienced very much myself but I see it out there and it’s horrible. People just have this toxic hate simmering under the surface, I think, that comes out in the form of horrid comments or negative messages. I wouldn’t want to live my life like that. If I don’t like something, I don’t watch/read it and move on! x

  • Jen

    Hate is one reason I won’t start a YouTube channel! Normally I don’t let things like that get to me but if I see it over and over – who wouldn’t be bothered? People get out of control and take things to another level completely. I think they’re just really insecure and need to take it out on something- not an excuse but I feel like the internet is their stress ball. They need to cut it out though and get an actual stress ball. Thank for the article!
    XX
    Jen

  • Rai

    The amount of effort people put into putting others downs still astounds me. Just imagine how lovely it would be to treat everyone with respect and love haha
    Hate unfortunately is everywhere, this post is great though, I feel like the more we talk about it the more people will know how to stop it and we will get better. xx

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