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How I feel after a few months of being 30

Hello, it’s me again. Remember when I turned 30 and had a complete meltdown? Well, it’s been a few months now and I’m feeling a…

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Hello, it’s me again.

Remember when I turned 30 and had a complete meltdown?

Well, it’s been a few months now and I’m feeling a bit more, um, emotionally stable towards the idea.

No longer do I feel like I am going to die alone in my flat and have my seven cats that eat my face to survive.

I mean, I’m not even allowed cats in this flat, so FML.

Now I’m experienced in the art of being 30, I can now tell you it’s actually not that bad.

being thirty

It feels pretty much the same as being 20 apart from the hangovers are worse and I find it harder to sleep. Sometimes my back hurts, too. That part sucks.

I don’t feel like I look much older, either, apart from my skin is a bit more like leather than it was 5 years ago. I still get told I look young and people are always shocked when they learn my age. That’s nice. It’s even nicer when I get ID’ed. This tends to happen mostly when I’m in my gym kit so I make supermarket trips a vital part of my cool down after the gym to maximize the chance of getting ID’ed. It helps me feel better, it honestly does.

The strangest thing is that I don’t feel 30. I know people always say that. I’m such a cliche, shoot me.

I feel the same way I did when I was 13, when I was 20, when I was 27. I feel the same now.

When you’re young you really do get the impression that when you’re 30, you’re going to be a whole different person. You imagine yourself as a strong person that doesn’t take any bullshit. You think you’ll be brave and stand up for what you believe in and take zero shit off anyone.

Although some of those things are sometimes true, basically you’re just the same old insecure, awkward and unsure person but the only thing that’s changed is that you’re a bit better with your poker face.

I don’t feel braver or more confident. I just feel like I’m able to handle my emotions a bit better.

I know more, too. Things like what bills I have to pay and how much it costs for electricity. Although learning that wasn’t easy and getting used being fully responsible for yourself in society was hard work. I’m still confident that there’s going to be some bill I’ve forgot to apply for.

I still have to struggle to wash the pots and get out of bed in a morning. I hate cooking and cleaning and hanging out my washing. I still have no idea how my Mum made it look so natural and easy to spend an afternoon hoovering and dusting.

I still get scared at scary movies and sometimes freak out that someone is under my bed. I still spill drinks over and trap my hair in my car door like an idiot.

We imagine such great changes in such a length of time. But the days might be long, but the years are short.

How much do you feel you have changed?

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13 comments

  1. I’m turning 30 next year and I don’t think I will feel any different, I don’t think I have at any birthday but I know people who are very anxious about it as it does wrongly seem to be deemed a milestone of what you should have done in life. I always say you are only as young as you feel and am pretty chilled about it.

    Grace
    http://www.grownupgrace.com
    x

  2. I think getting older is terrifying. When I turned 20, I freaked out. Now I’m 24, I’m trying to freak out less and see it as a growing experience.

  3. I’m heading towards 40 and I think once you get over the 30 hurdle it gets easier. Age is just a number.
    I don’t feel 37. You are as young as you feel….I still get ID’d too. Especially in Asda. lol

  4. For me turning 30 was fab, I was living with my husband (that I met just before turning 20), I knew what I wanted to do. Some thing never change, I get scared at scary movies too, I still sing and make fun. I don’t feel old and that is more important than the actual age.

  5. I don’t think I’ve changed much! When I was younger, I thought I’d feel like an ‘adult’ when I reach to my 30, however, it was just a stupid thought. I still act like a kid, eat junk food, drink till I am drunk and do all these silly things. Ah also leaving the bed early in the morning is never easy, I don’t think it will ever get any better! x

  6. Turning 30 was easy for me, but five years later I felt different…and now I almost turning 38, heading to 40 and I think it will be wonderful, I hope 🙂

  7. Great post! I’m older than any who have replied so far, and I can honestly say that though I keep crossing these so called hurdles on the way to getting older, I really can’t see what all the fuss was in retrospect. I could wish that getting older meant getting wiser or feeling more Mature, but its really just more of the same. Maybe I am a bit mellower, and certainly you get better at putting on the grown-up mask, but at heart I am still the same gawky kid 🙂

  8. I am turning 30 in a couple months. It hasn’t really hit me yet, but I am sure it will and I too will probably have a massive freak out. But I don’t feel my age at all. I feel so young, and really in no mood to settle down. I loved reading your experience, especially how gratifying it feels to be ID’d. I must try this haha. Thanks for sharing love! Xo, Ellese

    Rock.Paper.Glam.

  9. ‘I still have no idea how my Mum made it look so natural and easy to spend an afternoon hoovering and dusting.’ – I know, right?!
    I’ve changed a lot but I still don’t feel like a 28 year-old, it’s sounds like such a huge number and it seems like I was 20 just yesterday…it sucks how time flies by so fast. And yes, hangovers are dreadful nowdays, that’s one of the reasons why I gave up drinking, I can’t handle it anymore haha.

  10. Ugh, I don’t feel like I’ve changed much since I was about 20 to be honest. And I have always thought of 30 as that magic marker – that magic moment when everything makes sense, and something just clicks, and it all falls into place. As I edge nearer and nearer, though, I’m starting to realise there’s not much truth to that. I am me, and I have to accept that I suppose! x

  11. I’m pleased that the reality was not that bad. Often milestones can be daunting but once crossed you feel fine and wonder what all the fuss was about Lucy x

  12. ‘the only thing that’s changed is that you’re a bit better with your poker face.’ I love this bit, it’s so true. We start to get good at pretending we’re confident and sassy and good at life-ing as an adult cos you just gotta haven’t you? This must have been what all those ‘adults’ when we were younger were doing too! x

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