It’s not the community, it’s you.

Right then. This is a hard post to write. It’s something I’ve had in my schedule for months. But keep pushing it back. I’ve had…



Right then. This is a hard post to write. It’s something I’ve had in my schedule for months. But keep pushing it back.

I’ve had the title done and the idea in my head for ages, not quite sure how to articulate my thoughts. Careful not to hurt anyone or offend, desperate not to cause conflict.

I’m generally a pretty neutral person, you see. In most things that happen online and offline, if it’s not something personal to me or a close friend, then I’ll most likely not have an option, or see both sides of an argument.

I’m not at all a fan of posting opinions on Twitter and hardly ever join in arguments. I’m the same in real life, too.


I’ve seen a lot of people lately, say they’re tired of people being all happy and positive online. That they should grow some balls and share their opinions. Um, if I want to be happy and positive on Twitter and avoid confrontation, then I will, thank you very much. How I use a social media site is up to me. I don’t criticise others for debating, arguing and sharing their opinions. I’m not going to change who I am because people with big voices are telling me I’m wrong. That’s not right. Nobody is wrong. We’re all just different. Anyway.

In my last review at work my manager said I’m very fair and direct. I know what to say and when to say it. I know where the line is and how far to go. I’ll get straight to the point, be honest in what I say but also be sure in what I’m saying. If I’m unsure or have any doubt I’m not being fair, or I’m being a dick, then I’ll keep quiet.

I believe that you should pick your battles. There are some situations that you should just let it go and other times where you should speak up.

One thing that has been bothering me lately. Actually, I don’t think it’s been bothering me. That’s the wrong word. Let me backtrack:

One thing I’ve noticed lately has made me think ‘hey, I don’t agree with that!’.

So I’m going to talk about it.


The blogging community isn’t what it used to be.


I hate what I’m seeing in the community lately, it’s making me want to quit blogging. 

I don’t agree with these statements.

I’ve been blogging for a long time. I’ve been an onlooker for many arguments on Twitter and within blog posts. Every so often, something happens, many people get involved and then you see a tonne of passive, indirect tweets talking about the drama, about the negativity and about how awful the community is now.

Then it blows over.

So, let’s get to the title of this blogging post, shall we?

It’s not the community, it’s you.

I titled it this for one reason: I believe that your perception of the blogging community changes depending on how long you’ve been blogging and the things you learn and experience.

I would expect when most of us start blogging, we know jack shit about it. I didn’t have a clue. I would just take some shitty photos with my iPhone of my dress and post them. I’d comment on blogs, I’d get comments on mine and it was just a whole lot of fun.

After a few months, the * next to products I once overlooked intrigued me. Then I figured out that these were products that were being sent to bloggers. FOR FREE. NO WAY, LAD. FOR FREE? I didn’t know this was a thing.

It seemed like something reserved for full-time bloggers with a thousand followers on Twitter and Bloglovin. I’d look at my 14 Bloglovin followers and free things felt like a lifetime away, so I just carried on my merry way.

corinne skinnedcartree

That’s me browsing Twitter. Look how chipped my nail polish is. I’m so relatable. 

I started to notice this free product thing more, though. I noticed that some bloggers were reviewing weird things, not just clothes like they normally would. But there would be a random post in the middle of all their fashion posts about a fancy new plug for your kitchen sink that stopped food going down and made everything smell nice and washed up for you and then it did a little dance.

These were things I overlooked before, but the more time I spent reading blogs, the more I noticed it.

Some months later, I then learnt that some bloggers got paid to write about stuff. I learnt that some were making a full-time income off it, for others, it was just pocket money.

This was another revelation that changed my perception of the world of bloggers.

Then I learnt about link selling. Follow links. Google page rank. SEO. The ASA rules. Giveaway rules. Having to declare yourself as self-employed. Cookies. Blog events.

All this stuff I had no idea about before and it was scary.

Yet each time I learnt something new, it changed my perception of the blogging world. It was once this place where people shared their passions online with a very few, very popular people, benefiting from it. It turned it into something a bit harsher. Something flawed and dishonest in ways.

It’s kind of like when you’re a child, everything is fun, summer is really long and hot and Christmas is the best thing in the world. You dream of growing up and it’s exciting. But then you learn about death, murder, crime, having to pay bills and tax on a large chunk of your earnings. You learn that not all jobs are fun and that people can be really mean.

That’s what happens with me and that’s why I think a lot of people often say things like ‘blogging isn’t how it used to be’. Or ‘people blog for the wrong reason now’.

I disagree. I don’t think it’s much different compared to when I started 4 years ago.

The only difference is I know more about it.

Yeah, there are more opportunities and events for bloggers in 2016 than in 2012 – but that’s a great thing! We should celebrate this. Not snear that anyone can get sent free make-ups from the top brands now.

So it’s not blogging that has changed – it’s you. You’ve changed in the fact that you have more experience – you can spot paid posts and reviews, you get offered them yourself. You get the shitty e-mails about earning $5 from a Chinese dress site and you’re a hell of a lot more blog smart.


Let’s get to my second point around people saying the blogging community has changed into this awful beast.

It’s not the community – it’s life in general.

I’ve been a part of many online communities and there’s always been those that stand up for what they believe in, those that are quick to speak up and confront people. Which can be seen as both a good thing and a bad thing. There’s also always people that aren’t very nice. People that like to make others feel bad about themselves, people that like to gossip, laugh, joke, be passive aggressive and be a downright bitch. People are very quick to say things that will make them seem like their morals are better than yours. 

It’s not exclusive to online communities. That’s what life is like in school, at university, at work and within families.

It’s human nature.

People are different. Some get on really well, some clash. Others are extroverted, others introverted. Some are shy, others just prefer to keep to themselves then you have those that are confident. Some people are stressed out a lot and others are chill. Then you have those that like to share personal details about themselves online or with friends, things about their sex lives or mental health problems. Then you have those that prefer to keep things to themselves. Some people like to be happy and jolly all the time, others want to share the sadder parts too.

That’s a lorra lorra (said in Cilla Black sassy voice) characteristics. Put them together and you’re going to get disagreements, debates and sometimes just plain nastiness.

Our differences are what make things dead interesting, though. Don’t you think?

My thoughts are that people, both online and offline, just need to learn to be a little nicer to one another. I’ve had many friends say things publically that have been controversial. It’s okay to disagree with someone but still like them as a person. It’s okay to have a conversation about it.

We just need to do without pulling each other down and getting personal.


So, just to summarise if you can’t be arsed to read it all:

  1. As you become more involved in the blogging community and aware of how things work, you see things different.
  2. Bloggers are humans. Human nature is complicated and in any situation where people are grouped together,  there’s going to be drama.

I’ve seen a lot of people say they want to quit blogging because of how things are, lately. Nawww, don’t do that. The best thing to do is just ignore the bits you don’t like and carry on as you are.

You can only be responsible for your own actions, so keep on blogging, keep on interacting with those that uplift you and remember why you started in the first place.

I’m not a fan of negativity, arguments, and passive-aggressiveness. So I just don’t follow people who are. It’s nothing personal against them, we just want to use blogging and social media differently. I’d still happily chat to these people if we came up in a tagged conversation, or at an event or whatever. You don’t have to be best friends with everyone, or even friends.

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on this one.

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  1. Very well written! I am a new blogger and I see some of the clashing that happens on Twitter. I really agree with what you said about how it is not the blogging community it is Us. We change in the fact that we are growing and becoming wiser in what we do as bloggers. This goes for everyday life as well :).

    This was a very thought provoking post!
    Nikki O. |

  2. Other than your directness, your description of yourself could have been describing me! I tend to watch on from the sidelines rather than getting involved, unless I feel passionately or personally affected. Seeing ‘Blogging has changed’ come up on Twitter a few times has made me wonder, “what was it like before I started!?!” I’ve only been blogging for 2 years, but the only change I’ve seen is how much I know & understand about the beast. I wasn’t sure if it was a completely different ball game 6 years ago, so I’m glad to read that really, it’s people not blogging that has changed. I like to keep my social media free from nastiness. I don’t have an issue with disagreements, as long as they are conducted respectfully. If I see someone being rude or disrespectful, I will unfollow them. There’s no need for that & I don’t want to see it on my timeline. Xx

    Tania | When Tania Talks

  3. Lovely post Corinne! I am blogging now for almost 2 years and I have seen things and read things I totally don’t love, but I am learning to ignore it and that works 🙂

  4. I really enjoyed reading this post. Blogging is an interesting world as it is moving so quickly and the huge influx of new bloggers (like myself) is changing the game. That change is both a positive and negative one, and I thought your take on it was very interesting and objective.

  5. Well shit son, you just about nailed exactly what I’ve been thinking and couldn’t quite put into words.
    I definitely watch from the sidelines, I hate confrontation in”real life” so I’m not suddenly going to become a brazen keyboard warrior.
    I also don’t particularly like to share certain things with friends so I’m hardly going to do it to random strangers.

  6. I’ve only ever had one clash in two years of blogging, and it was ridiculous.. I just blocked them, I don’t see the point in arguing and arguing over something because we have different opinions. I also like to avoid big nasty situations, and tbh I never seem to see the big drama that people say happens, I seem to always miss it. The only Drama I have ever caused was with a HUGE blogger/youtuber, and it was ridiculous, it was the only time I have ever been negative in a comment. I just don’t see the point in being a b*tch. That’s not the way to make friends! The one think I would say is that I hate how the community I love are mainly London based… I am 12 hours away. NOT COOL! haha

  7. This is definitely one of the most interesting posts I’ve read this week and it perfectly sums up how I feel about these things too. I always stay away from negative people, online and offline, and try to keep my blogging community a cheerful place where everyone encourages each other. We’re all so different and that’s actually what I love about blogging, getting in touch with so many different individuals from all over the place and I think that diversity should be celebrated. I’ve been blogging for more than 10 years and yes, everything has changed but I also think that change is a great thing, there are so many opportunities these days that didn’t exist back then and it’s completely up to us how we want to use them. Great article, Corinne!

  8. I’ve definitely felt like giving up blogging lately, I see so many shitty things happen and I’m just unsure if I want to be a part of it. I see bloggers who’s all positive vibes and shit but they’re purchasing fake followers and likes (and other things that I’m not bringing up here, but seriously dodgy things). I noticed odd behaviour on an Instagram account of a big blogger, someone who’s making a living from blogging and a bloody good one, turns out the majority of their likes are fake, like around 1000 (they’re only naturally getting around 100). They have 50k followers. It’s behaviour like this that pisses me off, and it’s not one or two bloggers doing this it’s lots. And I know I should ignore it but when I see other bloggers wondering why theyre not getting the work or why theyre not good enough it genuinely depresses me. Stupid brands with their stupid ideas that numbers are important. ffs.

  9. I couldn’t agree more with everything you’ve said. I hate confrontation and unless something is affecting me directly, then I am going to let others get on with it. If something were bothering me, I’d sort it out privately. I’ve never thought social media is the place to sort shit like that.

    I’ve generally found the blogging community supportive in the short time I’ve been blogging; I’m still very new as I’ve only been at it since end of May this year.

    I’ve seen the indirect and passive tweets and it just saddens me that people have to be like that. It’s like they jump on the bandwagon first chance they get.

    Blogging for me is a pleasure, something I enjoy and something I took up to give me some purpose and focus back in my life. I have only left my house once in over 3yrs due to chronic illness and that was in an ambulance the other week. So, the last thing I want, is to get involved in petty arguments etc on social media sites.I want my blogging experience to remain pleasurable, and I will just stay away from the drama and let others get on with that.

    Like you say, the longer you’ve blogged the more your views and perception of the blogging world change. It is YOU that changes, not the community.

  10. I have been blogging for 3 years and I am still slowly learning a lot. I only found out about do-follow and no-follow links a few months back, everyday is a learning process but most importantly I am open to learning.

    This is one of the best posts that I have seen from you, Corinne and you are fair in your assessment on the situation. You’re right, it’s not the blogging community but it’s ourself that has changed because the longer we blog, the more we know. And it’s up to us to continue blogging the way that is feel right to us.

  11. This is fabulous and everything I wanted to say but could never find the words. Those people who say that the community has ‘changed’… I’ve been on the internet for the best part of 10 years in fandom forums on livejournal and what I’ve seen on twitter recently is a drop in the ocean, in a *very small area*. I’ve seen a lot of language evolve and I think the term ‘problematic faves’ fits a lot of the people I interact with on a daily basis. They’re my friends but I don’t always agree with their opinions or things they say – but being an adult is learning to move past it with minimum drama.

  12. I’ve been seeing a lot of this off late too, and it’s led me to reconsider a lot of what I do in the blogosphere. I totally agree with you though, I think it says more about the person that the blogging scene! Whilst everyone’s entitled to their opinion, I also think it’s rude to shame those who make money out of blogging. It’s an art after all that takes a lot of hard work to get to that stage!

    Sinéad ♥ fabuleuse, toujours ♥

  13. I agree with you. I think yes, things have moved on, but that’s because everyone’s moved on themselves, a lot with different intentions. And I reckon a lot of those moaning are those who’ve gone full time and so feel differently about blogging, some they might have lost the passion for it because it’s now a job, and people then relate to them differently as well as a blogger.

    It’s one of the reasons I would never give up working to have my blog full time – too much pressure to move away from what I want, and a lot of jealousy from other bloggers who want what they have.

    I do think it’s still supportive and a nice community to be in, you just need to find those you want to hang out with, and not take things personally if you take a hit on someone turning on you. Thankfully I seem to have missed any nastiness – mostly because even if I try to be controversial it never ends up as being so.

  14. I’ve only been blogging a year but what your are taking about is something that bothered me about modern society in general… That to be ‘true to yourself’ you should say everything you think & that your negative views should be out there. I don’t think this is right & that holding back from saying things that are passive aggressive, unkind or intended to do the opposite of inspire is much more preferable….&is the self I’d rather be true to .

  15. I agree with this so much, I am a sort of newish not really blogger, been blogging on and off for about 3 years but only just starting to understand and take it seriously, when I made my first blog I knew bloggers got sent stuff for reviews but when you see them having 6/7/8/9 holidays a year all with that little * next to it, you feel a little like, okay then, never mind about the little guys.
    Very well written, I feel like I’d want to say something like this but I would probably offend way too many people!

  16. This was such a brilliant post Corinne, I love how you mention everyone being different in the ‘real world’ and so it being obvious that bloggers will be different too online. It’s human nature! I suppose it goes without saying that opinions will clash and such in the world of blogging – personally speaking, I don’t think anyone should be slated for wanting to stay positive and disliking conflict, some people are just born that way (*waves arms around frantically*). ”You can only be responsible for your own actions”, very true. Great title to this post by the way!

  17. Thank you for putting this out there Corinne. I’ve given other blogs and the blogging community a long hard look lately because I’ve been considering making a change in the direction of my blog. Just as people are different, their blogging styles will be different. I don’t see the problem with people wanting to stay positive to avoid conflicts. We should choose our battles and only fight for what truly matters to us instead of every trivial little matter.

  18. Everytime I see statements like this I’m wondering why they started blogging in the first place and why aren’t they thinking of those reasons. I agree with you, now that I understand more, I see the bad parts of blogging, but this could never change the main reasons I’m blogging (document my life).

  19. Ah! I really loved this post, and I completely agree with you. I’m also the same in that I tend to just watch from the sidelines when I see arguments on twitter to avoid the conflict. There isn’t one specific point you’ve made here for me to focus in on, because they’re all true. I’ll just end with; chipped nail polish? Hand twin, you’re definitely so relatable.

  20. Great post. As a relative newcomer, it’s nice to see that my experiences aren’t specific. I blog because I love to write and that’s enough; if other people like it or not…meh!

    Keep up the good work!

  21. Completely agree with this. I do miss my more naive blogger days sometimes, but it’s also amazing how many great blogs, opportunities and people I’ve come across by learning more and being more involved with the community.

    Tina x

  22. Great post. Totally agree with all your points. I do see a lot of negativity, and drama, in the blogosphere but I’ve never thought that was any different to any other community. And definitely agree that your perception of blogging changes the longer you’ve been doing it. Like with most things. I’m sure the longer you’re an adult the more your perception changes. I’ve only been an adult for like 10 years now but I sure think it’s nowhere near as great as I’d imagined it to be! 😉 When I log onto Twitter and see drama/negativity, I just go ‘nope’ and close the app down. There’s no need to get involved, or to let it affect you in anyway. Just let it go!

  23. So pleased somebody has finally written this post, as soon as I saw the title on Twitter I was like, YEP. In addition to what you’ve said, I think there is now an added social pressure to make friends through blogging and when people don’t, they then don’t feel like they’re ‘in the community’ and it can look a bit clique-y when really it’s just that some people who have been blogging longer have had more opportunities to meet others in real life, not just on social media!
    I saw a lot of negativity around the Bloggers Blog Awards too when nominees were announced. I’m up for an award and when people were saying it’s just a glorified popularity contest I was like, hold up! Why can’t people just be congratulatory and move on? It really took away from my excitement of being nominated and that’s a real shame.
    Aaaaaaaaand that’s the end of the longest comment ever. TL;DR I agree with everything you said!

  24. Definitely agree with this not being about the blogging community (it’s really just people in general) – and basically everything in life is like that! Also loved the bit when you were like ‘I’m so relatable’, really made me laugh especially as my nail polish is always chipped.

  25. I did not know about having to declare being self-employed when you start doing PR! Does that apply to receiving money for a post or receiving product? I agree with you on how people changing can change their perspective xo

  26. Hello Corinne! I like your point of view and as you process the opinions of others, conmcuerdo at some points, sometimes people get stressed too much or very personal things are taken, it is as you say do not have to think like always and be different does not make you an enemy of anyone, I think blogging is exactly as you say over time you’re discovering how good it works and it is losing a bit of innocence on the subject!

  27. Great post Corinne! Totally agree, blogging is about people and people and things evolve over time. I’m still a secret sideline watcher, but I’m horizontally laid back in life too. Love the chipped nail pic, you are so relatable, as I sit typing with my week old chipped nail polish 🙂 H xxx

  28. This post really hit home with me. It reminds me that everyone blogs for different reasons, some to make money, some to fuel a passion and some (myself included) to preserve memories and moments online. Obviously this huge mix of motivations and as you’ve discussed different personalities is going to result in conflict! I think there is definitely a fine line between healthy online debate and frankly bullying, which is when the drama begins and everyone starts to condemn the community. We just need to be grown up and know that it’s okay to disagree. Thanks for sharing this; it’s given me a renewed perspective on why I blog.

  29. Perfectly written. You’ve addressed your title in every possible angle. Thank you for sharing this.

  30. This was a refreshing post to read. I may have not been in the community as long or as involved as you have but I’ve noticed my fair share of tweets and blog posts like this. Like you said, at the end of the day it’s all about what you want out of blogging. I don’t care what anyone else thinks but if blogging makes me happy, I’m going to keep doing it and if something/someone is trying to bother me, I turn a deaf ear to it without getting personal.

  31. Such a good post, you are so so right! I’ve only been blogging for a year but my perception of the community has changed so much since the beginning, I’ve never for one second thought the community has changed. Also I absolutely love this line…”That’s me browsing Twitter. Look how chipped my nail polish is. I’m so relatable.” best thing I’ve ever read!! xx

  32. Hit the nail on the head! I’ve never thought about it in this way, but you are so right – as we become more involved in blogging, we become more aware and well, you see things in a different light. I’ve been blogging for a number of years and tbh I don’t think it’s changed that much. The only thing that has changed is that I speak to way more people who blog, so it seems like a bigger community and with more drama (though obviously not a new thing). But yeah, that’s just human nature. I tend to just ignore it. I would never tell someone that they shouldn’t be so happy on social media, and demand to see the bad bits, but I also appreciate a little moan on there and wouldn’t hate on someone for venting. It’s just life.

  33. This is such a very insightful post Corinne.
    I’ve read some of this issues and dramas and didnt really get into detail. Seems like serious since a lot has been voicing out their opinions. But I stay at the positive side of the boat.
    Though I must admit most of the reason I am having a writers block with my blog because of what I read and see in the blogging community. The pressure is there. But then I keep asking myself why do I blog anyway? And it somehow wakes me up and give me the drive to post on my blog. Its all about perspective, purpose, and preferences. And each differs.
    I have been doing with my social accounts is cleaning out negative feeds. I have even unfollowed the news because its all negative and alarming. I prefer to read positive, happy, and motivational stuff.
    I agree with you, we need to learn to be a little nicer to one another. And respect each other.

  34. Only just came across this but yes! Cannot agree more with all of this. I’ve seen so many people say they want to quit blogging (enough to make me quit Twitter, at least for the weekend!) and I just can’t understand why. Thank you for being a voice of reason 🙂

  35. Yes! Bravo Corrine! I loved reading this post. It’s great to see someone addressing this in a more positive way. I agree that our perceptions change as we are exposed to more things in the community, I’ve definitely been there myself. That paragraph : “It’s kind of like when you’re a child, everything is fun, summer is really long and hot and Christmas is the best thing in the world. You dream of growing up and it’s exciting. But then you learn about death, murder, crime, having to pay bills and tax on a large chunk of your earnings. You learn that not all jobs are fun and that people can be really mean.” is literally me all over haha.

    I’m the same, I’d like to say I’m a positive person overall and if there was something I felt strongly about I’d probably voice it but on my channels I like my positivity to come through, sometimes I may post the odd comment on my twitter that maybe isn’t interpreted as such as my sense of humour is being sarcastic at myself or laughing at my misfortunes but I don’t think my sense of humour comes across properly in the twitter world haha but I just continue as is. I like to keep things positive for the most part but if I felt the the need to express an opinion on something or share something I would but I wouldn’t do it for the sake of it or for ‘blogging popularity’ or whatever haha. But I agree, we don’t complain about those who like to voice their opinion on their channels so why should we be made to feel like we aren’t allowed to be happy and positive on ours? Thank you for sharing this thought provoking post 😀


  36. Very well written! I don’t think people understand some of us hate confrontation, especially online. I like to think my Blog and the social accounts linked to it, portray a happy place/a positive place… because often ‘the real world’ isn’t one. x

  37. Yeah I’ve noticed a few bloggers today alone that are kinda upset that people are buying followers (which honestly doesn’t make sense in my mind, but hey I’m new at this so maybe I’ll learn ig?) But I mean, to me the blogging thing is just all about doing something you love, for the hell of it ya know? Whatever comes with it is whatever comes with it.

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