5 ways blogging has turned me into a douchebag

Blogging is bae. While normal 29 year old women are all talking proudly about their husband and 3 kids, I’m talking all gooey eyed over…


how blogging turned me into a douche

Blogging is bae. While normal 29 year old women are all talking proudly about their husband and 3 kids, I’m talking all gooey eyed over my Instagram account and 3 blogs.

But you know how normal people can get all douchy with photographs of their perfect family and big house with a garden all complete with a decking and chiminea? Wellllllll, I can be a bit of a douche too.

I‘m also pretty confident that if I had kids, they’d be all over Facebook and I’d probably start a forth blog. Mummiedcartee? Childcartree? Babiedcartree?

So yes, there are things that blogging has done to me. That’s changed me. That’s ruined me. That’s turned me in to a massssssive douche bag at times. And here’s how.

Please, if you’re easily offended by things that are supposed to be funny and taken light hearted, then you may leave. I’ll be back tomorrow with a less offensive post so see ya at 7am BST? Great. Have a nice day. 

how blogging turned me into a douche

Tweeting rage to companies.

When I’m proper pissed off at a company for it’s poor service – usually my Internet provider or a parcel service, I tweet out in rage about how mad and angry I am. And how unprofessional and awful they are.


Oh wait. I know why. It’s because I’m secretly hoping all of my 7.5 thousand followers will all reply, favourite, retweet and then cause a massive shit storm and that poor company will be like ‘oh man, we shouldn’t have messed with The Skinnedcartree. We better give her what she wants and fix her problem ASAP’.

Though it never works out like that. I may get a bit of engagement, but in the end I’m left feeling lonely and like I’ve just had a tantrum in the middle of a supermarket like a three year old, with a bunch of adult sized humans walking past thinking ‘Jesus, that awful child is a mess’.

Yes. Yes, I am a mess. U r rite.

Gym selfies.

INSTAGRAM. SNAP CHAT. I need to make myself look very busy and important, right? So gotta get dem selfies when I get on dem weight machines. Look at my gainz. Yesterday I even flexed. Secretly. While no one was watching. And used the hashtag #gainz.

Oh man, I must look like a right nob. I try to do it when nobody is looking buuuuttttt I’ve been caught so many times.

How come it’s fine to post a selfie on the internet for the whole world to see but you look like a right idiot taking it?

Business Cards.

Oh God. I’m one of those bloggers that takes herself too seriously. I HAVE BUSINESS CARDS!

You know how many times I’ve given it to anyone other than friends that already read my blog?

ONCE. Yup. That was when a man on a train heard me and a bunch of #LeedsBloggers talking about blog events, then he approached us afterwards saying her worked on for a marketing agency and asked for our e-mails. Out the cards came.

Oh, the was also the time Hayley from TeaPartyBeauty gave it to a cute singer who was doing a gig in a bar and told him to call me.

My cards don’t have my number on.

I got my cards over a year ago. Since then, I’ve changed my sight design and don’t even us that image and the same logo colours anymore. Lolz. Also the instagram name is wrong and I have about 185 of the 200 left.

I’m sorry, but to hand them out to people just seems a bit stupid. Like, how the hell do I think I am?

A million hashtags.

#fitfam #weightlossjourney #gym #girlswholift #instarunners #instadog #wiaw.

Did you know that the amount of hashtags a girl uses on social media its an indication to how crazy she is?

I’m nuts.

Internet Attachment Disorder.

When I was 19, I had the choice between two universities. I made my decision because one of them had internet in the hall rooms and the other one didn’t.

So you can’t exactly blame blogging on that one – though I did have blogs at the time – they were the livejounral/xanga type that were rarely updated.

But I still have IAD (Internet Attachment Disorder) and it’s severe, guys. I get headache if I’m away from wifi for longer than 40 minutes and I’m liable to walk into anyone because I’m checking Instagram, or ignore you because I’m reading my e-mails.


How does blogging make you a douche?

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  1. Hahaha loved this post! I’m also guilty of using loads of hashtags, I just can’t help myself! Also, a few months ago I thought very seriously about getting business cards but in the end decided against it because deep down I knew that creating them and then handing them out to probably only my friends isn’t gonna magically transform my blog into a super serious and successful business πŸ™‚ And don’t even get me started on my Internet addiction – last summer our connection in the apartment somehow broke and I went insane and begged our first door neighbours to lend us their wi-fi password so I can continue to blog normally πŸ˜€

  2. I do not have business cards and just recently I was at Walgreens this lady did not take her eyes off me when I look at her she had the courage to ask me if I was Jackie from Beautify. I was like OMG! I have a stalker this never happen before I replied yes and she said I really enjoy your blog in the same sentence she ask if I have a business card. I ask how she knew it was me she was looking at an image on her phone from my blog before getting the courage to ask. Now, I might want to get some still wondering if its worth it.

  3. Seriously, ALL of these! I hate how I can’t be away from my phone or how I feel like I need to snap and share every morsel of food I eat. I want to do it, but at the same time I don’t, but I don’t want my accounts to shrivel up and die a horrible 404 error death. Blogging is amazing, but it’s also a vicious circle at times!

    Sarah πŸ™‚

    Saloca in Wonderland

  4. I now often buy accessories and home dΓ©cor items not based on how much I like them and how they’d go with other things I own but how Instagrammable they are. #massivedouche

  5. Hahahaha! I got to give it to you for always giving me a good chuckle! I don’t think I do any of these to be honest. My IG is a mixture of both my personal and blog life, yes, I do use hashtags but not to the extreme I think? And I rarely on Twitter and no, I don’t have business cards but then again, I am small time blogger. LOL!

  6. Hah! I love this kind of post. My main douchery (a word I’ve invented for this purpose) is that I’m always attached to my phone. Permanently. To the point where i neglect my family all the time! Even I get annoyed by it. Oh, I just need to check this tweet. Oh, I’ve had an instagram like. Oh, we can’t eat yet – I just need to post this random photo of my lunch. It’s never ending.

  7. This post is bloody brilliant haha! I also suffer a severe case of internet addiction x

  8. Hahaha this post really cracked me up! I love how you make fun of yourself, something a lot of people aren’t able to do! xx

  9. I well and truly feel your pain lol. I feel like I have turned into a douche for many things, but mostly the taking photos in public, like you NEED to do it, and the lighting has to be right, and it has to fit a theme… I could go on and on lol

    Erin || MakeErinOver

  10. Point 1 made me giggle a bit – two years ago I had a really bad experience in a pub/restaurant in Glasgow, I ended up writing a blog about it to rant but I didn’t tweet them about it . . . but someone else on my twitter shared my blog post and mentioned them in it, so I got all this attention I wasn’t really looking for and all these retweets and I was mortified! YET I constantly still will try and call out bad customer service via twitter minus the actual blog post now… but feel a bit douchey for doing so. πŸ™‚

  11. I have an issue with the business cards too. I don’t have my Instagram and I have my phone number (now I don’t think it was a good idea). I use twitter to complain and I use millions of hashtags too, so it’s a thing a blogger does, so is normal.

  12. Is Internet Attachment Disorder a real thing? Cos if it is, I’m pretty sure I have that! And OMG, business cards. Yes. I made myself some when I first started. I have about 392 of them left. THEN I went and ordered 50 more when I had a redesign and logo. Like, ffs, why?! When am I ever going to hand then out? So douchey. Whilst I lol’ed reading through this, I also found myself thinking that this sounded a lot like me too. Gulp! Xx

  13. Dude. If this isn’t me lmao. I never made business cards for my blog, but I did design some for my design “business” that never left facebook!

  14. I have business cards and I actually have used them in legitimate ways, like to a friend whose sister/friend/cousin is gluten free or whatever. However they have my LinkedIn UK web address on them which will probably not work when I change my address back to the US? I don’t know. It’ll look weird for sure.

  15. Hahahaha! I am totally with you on the tweet rage! I think KLM and I have a thing … πŸ˜‰

    Ash | Liakada

  16. I’m guilty of all of the above! Seriously, even when I’m trying not to be ‘one of those blog writing types’ I can’t help but fall into the trap!

  17. My main douchebag-ness is me going to my boyfriend>
    ‘Shut up for a second {insert blogger twitter handle} just shared a post about {blank}…. I do it all the time. Tania xx taniamichele.blogspot.co.uk

  18. While this post made me laugh out loud, it is so true. I think tweeting rage to companies is the BEST one because I do it and it’s so hard not to. IMANA BITCH xx Adaleta Avdic

  19. Superb post, it would be funny to ask those around us what douchbag things we do. Mine would have to be photographing food, taking the perfect shot and the food getting cold Lucy X

  20. I don’t actually have business cards, but oh I totally agree with the rest of these haha! Especially the gym snaps and hashtags… Can’t help it!

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