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If I created my own beauty box, these are the products you’d never see.

After the joke that was the April Glossybox, which I dubbed the WANKEST BOX EVER, it got me thinking about products that make me sigh…


if i made my own beauty box

After the joke that was the April Glossybox, which I dubbed the WANKEST BOX EVER, it got me thinking about products that make me sigh when I see them in subscription boxes.

Of course, some of these are personal preference. You can’t please everyone – but there are just some products that I can’t stand to see in beauty boxes.

If I was to make my own box, these are the products you would never see in them.

if i made my own beauty box

  • Boring/neutral nail varnish. I don’t mind getting nail varnish in a box, but I always seem to end up with nudes or browns. Send nudez. Wait, I mean send me something different, like a bright orange, or glittery purple. Not something I probably already have!
  • Lipgloss. How many people do you know that hate lipgloss? It’s sticky, your hair gets caught in it and you feel too old for it when you turn around 16. Lipgloss is like lipstick for 14 year olds and it’s not often I see people say they actually like it! LEAVE IT OUT, MATE <– say this in a London accent when reading please. 
  • Sachets of product. Unless it’s a face mask, I don’t want to see no sachets in my box *sassy finger snap*. Samples are fine, but I need to get a few uses out of them to get a feel of a product. How do I know if I’m going to like a face cream after one use? I’M NOT. GET THAT SHIT AWAY FROM MEEE.
  • Hand cream. Hand cream is so boring. There’s nothing fun about it at all. I have more fun brushing my teeth.
  • Body lotion. As above. I find nothing more boring than body lotion. It don’t really class it as a beauty product. It’s more like hand wash or soap. Just boring essentials.
  • Temporary tattoos. I’m not 12. I’m also not a 18 year old festival goer that wants to wear a golden tattoo on my flat abs while sporting a floral crown wearing shorts and a crop top. Just no.
  • First chapter of a book. I can’t tell you about how mad I still am about this. Almost 2 years ago I got a chapter of a book in a Birchbox. I wanted to burn it. THE FIRST CHAPTER OF A BOOK WHAT IS THIS? If I wanted to read the first part of a book, I could just download the preview from iBooks like did with Girl Online. Just for the LOLz.

if i made my own beauty box if i made my own beauty box

I kind of want to say perfume. But that’s more because I can’t be trusted with it. If I smell a perfume I love, I WILL BUY IT.

Stay turned, as I’ll be posting a similar post of the type of products I would include if I created my own beauty box.

Now tell me what products you would never put in your box. Oh-er.

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  1. Agreed!!! What the hell are the temp tattoos all about! I have so many now, and no one to palm them off on. I think this clearly means one thing,
    Corinne to make her own beauty boxes!

  2. I’d also ban toothpaste, “intimate care” products your body doesn’t actually need, razors and tweezers (Feb’s Glossybox).
    I subscribe to beauty boxes for new, ideally full or travel sized products, things I might not pick up in the shops or can’t get in the UK. Not 7ml samples, sachets of hair masks and bloody temporary tattoos.

  3. Totally agree with you on the temporary tattoos – no thanks! I would ban bronzer/tanning products, highlighters, blush, and perfume. Birchbox US had a thing where you could check a box and they’d send you less perfume, and I liked that option. 90% of perfume smells weird on me so I always end up giving those samples away!

  4. I can’t tell you how much reading this post has made my day! Completely agree with you for me nude lippies, because they’re always a shade that make me look like a ghost and for the love of God stop sending fake tan!! As a natural honey toned mama the last thing I need is to go orange or look like I’m about to enter a bodybuilding comp lol! I’ve had a pretty poor box last month which out of 5 items 3 were facial moisturiserso all for dry skin ugh!!


  5. I used to be subscribed to a few of these boxes but always ended up with products I don’t like or don’t need so I stopped them all. Completely agree with you for the nude polishes and actually nude everything, I’m all about bright shades 🙂

  6. Temporary tattoos? That is a strange item for a beauty box. I think neutral nail polish is versatile and I have lots, so I wouldn’t be impressed with those either.

  7. Why would you ever send a single chapter of a book?!? That’s insane. And such a waste of paper! I hope they don’t do that sort of thing anymore….

  8. Yes agreed with the tattoos! Like when are we actually supposed to wear them?! Love that you’ve done this post after all your funny beauty box rants, they make me giggle xx
    Call Me Amy

  9. I have to agree with all of these! Lip gloss is just icky. They belong in tweenage purgatory with temporary tattoos!

  10. Love, love, love this post! Omg, a chapter from a book…?!?! You almost made me spit out my drink…lol! I completely agree, especially with the tattoos, body lotion, and hand cream. As for fragrance samples, I don’t like them unless they’re an extra, and not counted as one of the items, since they’re so freely available here….


  11. I couldn’t agree more with temporary tattoos and lip gloss! I hate, as in absolutely hate both in subscription boxes!

  12. Perfume samples used to really annoy me in subscription boxes! I never liked them and they just seemed like an excuse not to put an actual usable product in. I also hate it when they put repeat products in. I don’t mind different products by the same brand, but the exact same Philip Kingsley hair conditioner again and again and again….I’ll tell you where they can put that conditioner!

    Sarah 🙂
    Saloca in Wonderland

  13. Great idea for a post! I dabbled in buying beauty boxes a few years ago but I signed up for one and it stopped going after I’d received two boxes, and the next one I signed up for folded after I received one box. Am I a curse for beauty box businesses???

    Regardless, I agree with your choices here – I would not appreciate receiving any of these options! And the book chapter??? Ludicrous!

  14. So agree, sachets are a total let down and a waste. I love themes boxes where the contents changes based on the theme. Perfume would be a good one Lucyx

  15. Hahaha, I can’t believe you received the first chapter of a book in a Birchbox!! What were they thinking?? I completely agree with everything you have said. I signed up to Glossybox once and stuck out two boxes then promptly cancelled the subscription. I would much rather spend the money on a product I would actually like to buy. In one of my Glossybox’s I received shower gel. SHOWER GEL!!! x
    Louise |

  16. Corinne, I laughed out loud reading this. I’ve never tried one of the many “beauty boxes” yet because of all the reasons you just listed. And a chapter of a book? Whaaaat???? I’m picky when it comes to my beauty products. I like to read all the ingredients, then decide. I’m more of a person with a small stash of good products, than someone with piles of everything-under-the-sun. I don’t need 100 nude nail polishes. Just one.

  17. I don’t mind the hand creams – not the most exciting but at least quite useful.
    First chapters of books and temporary tattoos, on the other hand, can fuck right off.

  18. I’m now trying not to wake my boyfriend laughing by what I would or wouldn’t put in my box!!
    I’ve never had a beauty box but I can definitely agree with your suggestions!!

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