Hey you mucky devil, I didn’t mean THAT first time.
I meant the good old passage into women hood. The first time Aunt Flo came to visit. When Mother Nature decided it was time for the massacre at the Y – yeah, okay, that’s kinda gross.
Your first period.
I remember being in year 6 at school, around 10 years old, when we had our first period talk. The class was split up into girls and boys. They spoke to the boys about sperm and condoms, and they spoke to us girls about periods and pads. We learnt about puberty and what would happen to our bodies as we grew up and it all felt very exciting but scary.
We moved up to high school and slowly, girls started getting their periods. It was a big deal and there were many girls that told their friends in confidence and, well, we all know how kids are dicks. Like, awful dicks. This meant that a lot of the time, this confidence was broken and it became gossip. Ohh, Amy started her period, hahahahahaaha.
When we got a bit older, around 13 and 14, it wasn’t that big of a deal because almost everyone had their period by now and it was just normal.
I was in year 10, I was 14 years old and being a July baby meant I was one of the younger ones in school. Most of my friends were 15 now and had their period.
It’s funny how a few years ago, it was so embarrassing to have your period, but now it was embarrassing to not have your period.
Honestly, I always felt so behind my friends, maturity wise. I felt chubby, awkward, my boobs were, well, just fat because I was a bit of a chubster. There was a point where I got laughed at because I didn’t wear a bra and the girls in PE knew. I was still wearing those crop top things that had my little pony on with matching knickers while my friends all were in C cups. I eventually asked my Mum to buy me a bra and she did. It was a double A, but it made me feel like an adult.
Desperate to fit in, I lied to my friends and pretended I had my period. Every so often, I’d casually mention I had stomach cramps, just so I wasn’t dubbed one of those girls that wasn’t yet a women.
On bonfire night of the year 2000, I was at my brothers house as they were having a bonfire party. I went to the toilet and noticed a TINY bit of blood. I thought that maybe this was it, but I had imagined rivers – not this tiny spot that I could barely see.
Nothing much happened that night, but the next day, well, let’s just say I’m a heavy flow and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I knew I had to tell my Mum but it scared me a bit. She was in the kitchen and I went in and I said ‘Mum, I came on last night’ and it was such an awkward thing to say.
She told me that she had a dream the night before about me starting my period. She bought me some pads and also and told my Dad that I had ‘become a women’ and it made me die a bit inside. Ok, it made me die a lot inside.
Right after my first period, we had another sex talk with school. This time we learnt about tampons. I remember my best friend used tampons and I was scared they would hurt. We were given a pack with some pads, panty liners and some lite and regular tampons.
Because I was quite heavy, my the time my second period had come around I was starting to wish I was still a kid and didn’t have this stuff to worry about.
Even though pads are thin and people can’t see them on you, you can still feel them there and it bugged the hell out of me. I was sure that everyone knew I was on my period, like there was a big flashing signpost saying PERIOD and an arrow pointing right to me.
This was also the time when I was reading Shout magazine and it had an agony aunt section. It was aimed at girls around 11-15 years and there were often questions about periods. I remember one question was asking about tampons how to use them and the reply was to basically go to the bathroom with a packet of tampons and practice.
It took a while and even when thought I got it right, I hadn’t. It was awkward and I could feel it.
About 3 periods later, I had mastered the art of using tampons with an applicator and it felt so freeing to no longer feel paranoid about wearing pads.
Seriously, tampons are an absolute God send. I have no idea how some women don’t ever use them!
It wasn’t until a few years later that I learnt to use non-applicator tampons, and then I never looked back.
So yeah, get your tamp on!
So now you’re probably wondering why I’m talking about periods. Well, I was recently sent a trial from Sanitary Owl – a monthly subscription box that makes your period a bit easier.
You pick what items you want from various brands, pads, tampons and panty liners and then they send you a custom box. Prices start from £4.99 and you can get your own from here.