lifestyle

Dating Advice for Men // How not to drive us crazy.

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Dear Men,

So, here’s the thing about dating you. Some of you drive us women nuts. And I mean the crazy, psycho, WTF kind of nuts.

I’ve seen it happen to even the most logical, intelligent and sophisticated women around.

I’ve seen it happen to my friends. Who, on a whole are great, stable people. But something happens when you men get involved. They lose it.

I’ve even seen it happen to me. And I like to think I’m pretttttty laid back!

I’ve spoken to some of you male humans before about psycho girls. About  how you can spot the crazy ones and avoid us. About how we’re unpredictable and I just want to set a few things straight.. in the defence of crazy women everywhere.

It’s not us, it’s you. 

The thing is – women tend to be driven by emotion more than men. They also have a tendency to doubt themselves, fear the worst and be a little insecure.

This can be for many reasons. Like, they might have been cheated on in the past, or had a relationship that felt secure and loving abruptly end with no warning, or simply be phased out.

Or they could just be new to dating and be nervous.

Or they could just really like you. I know, fucking mental, isn’t it?

So I just wanted to give you some ideas of some of the things you do that might cause the girl you’re doing to got a bit nuts. And what you could do to ease her mind a little. That’s assuming you want to.

I’d also love any input from men in the comments below – anything a women can do to stop appearing like a nutter? Or how should just chill the fuck out? The floor is all yours.

Text her back.

Hey, even sometimes text her first.

I think most men don’t understand the power of the text message. This power is often multiplied by Whatsapp and it’s blue ticks of DOOM. The ticks that tell us you’ve read our message and haven’t replied. That let us see when you were last online. And it can drive us nuts if we’re already unsure how you’re feeling about our potential relationship.

You don’t need to text us every second of the day – if you’re busy just let us know. Nothing wrong with a ‘hey, sorry I’ve been busy’ text. But when you start to go a day or two without checking in, it can make us feel a bit nervous. And that’s when the desperation can start to show if we’re really into you. Because we just want to know you’re thinking about us and that you care about what we’re up to that day.

Have the next date planned.

If our last date has gone well – let’s organised the next on either on the date or soon after via text. This makes us feel a lot more reassured about where we stand. Hey – if I know when I’m seeing you next, I’m not even too bothered if I don’t have a text for a day or two!

Confirm our plans.

The day before, or the morning of the date – please check in to ask if we’re still on for the night.

There is nothing worse than getting ready for a date that’s not going to happen. We need to know we’re still on and it’s scary to send that text confirming it!

I asked one guy if we were still on for a date, and he replied with ‘?”. He said he had asked me when he was drunk and forgot. He had plans to play cricket instead! That left me feeling embarrassed, hurt and well, like an idiot!  We never got to that fourth date… Since then, I’ve always be terrified of asking if we’re still on for a date!

Also stick to the plans! I once made plans to see someone for a second date on a Saturday evening, he texted to say he would be a bit late and if we could meet a little later, to which I said YES, that’s fine – what time? I had a shower, did my hair, makeup, got dressed.. had no text until the next day at 3am saying he basically went out with his friends.

Thanks for letting me know!

Flirt a little.

You don’t need to get heavily sexual on us, but the occasional flirty message can really make our day. So don’t be afraid to be a bit cheeky. It’s cute.

I think I’ve fell into the trap too many times of not flirting with guys soon enough to the point where doing so, would just feel unnatural, like I was putting myself out there!

Give me some indication you like us, GOOO ONNN!!!

Go in for a kiss.

Please. By the second date, or third at least. If we’ve been on a date and I agree for another, that means I like you, or at least wouldn’t mind putting my mouth on yours – so kiss me, or give me some physical indication you like me!

Let us know you’re not seeing other girls.

Unless you are – of course, then don’t.

But if you’ve stopped looking for other girls and arranging dates with others, it’s nice to know.

I always feel a bit of a fool because when I arrange a date with someone, I won’t exchange numbers or start talking to someone new. It doesn’t sit right on my conscious. I know that’s not right for everyone, and I’ve read articles that encourage you to date around to find the best options – but it’s not for me.

And though I realise I can’t dictate who you talk to, or expect you stop flirting with other girls until we commit to a relationship – it’s going to bother me if I’m dating someone who is dating other people. I can’t stop you, but I can’t help it making me feel a little.. inadequate and hurt. So it’s nice to know you’re not eyeing up other girls.

Don’t ghost me.

Oh God. Not again! What is it with you guys that go from wanting to see me again, from texting me constantly to a cold silence.

It starts the same.. always sending a text first, then the replies get shorter, then you just don’t reply at all and then I have to think about putting my dignity on the line here by texting you AGAIN.

I’m not a child or a toy, I’m a fully grown human with feelings and emotions. You don’t get to mess me around like that. If you don’t want to see me again, then just tell me so I can stop wasting my time on losers like you!

Sheesh. What’s wrong with you men?

I’m actually starting to wonder, is something wrong with me?

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1. noun: a female blogger that writes about her own experiences, observations and opinions. 2. verb: to act like a complete idiot or to do something stupid. e.g: She did a Corinne.

21 Comments

  • Kaitlynn Marie

    Dude. This post is like one of the biggest reasons I avoid dating altogether. It’s just so damn complicated! Ugh. But thanks for the laugh 🙂 (ps, there’s nothing wrong with you!)

    -Kaitlynn

  • Jackie Harrison

    Corinne I almost choke drinking my tea reading this is funny but so true great tip for these guys to read and take notes.

  • gail

    Oh my god the absolute truth! There is nothing worse than not getting a text back, I know a few who have done it and it made me feel so uneasy… Although I have to be honest, I’m usually the one who confirms its all still on. I can’t get sorted unless I know for definite there are plans in place. I can’t really flirt, its a one of my biggest pains in life, and I can feel so uncomfy when people do it to me, I have no idea why. But ugh, just all of this. ALL OF IT.

  • Ela

    You just pointed out everything that would piss me off! Men just can’t think straight and they are really impossible to understand. Every guy should read this post and see where they do wrong. At the office there’re so many guys, when I hear the way they talk us (one said unstable creatures…wt*), it really makes me sick. They just hate me for pointing out the things they are wrong, oh well who cares 🙂 So there’s nothing wrong with you, it is just men! x

    http://www.elabellaworld.com

  • Becky

    Honestly, these are mostly just requests that men act like decent human beings and that they remember you’re a decent human being too. Like the stuff about “forgetting” plans or cancelling them at the last minute? I wouldn’t only be pissed off if it were a date – if my best friend did that I’d be angry with her. It’s not crazy, it’s just expecting basic common courtesy.

  • Sophie

    Some really good points here. As someone who’s been with the same person for over 11 years, I’d be totally bewildered if I suddenly had to step into the world of dating. That’s why I think consistency and honesty are so important when you’re seeing someone romantically. I’d want to know exactly where I stood with the other person, what they expected from me and generally not to be messed about!
    xx

  • May

    Oh my GOD. YES. Men are CLUELESS about text messaging, aren’t they?! I’ve got a steady boyfriend at this point but, seriously, he still leaves me yelling in frustration from his odd texting habits. Gah! And the plans thing! Women have lives too, good GRIEF.

    May | THE MAYDEN | bloglovin’

  • Bash Harry

    …To be honest, this is dating advice for me.

    My boyfriend tells me I suck at texting because I rarely answer nor do I use emojis…Also, because I am not romantic at all, and he always has to initiate it. Hahaha, I’m lucky to have a boyfriend like him who literally waits for my call Hahahaha! ….Because I need to confirm our plans hahahaaha

    xx Bash | H E Y   B A S H | bloglovin’

  • Laura

    ah, i do hate men who always seem to have a story of a ‘crazy’ ex/girl they met/someone. i mean, i’m sure there’s actually women who would be seen as ‘crazy’ by other women as well, but basically every time you hear a story like that you know the man has done something to evoke the more irrational behaviour in the woman. how can it be so hard to be a decent human being, haha! (that being said, i’m definitely the kind of a person who’ll not text back and be a bit difficult..) xx

  • Sarah

    You’re not crazy! The points you make work for both sides though. Yeah, we want the guy to in for the kiss, but some men might be feeling just as nervous and anxious as you and would rather you went in for the kiss first. Though ignoring, cancelling, ghosting and multiple dating is bad dating etiquette for boys and girls. I would be mortified if a guy I liked did any of this to me – but equally if I had a female friend doing it to a guy. Its all about give and take, both sides should be playing fair and square!

    Sarah 🙂
    Saloca in Wonderland

  • Kezzie

    Brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I remember in the January after the August when my husband and I started going out, he didn’t text me for a week! I texted him a few times and he just didn’t reply! I was so paranoid about it! He was stressed and depressed over not having a job! I felt like utter crap for a week and he didn’t realise how much I was freaking out. I don’t think I even told him how crazy I felt that week!!!
    x

  • Aimee

    Although I’ve been coupled up for a while, I remember being ghosted before I met my OH. It’s such an awful feeling. You don’t understand why suddenly, after seeming kinda keen, they’ve gone silent. And you feel embarrassed as you text them a few times then decide it’s best to let it slide. Ugh it sucks. Men can be total dickweasels sometimes! Scuse my language! X

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