If you’ve met me in real life, then you might have noticed that I’m awkward. Especially at first.
I’m recognised at work as an awkward that would rather be left alone. They know my social skills are probably on par with that of a spoon and sometimes you can probably get more conversation out of a wall. Though to be honest, I’m not sure if I’m just rubbish at conversating with humans or I just don’t like Muggles. I enjoy silence and I get frustrating if I’m trying to do something and people interrupt me to ask how I’m doing. Like, why are you talking to me when you can clearly see I’m trying to Whatapp all my internet friends? Rude.
Anyway, as a self-identified awkward person – hey, I feel like A LOT people think they’re awkward so LETS ALL HIGH FIVE, I wanted to put together a list of things that make me feel extremely awkward.
- When you’ve already said HELLO to someone today but then walk past them again. Oh no what do I say this time?
- Opening a door for someone who turns out to be too far away and then they feel pressured to walk faster.
- Welcoming someone in a group setting who seems to be hugging everyone and it’s almost your turn..
- When someone asks you if you have a boyfriend.
- When someone invites you somewhere and you really don’t want to go and make too many excuses and then feel weird.
- When you sneeze in public.
- When you tell a joke and nobody laughs but you.
- When you can’t understand what someone is saying so just smile and laugh a bit and hope that was the right response.
- When someone phones you and you let it ring off and send a text 10 minutes later asking why they called. Is there actually away to delete the ‘phone’ app?
- When you order the same meal as your friend in a restaurant.
- When you have a voicemail. I don’t know why this makes me feel so awkward but listening to voicemails just FILLS ME WITH DREAD.
- When someone asks if you like their new tattoo and you hate tattoos.
- When someone has a hair cut and you probably should compliment them but you don’t.
- When you’re stuck in traffic and look into the car next to you and they catch you looking at them.
- When you try to parallel park and totally fail and there are people watching.
- When you’re THAT person that’s blocking someones way out of a junction during rush hour.
- When you’re taking a gym selfie and someone catches you.
- When you don’t know someones name but feel like you’ve let the conversation go on too far and can’t ask them.
- When someone asks you if you want one of their sweets and you do but you say no anyway.
- One someone gets your name wrong and calls you CONNIE for several years at work. True story.
- When someone says they’ve found you on Instagram and you try not to think of all the gym selfies.
- When there’s a knock at the door and you’re wearing a giraffe onsie.
What makes you feel awkward?