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Online Dating // What Type is He?

Online dating can be a lot of fun. It also can be.. weird as fuck. But not as weird as it was, say a few…

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Online dating can be a lot of fun. It also can be.. weird as fuck.

But not as weird as it was, say a few years ago. More and more people are finding partners online and some of them actually work out!

Seeing as I am now basically Taylor Swift (but not as thin and pretty and tall and talented and amazing), I wanted to put together a list of different types of men I’ve come across online…

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Mr Non-Conversation Holder.

You know this type – the guy that says ‘hi’. Then ‘how are you’. and it’s just.. so.. boring.. and.. then.. the conversation dies and you just feel so MEH about the whole thing you can’t even be bothered to try.

Wonder if he’s thinking the same?

Mr Man of the Moment.

If you’ve been on Tinder, you might know what moments are – they are basically pictures you share with all of your matches.

Generally, Mr Men of the Moment’s only upload photos that fall into one of the following categories:

  • The Workout Selfie.
  • The Dick Pic.
  • The ‘I’m in bed come snuggle’ Pic.
  • The ‘NO ONE EVER CHATS ON HERE WHATS THE POINT’ pic.

Mr Chat Up Line.

Oh, I’ve had some amazing chat-up lines sent to me – here are some actually real ones I’ve had, right from the screen shot archives of my phone!

  • Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot?.
  • Hello, I’m a thief and I’m here to steal your heart.
  • I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.
  • Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got FINE written all over you.

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These are just a few – to be honest I quite like a funny chat-up line!

Mr YOU’RE SO IGNORANT.

These are the guys that send you a message and if you don’t reply IMMMEDIATELY, they, send another one calling you ignorant.

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That first guy even blocked me for not replying 15 minutes after his original message, the funny thing was, I would have totally replied to him before he had a hissy fit. I thought girls were meant to be the crazy ones?

Mr Horny.

So, you’re having a casual conversation and suddenly he slips it in there ‘God, I’m so horny, what you wearing?’. Or even worse…

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Yes, these are really messages sent to me. One with a guy that seemed wonderful until he wanted picture. Please note that a day after I said no, he sent me a picture of his man parts anyway.

Mr First Time.

This is the guy that tells you that you’re the first girl he’s sent a message to. Really?

It seems like everyone I talk to online have never been on a date with someone they’ve met online, or they’ve only been on dating sites for a week!

Mr Long Distance.

Lately, there seems to be in influx of fit men that are visiting Leeds just for a weekend. Every other message I get seems to be ‘I’m just here for a night, I’m from London’.

Well, fantastic. Enjoy your stay, you beautiful man. Dick.

Mr Let’s Meet.

This is the guy that talks to you for a bit, then asks you on a date the same day.

DING DING DING, this guy is the winner.

Because you need to meet them quick if you’re serious about dating, with how quickly things seem to happen online, you don’t know how long you’re going to hold someones attention for. Or how long they’ll hold yours..

So, if any guys are out there – if you like a girl, just ask her out before one of you move on.

Have you tried online dating? What types of men have you come across?

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28 comments

  1. I never did online dating it kind of scary you do not now who is behind that computer and what their real intentions are.

  2. I’ve never tried online dating but I did meet my other half through a mutual friend on Twitter! We chatted for about 6 months before we met and we’ve now been together over 3 years, and we get married in just under 4 months! It definitely can work!

    1. Oh wow, that’s so sweet! I’ve heard so many good stories, but also many bad ones too. I guess you’ve got to chance it. I ain’t getting any younger, you know!

  3. I met my husband the traditional way but some of my friends have told me crazy stories about their online dating adventures. A few have actually found love online.

  4. OMG, the audacity these men, unbelievable. I did have a really good chuckle while reading though and rolled my eyes at some of the lines. Haha! My husband and I met through a Facebook game, a very stupid game and we did the whole long distance relationship thing for more than a year before finally met in real life. Skype was a saviour. There are sincere and good men online but they are rare, you’ll just need to comb through all the dicks before meeting the good one. xx

  5. Hahahah! I loved this post! I really wonder why guys send such things like “want to shag?” does that really ever work for them? ugh

    Ash | Liakada

  6. OMG I have my fair share of these. The worst was, I really liked this guy and we talk almost everyday on video calls and we just connect. Then found out about his past, that he has a girlfriend, and that he’s a real psychopath, he still threatens me once in awhile but it was not as scary as before. I’m just glad he lives in another country.

  7. this is hilariously true, my particular favourite is the guy who used the word ‘ignorant’ mere minutes after sending his first message. what a weirdo. online dating can be great fun but there are way too many idiots to sift through first x

  8. As a bloke I don’t know whether to feel depressed by my entire gender or relieved I don’t quite fit into any category – hopefully! Never know if it’s ok to do the ‘let’s meet’ thing early in case you seem too eager. It’s a minefield! Great blog 🙂

  9. Hahaha, I love that you have shared your own screenshots, shows that it really does happen to everyone!

    Why do we put ourselves through it? One day I’ll meet Prince Charming, right, RIGHHT?

  10. Oh christ, online dating seems way worse than it was two years ago! Why would someone block you 15 minutes after messaging?! I hope I never meet any of these men… And huge yes to the ones that actually want to meet, that’s how you do that! Good luck with the search 😉

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