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#OOTD // Let’s talk about death

Dress: c/o OASAP Shoes: c/o LoveoyShoes Ok. Some things about the world really distress me. I was talking to a work colleague last week and…



Dress: c/o OASAP
Shoes: c/o LoveoyShoes


Ok. Some things about the world really distress me.

I was talking to a work colleague last week and he thinks I belong in a mental institute.

I think the words ‘there are places you can go, you know’ were used.

So one of the things that blows my mind is death.

I have a lot of dreams about dying, I spend a lot of time thinking about it to the point that I feel so scared of dying that I want to die just so I don’t have to think about it anymore. Hi Drama Llama 🙂

I’m jealous of that are comforted by the belief in some sort of afterlife. A God, a heaven, a place of eternal joy. I tried so hard to believe in God when I was younger, but I just can’t. God, if you’re out there, give me a sign!

The thing that scares me about death is the non existence. I can’t comprehend that I simply will no longer be. That my thoughts, energy, experience and feelings will just stop. That there will be no consciousness.

I read a quote a few weeks ago that I think was meant to comfort me. But it made me feel worse.

I can’t for the life of me (lol) find the quote, but it went something like this:

No one ever speaks of the turmoil and torture before birth, so why would I feel it after death.

Which is a great point, really. Think of everything that happened before we were born. All the time that had passed, all the people that had lived. All the wars, the loves, the inventions, the THINGS THAT HAPPENED. You weren’t aware of it.

So that must be what death is like. But I just can’t comprehend it. I can’t comprehend that all this life inside of me, all these memories and thoughts and feelings and secrets will just.. go. I don’t want to cease to exist. I don’t want to be gone. I don’t want to NOT KNOW. It makes the world seem like such a waste. It makes my life and everything I do feel so.. pointless.

Even if you were to leave a legacy behind, that would also one day be forgotten. And one day the world will get consumed by the sun, eaten by aliens or hit by a crater. Then even the things we leave behind will be gone.

I want to be a vampire and live forever. BITE ME EDWARD. When I talk to people about this, they say they don’t want to live forever. What do you mean you don’t want to live forever? ARE YOU CRAZY?

I feel like everyone is totally okay with the thought of death apart from me. Everyone is always like ‘but it happens to everyone’. Like that’s supposed to make it better.



Please say something to make me feel better.

If any vampires are reading, e-mail me. I’m serious.



  1. In one point of life, we will think about death…. In your case ppl might thought too soon….
    But its unavoidable, so why not asking questions about it and whats its gonna be for each person… A natural one would be perfect for me, but still it remains a mystery!

  2. Aw bless you! I kinda used to hate that idea too, that once you’re dead that’s it. But I have a really nice way of thinking of it now and explaining it to people, not like religion but something real to believe in. I’m getting emotional just thinking about it haha. I think this way because I’m a scientist, that’s where all this has come from. I just remind myself that at one point nothing existed, the atmosphere on the earth was different, all living things today are descendant from that first living cell. We all come from one place, and over time we have evolved and multiplied but all the atoms (oxygen, hydrogen etc) are the same. It’s like what Mufasa tells Simba – when we die, we are buried into the ground and become the grass, then the antelope eat the grass, then the lion eats the antelope and so on. IT’S THE CIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIFE. So my whole comfort thing comes from real life science and a Disney film. I personally find it amazing that when I die and my body disintegrates, my atoms may grow into whatever next! Could be a tree, food for a bird, a cat, another human! Maybe part of a rock or something 🙂

    Sorry for long ass comment haha, it’s something that fascinates me! xo

  3. The top absolutely amazing and the print so perfect my type of style you look so trendy and fabulous in it also like how you pair it with the leggings.I do not talk about death since I encounter it twice in my life and I try to live my life to the fullest in a positive way it must be a good reason why I’m still here.

  4. Loving the print on this dress lovely!

    I’m not a huge fan of talking/thinking about death but I like how you’ve approached the subject 🙂

    Gabby xo

    Blog – What She Buys / Instagram / Twitter

  5. I am kind of relieved I’m not the only one who thinks like this! I’m so scared of dying, and of the pain of dying, even though I know I’ll be dead right after so I can’t be upset about it, its still so scary. My boyfriend isn’t scared of death at all and I don’t understand it. I am scared of EVERYTHING. Your texts did make me laugh though, especially about the hosting fees. You aren’t alone drama llama! But when you do find Edward for some biteing time invite me plzzz? 🙂 x
    p.s. the dress is a beaut!

    1. Haha, I’ll invite you for sure! I wish I wasn’t scared. I hope I’m one of them old people that feels like it’s my time and wants to die.

  6. Omg! I think about death too and at night I get so much anxiety in case I die. It’s a terrible thought but I get som many of the same thoughts as you! Like, What actually happens after life? Scary thoughts. I wish I could make you feel better but God, I’m just like you. haha. x xx

  7. My personal view is that death does not exist, that life is a stage that ends with death, but death is the way to another dimension, I do not think it’s all over here, I do believe in God or an energy more powerful than ourselves, I believe in Karma, even in past lives, is a bit confusing but I also ground meditate much about life and death especially at night before bed, think I have not come to this world in vain, I have to send someone so no more is what makes no sense, I think we’re here for something and to something, kisses Corinne!

  8. I’m not sure if I have any comforting words tbh. I tend not to think about death all that often. If there’s one thought like this the preoccupies my mind, it’s more related to being invisible or abandonment. Then we’re talking years of history and that I probably need therapy to work through it haha

  9. I think you will find it rather enjoyable to read a bit of Nietzsche – he talked about death in several works including the Twilights of the Idols & Thus Spoke Zarathustra, which I adore. x

  10. I kind of take comfort in the fact that if anything happens to me and I die I won’t actually remember it anyway. Like I won’t realize. So there’s no point really dwelling on it because it literally will not matter! 😀 It’s interesting to think about, though.

  11. I think it’s pretty normal to be a little paranoid about death. It’s not a pleasant thought/subject and it will never be. I have recently have been worrying about it too, but not so much for myself but for my dad. He’s lost 2 of his close friends and he’s pretty broken about it. It’s not easy to lose his friends one by one…and in another way, it’s also an indication that his time may be up soon too. But it’s inevitable and I think living each day like your last is the way to go.

    Reflection of Sanity

  12. You just need to enjoy your life and live it so that when you’re gone people remember you in the way you want to be remembered.

    Lizzie’s Daily Blog

  13. Let’s lead on the positive your dress is beautiful love the design in the middle. This is something I have first hand experience with but it is different for everyone. When people die around you, you will be amazed at how resilient and strong you are. Is it shit? Yes are there moments when something will happen and remind you of the person and you will sit like a small child wailing, while others who don’t know why you are crying think you are nuts. Yes. But the comfort should be you do live on on the people who you have touched their lives, family, children. I see my dad staring back at me when I look in the mirror when I say something and have morphed into my parents. When my neice smiles and is the spitting image of a grandmother she will never know or meet. You have to figure out what you are scared of. Do you think it will hurt, that you are sad that the world won’t stop on your passing or that you haven’t done all that you want to? Think less of dying and get busy living. You have lots to offer the world and experiences to have. There is one certainty in life for all rich or poor we all die and you can’t escape it so try and embrace it Lucy x

    1. I’m more scared of becoming nothingness. Simply not being here. Also missing the newest iPhones and seeing where technology goes etc.

  14. I personally want to live forever lol. Just the thought of seeing the world in the future amazes me

    check out my newest post

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