#socialbloggers 22 – Blog You vs Real You
Well this was one of my favourite #socialbloggers chats ever. We spoke about the way you portray yourself on your blog.
I guess it can be a very tricky thing to answer and I am sure there are various opinions on how you should portray yourself and your life online.
I think there is a big difference between pretending you are something you’re not and protecting your private life. I’m sure most people will portray a better version of themselves, or at least, themselves when they are at their best.
I know I’ve had hard times while I’ve been blogging, really fucking horrible times to be honest. Personal problems, work problems, relationship problems and general life problems and I’ve never spoken about them on my blog. I’ve got on with my posts as usually acting like nothing was wrong. Nobody would ever know, apart from a few of you who I talk to privately.
That’s not because I’m faking who I am.
It’s just like how I went to work on each of those shitty days and got on with my job like nothing was wrong.
There are just some things about me and some problems I face that I don’t want people to know about. Whether online or offline.
I try to keep to one rule when it comes to my blog:
Never post anything you wouldn’t want your Mum, manager or work colleagues to read.
There have been times when I’ve been on the fence about talking about some issues, but have always backed out. It can be a very brave and liberating thing to be open and honest about certain topics, but if doing so makes you feel on edge, nervous or feel too exposed, then don’t do it. If it doesn’t feel right, then don’t post it. Once it is out there, then it’s easily available for anyone to read. It can be copied, tweeted, e-mailed, sent to friends, others and all sorts. You need to be sure you’re okay with that.
I try to ensure that everything I post, I wouldn’t mind being read by any of my staff, friends or family.
Apart from any personal problems, I am pretty much myself. I’m just a person at the end of the day and I have bad habits, I sleep too much and don’t clean my room as often as I should. I’m really shit at removing those cardboard tubes from finished toilet rolls from the bathroom. I take about 30 outfit photos to pick only 4. I get drunk and make a fool of myself and I promise to lose weight but I often find it difficult.
I’m silly, I’m giddy, I’m intelligent, I’m awkward, I’m creepy, I’m easily frustrated and I take jokes too far.
Who are you?
Q1: Do you feel an expectation to ‘be’ a certain way on your blog? #socialbloggers
@bloggerforums In the beginning when you are trying to figure out ‘what blogger you are’ then yes but you figure it out #socialbloggers
— Becky Beloved (@beckybeloved) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums not really. I am who I am and I think my personality comes through a lot. #socialbloggers — Kendwy Valdez (@Mindofkiwi) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I used to think I had to be all smiles all the time. But I’m glad I don’t feel pressure anymore! #socialbloggers
— Joelle (@Joelle_o) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums in a way, at the beginning of starting out, yes. But now, your style of writing shows your real personality. #socialbloggers — Lilly (@heyhellolilly) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I suppose so, in a way. I’ve built up a very specific image of myself I think, but it comes naturally to me #socialbloggers
— Becky Bedbug (@BeckyBedbug) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums hard question, as I am a fairly new blogger but I just write my thoughts and be myself. #socialbloggers — Style Storms (Amy) (@stylestorms_) July 19, 2014
I am just myself. Pretty sure regular readers get that I can be erratic. It’s all just me @bloggerforums #socialbloggers
— Sophie in the Sticks (@sophieintsticks) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I kinda feel like I have to censor myself a little more, because I want my blog to reflect a good image of me. — jess (@olivineeyes) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Im sick of having to conform with what people think is right, If I wanna moan on my blog/twitter I will. I’m human afterall x
— Beth Bradley (@BethBlogsBeauty) July 19, 2014
Q2: Are the things you wish you could talk about but think you shouldn’t?
@bloggerforums A2: Not really! Mine is a personal style blog and the only things I talk about are fashion and style #socialbloggers — Sarmistha Goswami (@sarmistha_LBF) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums anything controversial #socialbloggers
— charley pearce (@thisischarley) July 19, 2014
Family, personal things, politics, religion, too much detail about future plans. It’s annoying @bloggerforums #socialbloggers — Sophie in the Sticks (@sophieintsticks) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums A2. I’ve spoken about some really personal things on my blog but now I’ve started to think twice #socialbloggers
— Yazmin (@YazzysCorner) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I used to write personal posts but people I knew from school would read and then tweet me about it so I deleted them. — Beth Bradley (@BethBlogsBeauty) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I feel wrong posting about my M.E., there’s so much mis-information I don’t want to add to, plus it’s awkward #socialbloggers
— Sally (@Wheelingalong24) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums aha literally was just tweeting this- deffo depression and anxiety. Despite lots of bloggers talking about it #socialbloggers — Amber Love (@AmberLove146) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Everybody has to find their limits that they want to show and therefore what is on their blog & social media #socialbloggers
— Mathilde Mgi (@MathildeMgi) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I’d love to write about my feminist views but they’re in contrast to the whole beauty industry ethos sadly #socialbloggers — Simone (@30SOAP) July 19, 2014
Q3: Is the ‘blog version’ of you different from the ‘real you’?
@bloggerforums I sometimes think it’s the more honest version of me…. In person I sometimes get anxious #socialbloggers — Becky Beloved (@beckybeloved) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Nope im very much the same just as hyped over fashion. #socialbloggers
— Nicole Ranger (@Nikki_Ranger) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Yes and no, I’m probably more sarcastic in real life I try to keep it semi-neutral in my writing #socialbloggers — Christina Sylvester (@lifenluxe) July 19, 2014
@BeckyBedbug @bloggerforums #socialbloggers Agreed. Blog me is the version of me I wish I was all the time. Real me has off days.
— Kerri (@bluehair_Be) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums No, the.blog version of.me is the real me and my readers/ viewer are treated as my friend. #socialbloggers — Lilly (@heyhellolilly) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I appear a lot smarter on my blog than I do in real life #socialbloggers — Letmegoxo (@letmegoxo) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Not really. The only difference is in real life I use a lot of foul language. #socialbloggers
— My Legendary Style (@Legendary_Style) July 19, 2014
@MathildeMgi @bloggerforums I think it’s important to have some personal life boundaries when it comes to blogging #socialbloggers — Sarah (@saloca) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums the blog version of me has way more energy. I spend my time watching tv, blog me seems to do stuff constantly #socialbloggers
— Sally (@Wheelingalong24) July 19, 2014
@saloca@MathildeMgi@bloggerforums I kinda respect people who put so much of themselves out there but it terrifies me. — Katy D (@WhatKtyDid) July 19, 2014
Q4: Do you think the ‘top bloggers’ set the tone for how others think they should be?
@bloggerforums A4 – Yes, people always compare their blogs to bigger bloggers/get inspired BUT you gotta put your own stamp #socialbloggers — Kristina ? (@KrisEvilCupcake) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums It does for those who do it for the wrong reasons and remold themselves in the attempt to be ‘successful’ 🙁 #socialbloggers
— Becky Beloved (@beckybeloved) July 19, 2014
No, that ground has been covered. Let’s make new trends and do our own thing #socialbloggers @bloggerforums — Sophie in the Sticks (@sophieintsticks) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Yes, you need set a goal but don’t get to obsessed with it. It’s nothing wrong with wanting to be better. #socialbloggers
— Lilly (@heyhellolilly) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums we can’t help but be influenced by other bloggers, the key is to learn from them not copy them…I think #socialbloggers — Sarah (@saloca) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums I know how fashion posts ‘should be’ from seeing posts on top blogs. But it’s my blog & I do it my way #socialbloggers
— Sally (@Wheelingalong24) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Looking at blogs of “top bloggers” just gives us a starting point and inspiration. #socialbloggers — My Legendary Style (@Legendary_Style) July 19, 2014
@heyhellolilly @bloggerforums I make sure I have a set goals, I’m very competitive so I love the challenge #socialbloggers
— LilacGhosts (@LilacGhosts1990) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums A4. Maybe they have to be a certain way because they are seen as ‘professional bloggers’ #socialbloggers — Yazmin (@YazzysCorner) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums @beckybeloved Id love to be successful at somethin I enjoy-like blogging-but its a hobby I love & it suits me #socialbloggers
— Married to a Geek (@MarriedtoaGeek1) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums A4: They serve as the precedent, but a blog can be anything you want it to be. #raisethestakes#socialbloggers — Chicademics (@chicademics) July 19, 2014
Q5: What makes your blog unique?
@bloggerforums q5 my cat
— Georgie (@georgienyc32) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums #socialbloggers It’s probably not unique, & I’m probably not uniques. But I’m completely OK with that. Or maybe thats unique?
— Kerri (@bluehair_Be) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Oh it’s a good question! As a new blogger I need more time to find it 🙂 #socialbloggers
— Mathilde Mgi (@MathildeMgi) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums Well…there’s only one of me…my blog is me…I guess that’s unique…?! #socialbloggers
— Married to a Geek (@MarriedtoaGeek1) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums My lifestyle/advice posts and writing style give a unique edge (at least I think so) #socialbloggers
— Christina Sylvester (@lifenluxe) July 19, 2014
Not unique but I do my own thing. Enthuse over things I love and enjoy sharing #socialbloggers @bloggerforums
— Sophie in the Sticks (@sophieintsticks) July 19, 2014
@bloggerforums it’s unique because it’s mine & because I do wheelchair fashion posts, u wouldn’t believe how rare they are!! #socialbloggers
— Sally (@Wheelingalong24) July 19, 2014
Q5 @bloggerforums not sure my post topics are unique but my words, photos and little touches are all my own #socialbloggers
— Gemma S (@Gemma_DS) July 19, 2014
Corinne
1. noun: a female blogger that writes about her own experiences, observations and opinions. 2. verb: to act like a complete idiot or to do something stupid. e.g: She did a Corinne.
24 Comments
Natalia
It’s a very good subject to discuss or simply remember… I tend to mix a little bit of something personal with my love for fashion and everything that’s happening because, at the end, all these events influence me and make me who I am. I don’t see the point of pretending to be somebody else, not only because it’s a bit schizophrenic, but also because sooner or later people are going to feel it… After all people are more attracted to uniqueness rather than perfection and cliches. 🙂
JaseyJade
I totally agree!!
Corinne, That rule of yours is perfect. I am myself on my blog. But theirs of course certain things I don’t blog about. Like personal stuff. things that I don’t want classmates or other people to read.
http://www.jaseyjade.blogspot.com
Corinne
Yeah, I find people prefer uniqueness than perfection!
Jackie Harrison
I believe you should evaluate what you write before posting it and take in consideration who else will think is okay or not okay.
http://tifi11.blogspot.com
Corinne
You’re right, you don’t want to put anything out that than will cause backlash. Unless that’s what you want.
Imogen
Best post, this sure is an important topic for us. I am definitely myself and honest but probably a more outgoing version of myself. In real life I get too shy. It’s interesting you write about the difference between not being fake/protecting your privacy. That is about finding the right balance. That’s why I recently wrote about my depression which is very personal but I felt like I was living a lie if I came across happy all time. I definitely don’t think we need to reveal all our secrets but I needed to put it out there even just occasionally.
Corinne
It’s fine to talk about depression etc if you don’t mind others knowing. Because I’ve meet up with some bloggers in real life too it makes me feel a bit weird about being so open too!
Caro*
Hello sweetie, how are you ?
I love this topic.
Stay natural is very important for me 🙂
pilar domínguez
I agree with your rule. I don´t like posting about my personnal life , I just talk about my style and anecdotes which have to do with fashion. There is a huge difference between me blogger and me real. I am a very simple , pragmatic person but I love posting pictures with my outfits. Kisses:)
Amy
I’m finding my feet at the moment so i’m sure i’ll figure out eventually what works and doesn’t work for me. I would rather be completely honest however I think your rule is a good one. My sister reads mine and as you say anyone could get a hold of your blog so you do need to be careful. I guess if anyone want’s to be completely honest but doesn’t want to share for the above reasons there’s nothing stopping them sharing with a few close friends via email like you said.
Amy
amynmore.blogspot.co.uk
sgrmse.
i never restrict myself when it comes to writing, lol. ironically, i believe that’s the whole essence of why people should write. we already put up so many façades & wear so many different masks in living out “real life”— when it comes to writing, nobody should ever self-censor because being human means having real emotions & it’s totally okay to vent/confide. idk. just my opinion on the matter anyway.
Corinne
Ha, but you’re extra special 😉
Lucy
My blog is my escapism where I write about the things I love not having to conform to what people expect but where I can be myself. A really interesting discussion and I think there is no right or wrong do what makes you happy Lucy x
June
I’m pretty honest too. But totally agree with your rule of not writing things keeping mom, colleagues and stuff in mind. The only thing I don’t post about is my relationships as my boyfriends have never been keen on making an appearance. Of course, none of them lasted, only my blog did 🙂 haha
xx
http://www.JuneWantsItAll.com
Camila Faria
I think you’re right, there is a big difference between protecting your privacy and being fake. Great topic!
Kendwy @mindofkiwi
Saw my tweet! Yaaaay! Thanks for sharing <3
It really was such a great chat! I hadn't been able to attend in a while and I am so glad I made it to this one.
Corinne
Hope you make it to next weeks too!
Kerri
Thanks for the mentions, it was a really good topic!
hena tayeb
that is a great topic and I loved reading other people’s responses..
But I agree with what you said, I do not post anything that I don’t want my parents or even friends reading, I don’t share pictures that may embarrass my kids.. nothing humiliating i mean.. everything I do will one day embarrass them! I believe some things are private.. I also try to stay away from the negative. I will not blog about a fight between M and I. etc.
Olivia
Great topic to read about! I guess I would have to say that I really try to bring my voice into my writing. Personally, I like to take a little bit of time writing my posts. I think that it is important to create a specific voice in your writing-crack a joke, tell a story, etc because it’s like an insight to the blogger herself.To me, that makes the blogger more personable and easier to connect to. I really hope that my true colors shine through my blog-style, writing, etc- because in the long run, that’s where I will gain loyal followers.
Loved reading this post and also, wanted to say congrats on you 10K! Good for you, that’s amazing:)
Lots of Love,
Olivia
Corinne
I love it when people add jokes in their posts. Makes me smile and like them more 🙂
A Very Sweet Blog
I always think long and hard about what I post. I think we all keep things away from our readers. This was a beautiful post Corinne.
Amber
Great roundup again this guys! Hopefully I can be back on this chat next week I miss you all:( x
char
I definitely agree with keeping my personal life away from my blog. That said, the whole reason I began my blog was as an emotional outlet as I was coming out of a really dark time. I haven’t ever really mentioned that since the start, though and now, 5yrs later, I guess I’d feel a bit odd bringing it all back up again.