I’ve always been of the opinion that you should never argue on social media. The main reason being that the arguments rarely end with both parties coming to either a mutual agreement or deciding that they both disagree but that’s okay.
I’ve seen it happen many of times. They usually end with one trying to one up the other.
I’m over this now, bye.
I can’t be bothered with your drama.
I’m done, peace out.
Everyone is always trying to be the bigger person.
But I found myself caught up in a Twitter war a few days ago. So I wanted to talk about it.
I don’t need to go into the details, but a few weeks ago there was a comment left on my blog that wasn’t very nice. This comment was also tweeted to me by the same person. Call me wrong, but to comment and tweet the same thing seemed like this girl definitely wanted to get my attention/reaction!
I tweeted back/replied to the comment and asked the person to clarify. The person instantly back-tracked and tried to make it sound like she wasn’t being bitchy with the comment. Which I still firmly believe she was.
Ah, fuck it. To give you some context, this was the comment:
You’ve gotta admit it, 95% of bloggers have that typical cliche going on though
The girl then backtracked when questioned and said she meant in a good way. Most bloggers are all a cliche in a good way. She said she meant with how all our photos are the same, bright photos, marble backgrounds. Interpret that as you will. It’s not my place to tell you her intended meaning.
I advised her to be careful of how she worded things because it came across rude and offensive. Then that was it.
I didn’t tweet her back after that. I didn’t feel any anger or anything towards her. As far as I was concerned, we had a conversation and although I didn’t believe she meant the comment in a good way, I decided not to bother getting into a debate about it because it’s just not worth my time. It looked like she had upset some other people too and was trying to defend herself to them. This was nothing to do with me. I wasn’t involved in that and they weren’t involved in our interaction.
I forgot about it and was enjoying a hungover day on the sofa when someone screenshotted this girls Twitter and sent it to me. She was using a screenshot of the comment on my blog and my reply, then talking about being ganged up on and bullied.
That’s when I lost it.
I’m sure most of you know I’m a chilled out person.
I’m sure most of you also know that my blog is my favourite thing.
So to see someone bring my site into question on a public form of social media and mention words such as ‘ganging up on’. No. That’s not cool.
I couldn’t respond or see the Tweets myself because I was blocked.
So I tweeted that I had no idea what was going on with the screenshots.
A few hours later, I was unblocked and had replies from the girl. Again backtracking saying that she didn’t mean it like that. She didn’t have anything against me.
This girl tried to turn around the whole thing saying she’s the one being targeted by bloggers! Saying she felt attacked and overwhelmed.
- This girl started it by commenting and Tweeting me.
- This girl put screenshots of my blog on Twitter to show examples of being bullied and ganged up on.
- I’m not responsible for other people. Those people that shared their opinion did so off their own back.
- She blocked me, so clearly did have something against me.
I’m blocked again, thankfully. Because this girl just didn’t get it. Which is why I don’t usually get involved in drama online. We were going in circles and all she did was deny her intentions, backtrack, say she didn’t have anything against me and dared to say I was rude to her. When I was very rational, I believe. I was direct, but not rude.
If this girl had stood by her words, I would have had a bit of respect for her. But to continually say nasty things but then backtrack when questioned, then try to play the victim, that’s not on.
As far as I’m concerned, she got exactly what she deserved. She could have let it go and left it at our first interaction, but continued to tweet about it behind my back while I was blocked.
I’d love to say that I’ve learnt a lesson here never to interact with people like that. But I’ve not.
I think I’ve proved to myself what I already knew. That I know when to respond, and when not to.
I responded because I was being accused of something that wasn’t true. It was personal to me and included screenshots of my website.
and I would respond again.
I also kept calm, I didn’t beat around the bush and I said exactly what I wanted to say without getting into name calling.
Now, you might think I’m drawing attention to the whole thing by writing a full blog post about it. But that’s because I wanted to share what happened to those of you that may have seen snippets, or seen conversations she’s had with others about me. Which I can’t see because I’m blocked.
Also because it’s very out of character for me to get involved in anything like this so I just wanted to clarify that this isn’t usual behaviour for me. I get on with most people. There are a few bloggers I don’t agree with but I feel no desire to confront them because I’m an adult and realise it’s okay to have a different opinion on things. I’m more than happy to exist in a community of people that don’t view the world the same as me. That’s life.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, please remember this:
- You have the right to defend yourself.
- You have the right to an opinion.
- You have the ability to say what you need to say without being rude.
- There is no need to name call.
- Disagreeing with someone doesn’t mean you have to dislike them as a whole person.
- Do not reply when angry, wait until you are calm.
- There is no need to reply to other people that try and get involved.
- Stand by your convictions. If you’re not willing to, then don’t stay it publically.
- Do not play the victim.
- Stop using things going on in your personal life as an excuse to be a dick.
- Recognise a debate can be just a conversation between two people.
- If you don’t feel strong enough to deal with the possibility of backlash, just walk away.
So there you have it. My experience of my first involvement in Twitter drama in 4 years of being a blogger.
Have you ever found yourself caught up in online drama? How did it make you feel?
I’d love to keep the comments around how you would deal with negativity in social media, rather than the particular incident I was involved with as that’s in the past now!