For a few months, I was uploading vlogs almost daily. I wasn’t getting many views, I wasn’t sure how to gain an audience and if I’m perfectly honest, editing myself SUCKED.
I HATE THE SOUND OF MY VOICE.
It couldn’t be more different to how I think I sound. Which I know is because of how sound travels – I’ve looked it up in desperation. Apparently a lot of people hate the way the sound, but I’m convinced I hate the way I sound more than anyone else. I sound like an 8 year old boy and I think I speak quite.. choppy.. rather than smoothly. Is that even a thing?
I actually think it’s the worst thing about me. Every time I meet someone new, or go on a date, or have to speak in front of people I think that they’ll hear my voice and hate me. It’s pretty doom.
Before my first blog meet up, I worryingly said to Lilly that I was nervous because of how I sound. She replied saying something along the lines of I sound immature. I can’t remember how she worded it exactly, but it didn’t fill me with confidence. Lilly, if you are reading this, I forgot I owe you a punch for that one!
So I quit vlogging years ago because I was grating on myself and it gave me a kind of self-awareness I wasn’t comfortable with.
I hope that when I turn 30 on Saturday, my voice breaks and I get one of those really sexy women voices. That’s what I want for my birthday, a nice voice.
Come at me, puberty.
As per my post last week, when I said things I was going to do when I’m 30, one of those things was to stop caring about what other people think. Another thing was to stop putting myself down so much.
So yeah, I’m going to give YouTube a smash again. Even if I am awkward as well because I’m hoping in time I’ll learn to be okay with myself. and also get better.
Things will get better, right?
I have no real plans around it, just when I do something interesting, I’ll make a video. That might be once a month, might be once a week.
So here are two videos I’ve done recently:
So please thumbs up, comment, subscribe and all that stuff.
I’m most likely to do more videos when I move house.
I’ll likely be vlogging my 30th birthday and my trip to London with Hayley from TeaPartyBeauty on the 5th July – I’m going to a few press events, so that will be fun!
If you know me, you’ll know that I’m rubbish with celebrity names – so if you want to have a laff at how stupid I am, then check out this video my housemate took of me in 2011 when I was drunk and invaded her bedroom.
I was put to the ULTIMATE TEST of being made to guess the names of famous people.
Of course I did failure.