I’ve been on count down for, well what feels like my whole life.
It sounds likes such an old age. A mature age.
I look at myself in the mirror and I can hardly believe it. I don’t feel like I look like a 30 year old, I still feel like a child.
LOOK AT MY FACE, I MEAN, IS THIS THE FACE OF A 30 YEAR OLD?
I think as you get older, you change in unexpected ways. It’s frightening how quick life seems to have gone. It’s frightening how different your life is to how you dreamt it as a child.
People always say that they stop caring as much about what people think as they get older and I think that’s true. Because you realise a few things about life. Like how sometimes you do have to put yourself first, or do something that might hurt someone else. Because we have to create our own happiness, sometimes that means having nasty conversations with others, or doing something that might upset others.
It’s not easy, is it, this life thing?
I went through that stage where I wanted to be nice, to be liked by all, to find a win-win for everyone so nobody can get hurt. But as I’ve grown older, I’ve learnt that’s not always possible.
So here are some things that I’m going to stop doing when I’m 30, to hopefully live a more content life.
Stop worrying so much.
I’m a worrier. I worry obsessively and turn the smallest thing into a massive deal that is surely going to end in something tragic, like I’m going to get sacked, or I might die.
I need to stop this because none of those things have ever happened.
Be honest even when it’s hard.
Sometimes you’ve just got to bite the bullet. There’s so many times I’ve done things I’ve not wanted to in some way because I’ve not wanted to have an awkward conversation with someone or piss someone off.
When we have only one life, sometimes we have to do what we want to do with it. There’s sometimes not much difference between selfless and being a fool.
Stop spending so much.
When I finished university at 22, I went straight into full time employment, very quickly found myself in a management position. Because I have no responsibilities apart from myself, I’ve always been able to just buy what I want.
If I want an Xbox, I buy it, the new iPhone? I get it. Macbook. Clothes. Shoes. Makeup.
I’ve had my fun now, I’ve had my time of spoiling myself now it’s time to be sensible and start tracking what I save.
I had a shock a few weeks ago when I worked out I spent almost 400 in a month in Tesco on Morrisons. Just on me. Because every day I would buy prepared fruit, prepared salads.. it was all really healthy, but all really expensive.
I’ve been giving myself a budget and tracking it. I’ve been taking lunch to work rather than buying it every day. It’s time to get my act together and save for important things. Like maybe a mortgage.
Stop putting myself down.
I treat myself like shit.
Seriously. I constantly think bad things about myself all the time. I’m fat I’m ugly I’m stupid I’m dick head and I’m idiot.
I need to just shut the fuck up with those thoughts and give myself a bit more credit. I’m not perfect, but I’m not awful.
Stop caring so much what others think.
Being a worry, one of the worries is caring about what other people think.
This often stops me doing things I want for fear of being judged, or for hurting someone else.
In my 30’s is where this stops. I’m going to start doing more things that make me happy, regardless of others.
Of course, that doesn’t mean being a total arsehole and saying fuck you to everyone. It’s more about being brave in my decisions and doing the right thing for me.
WHO IS WITH ME?