It’s happening people.
You know how I keep going on about how I’ll probably end up living alone and being a crazy cat person?
That half-joking nightmare is one step closer to becoming a reality.
I’ve decided that I want to live on my own.
It’s something I had been considering for a few months. But I wasn’t sure if I should stay here for another year or not because:
- My housemate and I already discussed staying another year.
- I don’t actually hate my housemate and didn’t want to leave her financially unstable.
But a letter came for us through the post – a letter that said our tenancy is almost up and we can either take out another year contract, another 6 month contract or a month by month contract.
After thinking it over, I texted Christine and told her I think we should go month by month as I didn’t want to be living her over the winter. That opened a discussion and basically, she wants to live with her boyfriend at some point and I want to live in my own, so it’s a win win.
This means I’m currently obsessed over finding my new house. I’ve got properties saved in my book marks, on my rightmove app.. the frustrating thing is they all want someone ASAP and I’m looking to move around September/October.
I’ve been in love with a 2 bed flat that’s free from October 1st, but I can’t view it until August 1st. Now I’m in love with a 3 bedroomed house that’s available from 22nd July, but I’ve just found out someone is in the process of getting all the paper work sorted to take it.
Adult problems, eh?
I always thought I’d end up living alone at some point. But I didn’t think it would be quite this soon. Although I’m excited for it. I’ve been craving it.
I’m approaching 30. A few weeks to go. And the truth is, I’m fed up in this house. For a few reasons.
Firstly, the kitchen and living room is awful. There’s an ugly sofa in the living room that the landlord wouldn’t remove so we could replace it. The kitchen is tiny and there’s no counter space to prep food. Making my lunches for work is a bit of a mission between balancing tupperware on the oven hobs and packets of veg on the microwave.
Secondly, like I said, I’m almost 30 and I’m fed up of living out of my room. I have everything in my room and spend all my time here like a teenager because the living room is doom. I have so much stuff now, too. It’s all crammed in here and I want my bedroom to be just that – my bedroom. And have a space for my computer and blogging either in the corner of a living room or in a second bedroom. I also want to leave my towels in the bathroom rather than hung up on my wardrobe door. Like an adult. IMAGINE THAT HUH?
Thirdly, this house is so cold. Even on really hot days, where everyone is saying how hot it is – my house is still cool. The sun doesn’t sit on it at all. From around October until last month, I’ve been freezing my arse off thanks to my wooden floor, the fireplace in my room and the heating not actually heating the house up for a good few hours. I spent all autumn, winter and spring in PJs covered by onesie and a dressing gown, then with a hat and slippers on. When times got really hard, I had a hot water bottle down my top. I was pretty miserable and I 100% am not having another winter like that! I was so unproductive as it was hard to blog or do anything when that cold. I don’t go to work 5 days a week and work my ass off to make money, to then spend that money living in a house that’s so cold it makes me cry. NOPE.
Fourthly, you can hear everything in this house. That includes my neighbour who is apparently allergic to everything and sneezes from around 7am – midnight about every 5 minutes. He also makes these weird growling noises which I’ve not worked out if it’s him singing, morning, a dog crying or a sick person. It starts of like a dog howling but then turns into something that sounds human like. I think he’s torturing someone. I might be next. I must get out while I can.
It is a bit daunting, of course. At the moment, Christine and I split the adult type stuff up. She sorts council tax, electric and gas while I sort rent, Internet and water. I’m going to have to do all the adult stuff by myself. Also we’ve lived together for so long that I’m not actually sure what we bought together, what’s mine and whats hers.
I’m also a little afraid of feeling lonely – but surely that won’t be too bad because I only see Christine about once a week now. I think I need to be a bit strict with myself about making plans though and aim to do more things socially. I can get a bit stuck in my head and just want to gym/blog/eat well – then decline social things because it will mean a missed gym session, a missed day of blogging and a hangover which usually means eating crap.
I’ve not been sleeping well at all since I made this choice, if I’m honest. It’s not because I think I regret it, I think it’s because I’m obsessing over finding the perfect place, I’m worried I’ll find something I love but not be able to get it so have to settle for something else. I’m stressed about getting the time off work for moving as I don’t have a date yet and I’m having so many nightmares about moving, about viewing houses and signing contracts. I’m having dreams where my teeth all crumble and fall out while I’m doing these things.
Teeth falling out is supposed to symbolise change. A transition. A turning point in your life and the anxiety around that. And that’s what’s happening, I guess.
It’s been on my mind a lot, so I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Thanks for listening. I’ll be sure to keep you updated on my house hunt.
Wish me luck.