A friend and I used to drink 3 bottles of wine on a Friday night, then I’d get up at 6am and work a 7-4 on a Saturday. Now, if I touch alcohol, the thought of going to work even in the afternoon is a scary.
There’s nothing I hate more than wasting time.
As someone that puts pressure on themselves to be doing more – just one more blog post, just one more Tweet, just 10 more comments.. sometimes I can find myself mad at myself for even taking an hour away from the computer to watch an episode of OITNB. And yes – I’m aware entirely that this is pressure I put on myself and it’s not something I want to relax a little on just yet, but the outcome is something I thrive on.
Sometimes you’ve got to do things you don’t always want to do to get the results you want. Which means going to the gym when I don’t always want to. Or cleaning my room when it’s a tip but I’m tired. Or forcing out a post at 9pm at night after a long day at work, going to the gym and having to be up at 5am the next day for work. Even if I don’t want to. Because I want a healthy body and a healthy mind – going to the gym and blogging does that.
You might wonder why blogging gives me a healthy mind. SURELY TAKING A DAY OFF WILL GIVE YOU A HEALTHY MIND TOO, RIGHT?
No, the opposite.
On Sunday, I had a headache and wasted the entire day watching TV. Not as I had planned.
I planned on going to the gym, I planned on writing at least 4 posts for this blog, 3 for my fitness blog and 1 for my tech blog, which has now been neglected for over a week.
Instead, I slowly and painfully wrote two posts and put together a graphic of wishlist items for another post. Kicking myself for not being able to do more. But I just couldn’t.
It makes me wonder what life would be like without blogging. What other peoples lives are like without blogging. I’m pretty sure I’d just be obsessed with YouTube stars, Netflix and my Xbox.
So why do I do it?
Because blogging serves a purpose for me. And it’s not to inspire others. It’s not to make extra money or be famous on the Internet.
It’s to use my time productively and create something.
Most of the time I enjoy blogging. Like, right now for example, I’m really enjoying writing this post. Because it started out a totally different post but I got a bit sidetracked and starting babbling, so it’s changed direction a little.
This is easy. Doing this is easy today. I know if I didn’t have 2 flats to view and a gym session after, if I wasn’t sat here in my towel and superman dressing gown, having just got out the shower, I could write 10 blog posts today.
But I have things to do. A lot of my friends joke that I’m part Internet. But I also have a real life, as well as a secret Internet life and they both take up a lot of time.
Although there are times when it’s not easy.
Those times when I have weird work hours and I’m tired, when I have to make the choice between getting ahead with blogging and feeling comfortable in my mind that I’m up to date, or go to the gym and feel comfortable with my body, but winging it a bit on the blog front.
There are times when I just can’t be bothered. Those times when I just want to switch off and watch TV for the evening. But there’s that constant niggle in the back of my head that tells me no. I need to carry on. That’s the thing with blogging. The job is never done. There’s always more you can do.
I’ve committed to daily blogging. I’ve committed to repaying kind comments people leave me. I’ve committed to scheduling tweets and being planned and organised.
Because it’s the outcome I love. Having a blog that documents the past almost 4 years of my life, having comments and tweets and thousands of people following me on Twitter, Bloglovin, Instagram that help me feel good about myself when I cannot help myself. You lot see the good in me, the best in me. That’s wonderful.
It’s the pride. It’s the stubbornness. It’s the people on Twitter that say you can’t daily blog and have quality posts. It’s my boring job. It’s being single and almost 30 and having no kids, pets, responsibilities. It’s my reason and purpose and the only thing that makes me feel like I’m not a waste.
So when people think that blogging shouldn’t be a chore, I think they’re wrong.
Blogging isn’t a chore most of the time for me, but sometimes it is. And that’s okay, it doesn’t mean I should stop or that posts I write when I’m not in the mood are crap.
If we wanted to give up on everything when it felt like a chore, we wouldn’t achieve anything.
Going to the gym, training for a marathon, learning to play the piano, decorating your house – nothing is perfect all of the time, but we carry on because of the end result.
I just wanted to say that.
Because I think far too many people say they won’t blog if it feels like a chore. Which is fine, you can do what you want.
But what gets to me is when people say it shows in your writing. You produce crap. You should take a break.
A few times a week people refer to me a superhuman, or a blogging machine – I’ve been asked to send people my motivation, to reveal how I do it.
It’s no secret really.
I made a commitment to myself and I stick to it.
Even on the days when it feels like a chore.