What gives YOU the right to judge my body?

judgeme

A week or so again, I posted this image on Instagram.

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I was already doubting whether I should post it or not, as it’s not a flattering photo. Those shorts don’t fit me well and the baggy tank makes me look frumpy because it’s a size too big now.

But I posted it anyway, because we all have bad angles and I’m trying to love myself a bit more. I mean – I was starting to love myself a bit more.

You can tell that because I’ve started putting photos of myself on Instagram again. Photos of my full body.

I gained some weight over winter. For a few reasons. I was diagnosed with vertigo and basically on bed rest for a week and unable to exercise for even longer while I recovered. Before that, my gym closed without warning before that and I had to wait about 6 weeks for my new one to open – the good intentions I had of working out at home didn’t seem to happen.

When I felt well enough after the vertigo, I went back to the gym and  was ready to post about it on Instagram again.

I use Instagram to log my workout, I used to post a shot of me in full length mirror, then photos of my heart rate monitor or machines with the distance/time I had gone.

These disappeared when I gained weight. They turned into photos of the machines and wrist only. Because I felt ashamed of myself.

I also had stopped wearing sleeveless tops and started wearing my baggy race t-shirts because I wanted to hide my body.

It wasn’t until the end of March that I had the confidence to swap them out for tanks.

It wasn’t until April I had the confidence to post photos of myself again.

I was seeing the changes in my body and although I wasn’t 100% happy with myself, I was happy enough to bring back the gym selfies.

To put my progress into perspective, look at this:

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I’m proper self critical of myself, but even I can see a difference in the photos and admit I really like what I see. I worked really hard too, so I’m proud to share that photo.

So, where was I?

Ohhh yes. I was posting the photo me in the gym studio amongst some weights.

Many likes and kind comments later, I get a message on my Facebook page from someone I don’t know:

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Lol ur getting fat.

Lol.

Ur.

Getting.

Fat.

What a flippant way to make someone feel so bad about themselves, right?

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It’s less what they actually said. I mean, contrary to popular belief, I’m a rational being. I know I’m not fat. Also, I knew already it wasn’t the most flattering photo of me. I know I look slimmer now than I did 3 months ago. I know this person needs to suck a dick and shut the fuck up. Yarp. I went there.

It’s more about how people find it acceptable to comment horrible things about the way someone looks, about the shape and size of their body. It’s the assumption that:

To put yourself out there online, you must expect that some people will say mean things about you, don’t you know that?

Actually no. I shouldn’t expect to have someone send me messages calling me fat. Or saying I have hairy arms. Or telling me I need to get a bigger dress size – which has also happened before.

I don’t get on my high horse often. Probably because I’m too fat to even get on a horse. Lolz, jokes. But one thing that truly pisses me off is when people think it’s okay to troll, bully and slate people over the internet. Then say because they’ve shared it, they’ve asked for it. You know, like how girls wearing short skirts are asking to have their arses touched in a nightclub.

I don’t care how if the person is famous, has a million Instagram followers, or is just an average person like me. Nothing gives anyone the right to pass judgement on another person when they’re not asking for it. I don’t deserve that kind of shit and neither do you.

Even if I was getting fatter, then so what? I’m a self-aware adult and I think I’d be able to make that conclusion all on my own, thank you very much.

I’ve blocked the person that sent me the message because I don’t have time or energy for people like that.

It makes me dread what comments I’ll be getting next. Wonder when I’ll stop caring so much. I hope that’s soon. Because this person hurt my heart.

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20 Comments

  1. June 10, 2016 / 7:45 am

    You are beautiful inside and outside. Sometimes people say negative and mean things to you is because they are either not happy with their life or they have so many hatred. They are also jealous about you. Jealous of your successful or life etc. Those are the kind of people we do not need to give a crap about. If you feel insecure about your body, tell yourself that you are beautiful, no matter it is inside or outside. And as long as the people, you love, said that you were beautiful then that is enough. (at least to me is haha)
    May be you do not have the ‘perfect’ body image that you want. I still found that you have a very pretty eyes. 🙂
    P.S. Judgmental person really gets on my nerve.
    jess recently posted…Food Diary #3 | Sushi ExpressMy Profile

  2. June 10, 2016 / 9:16 am

    These kind of comments really annoy me! People can be so ‘brave’ on the internet… I know it’s difficult to see what is actually in the mirror rather than what is in your head, but you do look good. And more importantly, you are getting healthier as well.

  3. June 10, 2016 / 10:34 am

    This is a very great article! First of all, you look great just the way you are and aren’t “fat” at all. Secondly, it is just so stupid to make comments on somebody’s appearances as if how you look is of great importance when it’s really not! I always post less flattering pictures of myself on my Instagram and sometimes I get comments about it, but I just feel bad for these people for even having the need to bring others down when I myself would never do that because I don’t let my happiness depend on such shallow matters like they do.
    Helena – Swedish girl in Tokyo
    http://www.ilenczfalva.com/
    https://www.instagram.com/helena_de_ilenczfalva/

  4. June 10, 2016 / 10:38 am

    First of all, you look great, and I’m constantly in awe of your workouts. Secondly, I’m SO with you on this: I absolutely HATE this idea that “if you put it out there, you have to expect something back!” – it’s right from the “but she was wearing a short skirt!” school of victim blaming, and I wish more people would speak up about it, because I get the feeling that bloggers especially feel they have to adopt this weird position of accepting that people are going to sometimes be cruel to them, almost as if they “deserve” it for daring to post photos of themselves, and we should never have to accept that kind of behaviour.

    Yesterday I got a horrible comment on Instagram (Well, I’m assuming it was horrible – it was made up totally of emojis, so I guess I could have misinterpreted it, but I think she was trying to express shock, horror and embarrassment at my appearance), and I’m slightly ashamed of how long I spent fretting over it, and asking Terry what was wrong with me, and was I THAT ugly that I deserved people to point it out to me. I ended up deleting it, because I have PMT right now, and in the mood I was in, I’d just have snapped back at her, but it kinda ruined my day – I’ve had a few negative comments lately, and I just couldn’t stop wondering what it was about me that made people dislike me SO much that they think, “Oh, Amber’s posted a photo of herself: I’m going to make her feel bad about it!”

    Sorry for the essay – I just really related to this, and I’m sorry that person was so rude to you!
    Amber recently posted…Off the WagonMy Profile

  5. June 10, 2016 / 11:23 am

    How bloody nasty! That really pisses me off. How dare they say things like that! It’s so pathetic. I have no idea what makes them think “this is a good idea”. Body image is so important to each of us and just because you can post a photo of yourself doesn’t mean your strong enough to take shit! Honestly it’s awful. I can’t stand people like this online. I have had stuff myself and I gave them a few home truths.

    Honestly they are jealous. What wankers!

    http://www.fixmeinfortyfive.com

  6. June 10, 2016 / 11:32 am

    Some people are just mean and choose to hide behind the social media to offend others. They’re all bunch of asses who don’t deserve a second of your time. I’ve been on the other side of this spectrum – for the entire life people who don’t know me or have known me poorly have been shouthing how I’m too skinny, how I probably never eat bla bla even though I spent so much time explaining that its the fucking genetics, my entire family is skinny and no matter what I do or how hard I try (and believe me, I did try like a maniac because of all of those comments) I just can’t gain any weight. And then I just decided to start ignoring it all, it’s my body, my life and no one has any right to say anything about it. I hate it how some people are just there to make you feel bad about yourself, I will never understand that type of behaviour. I think you look great, definitely NOT fat, not even in the unflattering gym photo (and we all have those real photos, I mean, why should we hide it) and wow at the amazing workout progress in such a short period, congrats! <3
    Matea recently posted…Summer in Croatia: Lazy beach day in ŠibenikMy Profile

  7. June 10, 2016 / 12:11 pm

    Everyone get negative comment here and there is what to expect when we put our self out there to the media. The test is how strong is our skin to ignore and not give them to much attention because no matter if is good or bad attention they want it. I block and erase the message. I had not experience no one talking about my physical but I had been call the B word for no apparent reason the person do not know me I chuckle and erase as long as you do not feel that way ignore the ignorant insecure people is obvious their is so many of them out there and is sad.
    Jackie Harrison recently posted…AVOCADO AND MANGO SALADMy Profile

  8. June 10, 2016 / 12:27 pm

    I saw this on Instagram and literally couldn’t believe it! Firstly your progress picture is absolutely amazing and you look incredible! You’re so motivated and every time I see one of your gym pictures of Instagram it’s fitspiration for me to get off my arse and exercise myself haha. Secondly, I just despair that people think they can get away with stuff like this just because the internet makes them feel anonymous – I don’t understand why people do it and it makes me so angry, they must be deeply unhappy themselves to say things like that. Luckily I haven’t experienced anything like that yet but I’m sure I will so I’ll have to try and keep a level head like you!
    Amy xx
    Amy recently posted…Girl PowerMy Profile

  9. June 10, 2016 / 2:12 pm

    Go you for blocking the person that commented, that’s outrageous. Everyone has ups and downs with progress but you’re obviously on the right track and feeling better about yourself so keep going! 🙂

  10. June 10, 2016 / 3:34 pm

    How rude and unnecessary! Some people really need to think before they make comments like. Your body is no one’s business but your own. I’m glad to hear you’ve recovered from the vertigo. I had a very bad case a few years ago that left me bedridden and I know how debilitating it can be. Good on your for getting back on the work out track when you were able to.
    Rowena @ rolala loves recently posted…Song Hye Kyo and Song Joong Ki at the Baeksang AwardsMy Profile

  11. June 10, 2016 / 6:01 pm

    Okay, people like these asshole needs to sod off, they are oxygen thieves. You’re NOT FAT by any means and it pisses me off when people feel the need to tell others what they think about things that have nothing to do with themselves. Why don’t he/she check his/her own thighs and do something about them? Too much free time on their hands. Absolutely unnecessary and bloody rude!
    Shireen L. Platt recently posted…Wet n Wild 1 Step Wonder Gel, Yay or Nay?My Profile

  12. June 10, 2016 / 6:02 pm

    How sad are these people with their lives? That’s always the first thing I think of. What kind of person does that? They must be very unhappy with themselves, probably don’t have friends or a job. I just don’t understand – what goes through your brain when you decided to troll like this? The fact that you are enjoying your gym workout so much and making progress and feeling happier is all that you need to think of. I still cannot get over that sad, lame (badly written) message.
    Fashion and Frappes recently posted…A Fashion Essential I Don’t Get – The Trench CoatMy Profile

  13. June 10, 2016 / 9:05 pm

    Great post dear.Its so sad that some people need to write rude comment to others to make them feel better.
    I always get such rude comment and i delete and block the person immediately.Don’t pay so much time and thoughts to such comment.

  14. June 11, 2016 / 1:21 pm

    I know it’s difficult but you need to ignore the one bad comments and look at all the positive. You’re dedicated to your gym routine and it’s paying off as we can see from the pictures you post. If you inspire only one person to step foot in a gym or find the confidence to run outside, then you’ve done an amazing job!

  15. June 11, 2016 / 4:44 pm

    I know that by posting online, we all open ourselves up to the 100’s off asshats that live in this world! So for someone to ‘decide’ that the right thing to do was to message you like this is still, unbelievably mean and nasty. I think you look awesome and super brave to share pics like this when I definitely couldn’t!
    They can go screw themselves while you carry on being the fabulous being you are! Tania xx taniamichele.blogspot.co.uk
    Tania Michele recently posted…June PlaylistMy Profile

  16. June 26, 2016 / 3:33 pm

    I will never understand the mentality of people who can be so cruel. Who think they have the right to say something like that to someone. Really, we should feel sorry for them. There must be something so lacking in their lives that have to belittle you, or others, to make themselves feel better. Hey, maybe they’re really fat and they’re saying mean things to you, or others, to make themselves feel better. I truly believe that there is some flaw in a person who thinks it is acceptable to troll/bully/slate others on the internet. It doesn’t make it any hurt any less when it happens to you though, I know. x
    Aimee recently posted…Book Review – All The Missing Girls by Megan Miranda*My Profile

  17. July 23, 2016 / 8:33 am

    You aren’t fat AT ALL. And even if you were you’d be better off being fat than rude and thick because fat is a lot easier to fix! Your photos are encouraging to the rest of us who are finding getting fit difficult so please keep posting them for as long as you are happy to do so.

  18. October 13, 2016 / 1:13 am

    the title of the post drew me in straight away – feels like the world is forever body shaming everyone, tall short fat thin poor loaded – people feel it is there right to pass judgement on the world and your life! love this post and 100% stand by it, you are proud of you (and rightfully so) no one should take that away from you xx

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